I had no idea that by letting my DD CIO...

Pennylane824

That I was missing out on valuable snuggles and not responding to her needs. Apparently, I should be breathing in every moment that she screams in my arms because she's so effin tired she can't control herself.

I don't know how my 26 month old has grown into such a thriving young girl after I neglected her so. She tells me all the time what a crappy mom I was that we made her cry those three nights back when she was 5 months old. Forget the fact that she's been a champion sleeper ever since.

Seriously... my hope is one day we can stop being giant douche bags to each other and realize there isn't one good way of parenting. As a general rule most of us are trying to do what is best for our family.  

 

snowybride08

I just don't know what good a post like this does.  Good for you -- CIO worked for you.  I'm glad for you that your kids are great sleepers.  However, this kind of thing is just perpetuating the problem.  Some people are never going to agree.  I guess parenting just brings that out in people.

kerrbear72

Feel better?

Also, my hope is that one day, there wont be a need to gain validation as a parent from internet strangers. 

 

Pennylane824

It wasn't meant to gain validation at all. I've been on these boards for years and no one ever agrees which is fine... not agreeing is great. My point is to not make people feel like bad mothers for whatever they do. As long as you aren't abandoning or neglecting your children we're all trying to do what's best. 

vilaro

kerrbear72:

Feel better?

Also, my hope is that one day, there wont be a need to gain validation as a parent from internet strangers. 

 

Waves at Kerrbear. Congrats on your beautiful baby - I had no idea!

Pennylane824

I guess maybe I should have said something more along the line as I don't personally attack someone's mothering. I don't think a lot of things are the right way to parent MY kids but I don't tell someone that they're neglecting a basic need by doing it differently.

By all means, if you want to get involved say that I just don't do CIO, or I just don't believe in starting solids before 6 months or whatever it is... but why say you wouldn't dare do something because you'd be neglecting your child's basic need.

I think we can all pretty much agree that those of us on here and participating in conversations about our kid are as a general rule not neglecting them.  

kerrbear72

vilaro:

kerrbear72:

Feel better?

Also, my hope is that one day, there wont be a need to gain validation as a parent from internet strangers. 

 

Waves at Kerrbear. Congrats on your beautiful baby - I had no idea!

Hey you! Thank you How the heck are you?

jandy09

Pennylane824:

I guess maybe I should have said something more along the line as I don't personally attack someone's mothering. I don't think a lot of things are the right way to parent MY kids but I don't tell someone that they're neglecting a basic need by doing it differently.

By all means, if you want to get involved say that I just don't do CIO, or I just don't believe in starting solids before 6 months or whatever it is... but why say you wouldn't dare do something because you'd be neglecting your child's basic need.

I think we can all pretty much agree that those of us on here and participating in conversations about our kid are as a general rule not neglecting them.  

Yep. So can we all just leave it at this?

kerrbear72

Pennylane824:

It wasn't meant to gain validation at all. I've been on these boards for years and no one ever agrees which is fine... not agreeing is great. My point is to not make people feel like bad mothers for whatever they do. As long as you aren't abandoning or neglecting your children we're all trying to do what's best. 

The one thing I've learned thus far in my very short stint of being a mother is that when it comes to parenting techniques, there's no way to address an opposing opinion without the other feeling as if they're doing something wrong. 

I'm fully aware of the fact that when it comes to my child, I am an irrational lunatic and will defend him and my choices for him until the bitter end. With that being said, I chose to not get involved with debates over CIO, BLW, bumpers, blankets, and the list goes on and on. 

You starting this thread did nothing but respark the debate on a topic which you strongly have feelings for. You've put yourself in a position to be judged and judge.You're defending what you do and you don't need to. Nothing you say is going to change anyone's mind.

With that being said, I honestly have no idea why I'm even talking about any of this stuff. nft  

 

Manateearmz

Aww man! I know a beating a dead horse post when I see one! I apparently missed out on a bunch of "bad parenting" dramaz.

