I've hit a wall

APRILYN501

My daughter was born at 32 weeks 3 days.  She's been in the NICU and is doing well.  Has never needed oxygen or any breathing assistance.  No A's & B's.  Her IV came out after a week and she is now just a feeder/grower.  They started her on the bottle after day 3 in the NICU.  She responded well and was taking 87% of her feedings through the bottle.  Then Saturday she just stopped eating.  She still has her NG tube so they have just been feeding her through that. 

 The doctor told us on Friday that she could come home mid week this week, but now that she is not eating that will not be happening.  I'm just so frustrated and disappointed.  They say that she stopped eating because she is wore out.  I understand and certainly do not want to push her too much.  But, I want her home.  It broke my heart to come home without her.  I cry everytime we leave.  

It's so hard to balance having a 5 year old at home, a preemie in the NICU, recovering from a C section, plus the house, the dog, the bills and just life in general. My poor husband and I are so sleep deprived and exhausted both physically and emotionally.

 I know everyone is going through this.  I realize how lucky we are that we made it to 32 weeks and that she has no major issues.  There are so many preemies in our NICU that can barely make it day to day.  But I know that the NICU is the NICU and there is no contest there.  Every baby and every mom have their own journey and we all share the same fears and sorrows.  

 Any advice for how you just survive the day to day?

adrielegorburu

You are in the home stretch and its a hard place to be. I remember thinking we would never leave the NICU - but the light is on at the end of the tunnel and you should give your LO the chance to let you know when shes ready to come home. In the mean time try and take a little bit of time each day to get ready for her homecoming, do her room and laundry etc. She will be home in no time. It helped me to keep my regular NICU schedule - there may be set backs like youve experienced and I didnt want to get my hopes up about any specific coming home date. good luck

sail123

This happened to us at around the same GA. One of my guys was a champ and then just wore out. I completely understand your frustration and disappointment.

In the end, for us, it was a blessing that he showed his inability to handle the feeds before we got him home. The fed him by alternating tube and bottle and he got nice and chunky If he was home he would have failed to thrive and then we would have had an entirely different set of problems. 

It is frustrating but it is important not to rush the discharge. She is still very young and most NICUs don't allow babies to leave before 35weeks GA.  

haziedaze

((HUGE HUGS)) Sometimes that last stretch felt like an eternity because we were so close, but still not home. She WILL eat again. Do lots of snuggling and skin to skin time to help her self regulate. Keep us posted- you are SO close!

njdcgirl

Besides the excellent advice you have already gotten, I will also just say that you need to take some time to take care of yourself as well.  The house can wait.  Bills can be a little late.  Sleep.  You are recovering from surgery, and have a young one at home that wants your attention too.  You CAN'T do it all. 

Do you have any family or friends nearby that can help out?  Take them up on it. (It is so, so hard to take help, but it can be a life saver.)  Have someone do laundry, sweep,  empty the dishwasher, take your 5 year old for a few hours.

You should focus on your recovery, sleep, and your kids (at home and in the NICU).  Everything else can wait. You can do it!  (And, I'm happy to hear your LO is doing well - even with this setback, she probably will be home with you soon.)