I'm not really sure what the big deal over CIO is. Here is my 2 cents, in case anybody is interested.

If my daughter ever crys after I put her down there is a reason, she is sick, wet, or hungry. She will happily play in her crib until she falls asleep normally. If she is crying she has needs that aren't being met. That's also just the way she is, my second baby might cry just for the hellz of it, and in that case CIO will work for that baby.

CIO works for some and isn't needed for others. Depends on the baby IMO.

For the record, you're all horrible mothers. Why are you fighting on the internet instead of tending to your crying babies in their cribs? I have every right to be here because I am a working mother who's child is raised by day care workers.

Maryland Baby

I think everyone on here can agree we only want what is best for our child and in the long run no one can know how there child or anyone else's will react to each method. I haven't decided what side of the fence I am on right now. On the one hand I want to nurture my child be there for her every need as it breaks my heart to hear her cry, and worry if I don't what kind of person she will become. On the other hand she's are so freaking clever that she knows when she cries for me or whines whilst daddy holds her i will pick her up.. then I worry because of that what child will she turn out to be. 

I don't judge anyone who does or doesn't do cry it out. Good for you, you have done your  research and are trying to help your child grow into a well rounded person. 

I have bigger things to worry about, is she gaining enough weight, is she healthy, is she happy, I checked all night when she was born to make sure she was breathing, do i sing to her enough, is she happy, is she sick, i think about her CONSTANTLY and the list goes on and on and on..... My child knows she is loved.

Point to all this: we all love our children and want what's best, somehow we will all get there by doing our best and what we think is right. I think we can all agree on that one thing for once!

Sharon21

Wow! I am glad that I had a lot of sh!t to do IRL this weekend and missed all this crap! Maybe I will just continue to stay away if this is what this board has turned in to.

walkercpa

mandaree:

For the record, you're all horrible mothers. Why are you fighting on the internet instead of tending to your crying babies in their cribs? I have every right to be here because I am a working mother who's child is raised by day care workers.

Hahaha! Me too! I'm a bad mother and a bad employee lol.

maddie789

Scout2005:

Well, given the garbage that's been flung out by the anti-CIO camp over the last couple of days, I don't know that I blame the OP.

I cuddle with my child all the time. I also did let her CIO for a week almost three months ago to help her get down for the night. 

No, I don't need to be "validated" by other moms on the internet. But yes, of course it stings to have people imply that I neglect my baby, or ignore her in a time of need, or am disinterested in cuddling/holding/cherish her. I would love to still rock her to sleep. She won't let me, and was MORE  hysterical when I tried. So, we moved on.

There doesn't seem to be room for that possibility - that not all kids want to be rocked or soothed to sleep, and that some NEED the transition of sleep training - in the majority of the posts and responses over the last couple of days.

Exactly. This wasn't the route I wanted to go, but when you have a child who will wake up the second he hits the crib mattress and cannot put himself to sleep, then it is my job to teach him. I work full time, and currently for my son to sleep we can either put him in his rock and play - which he is getting too big for, or sleep with him on the recliner. He needs to learn to sleep in his crib.

Manateearmz

walkercpa:

mandaree:

For the record, you're all horrible mothers. Why are you fighting on the internet instead of tending to your crying babies in their cribs? I have every right to be here because I am a working mother who's child is raised by day care workers.

Hahaha! Me too! I'm a bad mother and a bad employee lol.

CHEERS! Now we just need to throw leashes and spanking into the mix.

inthewater

mandaree:

walkercpa:

mandaree:

For the record, you're all horrible mothers. Why are you fighting on the internet instead of tending to your crying babies in their cribs? I have every right to be here because I am a working mother who's child is raised by day care workers.

Hahaha! Me too! I'm a bad mother and a bad employee lol.

CHEERS! Now we just need to throw leashes and spanking into the mix.

  Ditto!

Manateearmz

buffaluffagus:

inthewater:

mandaree:

walkercpa:

mandaree:

For the record, you're all horrible mothers. Why are you fighting on the internet instead of tending to your crying babies in their cribs? I have every right to be here because I am a working mother who's child is raised by day care workers.

Hahaha! Me too! I'm a bad mother and a bad employee lol.

CHEERS! Now we just need to throw leashes and spanking into the mix.

  Ditto!

Wait for it...

CIRCUM-CISION!

Also,

Get off my board you slore!

Excuse me now I'm going to go breat feed my child uncovered in a public place.

 

Manateearmz

Burp.

Manateearmz

ETA: TB thought this was so funny it triple posted.

TBLilyRose

My niece kicked a hole in the wall at the age of 7 because she had a traumatic flashback to when her parents made her CIO as an infant.

True story.

 

Or not really. I think she was just mad because she didn't get her way. But I've heard only kids that are left to CIO ever misbehave. 

Pennylane824

kerrbear72:

Pennylane824:

It wasn't meant to gain validation at all. I've been on these boards for years and no one ever agrees which is fine... not agreeing is great. My point is to not make people feel like bad mothers for whatever they do. As long as you aren't abandoning or neglecting your children we're all trying to do what's best. 

The one thing I've learned thus far in my very short stint of being a mother is that when it comes to parenting techniques, there's no way to address an opposing opinion without the other feeling as if they're doing something wrong. 

I'm fully aware of the fact that when it comes to my child, I am an irrational lunatic and will defend him and my choices for him until the bitter end. With that being said, I chose to not get involved with debates over CIO, BLW, bumpers, blankets, and the list goes on and on. 

You starting this thread did nothing but respark the debate on a topic which you strongly have feelings for. You've put yourself in a position to be judged and judge.You're defending what you do and you don't need to. Nothing you say is going to change anyone's mind.

With that being said, I honestly have no idea why I'm even talking about any of this stuff. nft  

 

Well apparently I'm just a d*ck when it comes to trying to make a point.  Here's the deal I wasn't trying to change anyone's mind and I'm fine with it sparking a debate. I was just stating that my ability to meet my child's BASIC NEEDS where being come into question.

That being said, I agree... I'm not sure I'm even still talking about this because I missed the mark in making my point....

I WILL say, however, that after I thought about it I realized that I was wrong in saying that I don't come here for validation because I definitely DO come here for validation. I'm not on much but other than this thread the only reasons I point is to answer a question someone has or to have my questions answered. I do need to be validated when I wonder if I'm doing something wrong in terms of trying to get my very crappy sleeper on some sort of normal or predictable schedule.   

Pennylane824

kerrbear72:

Pennylane824:

It wasn't meant to gain validation at all. I've been on these boards for years and no one ever agrees which is fine... not agreeing is great. My point is to not make people feel like bad mothers for whatever they do. As long as you aren't abandoning or neglecting your children we're all trying to do what's best. 

The one thing I've learned thus far in my very short stint of being a mother is that when it comes to parenting techniques, there's no way to address an opposing opinion without the other feeling as if they're doing something wrong. 

I'm fully aware of the fact that when it comes to my child, I am an irrational lunatic and will defend him and my choices for him until the bitter end. With that being said, I chose to not get involved with debates over CIO, BLW, bumpers, blankets, and the list goes on and on. 

You starting this thread did nothing but respark the debate on a topic which you strongly have feelings for. You've put yourself in a position to be judged and judge.You're defending what you do and you don't need to. Nothing you say is going to change anyone's mind.

With that being said, I honestly have no idea why I'm even talking about any of this stuff. nft  

 

Well apparently I'm just a d*ck when it comes to trying to make a point.  Here's the deal I wasn't trying to change anyone's mind and I'm fine with it sparking a debate. I was just stating that my ability to meet my child's BASIC NEEDS where being come into question.

That being said, I agree... I'm not sure why I'm even still talking about this because I missed the mark in making my point....

I WILL say, however, that after I thought about it I realized that I was wrong in saying that I don't come here for validation because I definitely DO come here for validation. I'm not on much but other than this thread the only reasons I point is to answer a question someone has or to have my questions answered. I do need to be validated when I wonder if I'm doing something wrong in terms of trying to get my very crappy sleeper on some sort of normal or predictable schedule.   

kerrbear72

Pennylane824:

kerrbear72:

Pennylane824:

It wasn't meant to gain validation at all. I've been on these boards for years and no one ever agrees which is fine... not agreeing is great. My point is to not make people feel like bad mothers for whatever they do. As long as you aren't abandoning or neglecting your children we're all trying to do what's best. 

The one thing I've learned thus far in my very short stint of being a mother is that when it comes to parenting techniques, there's no way to address an opposing opinion without the other feeling as if they're doing something wrong. 

I'm fully aware of the fact that when it comes to my child, I am an irrational lunatic and will defend him and my choices for him until the bitter end. With that being said, I chose to not get involved with debates over CIO, BLW, bumpers, blankets, and the list goes on and on. 

You starting this thread did nothing but respark the debate on a topic which you strongly have feelings for. You've put yourself in a position to be judged and judge.You're defending what you do and you don't need to. Nothing you say is going to change anyone's mind.

With that being said, I honestly have no idea why I'm even talking about any of this stuff. nft  

 

Well apparently I'm just a d*ck when it comes to trying to make a point.  Here's the deal I wasn't trying to change anyone's mind and I'm fine with it sparking a debate. I was just stating that my ability to meet my child's BASIC NEEDS where being come into question.

That being said, I agree... I'm not sure why I'm even still talking about this because I missed the mark in making my point....

I WILL say, however, that after I thought about it I realized that I was wrong in saying that I don't come here for validation because I definitely DO come here for validation. I'm not on much but other than this thread the only reasons I point is to answer a question someone has or to have my questions answered. I do need to be validated when I wonder if I'm doing something wrong in terms of trying to get my very crappy sleeper on some sort of normal or predictable schedule.   

You're not a d*ck. Actually, after admitted that you were looking for validation, I think you're the opposite of a d*ck (is the opposite of that, a vagina?)

 

 

Pennylane824

kerrbear72:

Pennylane824:

kerrbear72:

Pennylane824:

It wasn't meant to gain validation at all. I've been on these boards for years and no one ever agrees which is fine... not agreeing is great. My point is to not make people feel like bad mothers for whatever they do. As long as you aren't abandoning or neglecting your children we're all trying to do what's best. 

The one thing I've learned thus far in my very short stint of being a mother is that when it comes to parenting techniques, there's no way to address an opposing opinion without the other feeling as if they're doing something wrong. 

I'm fully aware of the fact that when it comes to my child, I am an irrational lunatic and will defend him and my choices for him until the bitter end. With that being said, I chose to not get involved with debates over CIO, BLW, bumpers, blankets, and the list goes on and on. 

You starting this thread did nothing but respark the debate on a topic which you strongly have feelings for. You've put yourself in a position to be judged and judge.You're defending what you do and you don't need to. Nothing you say is going to change anyone's mind.

With that being said, I honestly have no idea why I'm even talking about any of this stuff. nft  

 

Well apparently I'm just a d*ck when it comes to trying to make a point.  Here's the deal I wasn't trying to change anyone's mind and I'm fine with it sparking a debate. I was just stating that my ability to meet my child's BASIC NEEDS where being come into question.

That being said, I agree... I'm not sure why I'm even still talking about this because I missed the mark in making my point....

I WILL say, however, that after I thought about it I realized that I was wrong in saying that I don't come here for validation because I definitely DO come here for validation. I'm not on much but other than this thread the only reasons I point is to answer a question someone has or to have my questions answered. I do need to be validated when I wonder if I'm doing something wrong in terms of trying to get my very crappy sleeper on some sort of normal or predictable schedule.   

You're not a d*ck. Actually, after admitted that you were looking for validation, I think you're the opposite of a d*ck (is the opposite of that, a vagina?)

 

 

 

LOL - yeah I think you just called me a vagina...