If your kid doesn't nap, do you enforce a "quiet" or "down" time?

Jhawks482

My 3 year old doesn't nap much anymore- unless we're out and he falls asleep in the car. If we are home, he never wants to take a nap. My DD is consistently taking a good afternoon nap and I'd really like for DS to have some sort of quiet time; i SAH and it would be wonderful if I could have just 30 minutes to myself. Does anyone enforce this, and how do you go about doing so? What do you allow them to do, and do they stay in their room?

kpips20

We're in the same boat - DS hasn't really napped in about 8 weeks except for 1 or 2 times he fell asleep in the car on the way home from somewhere. I still have him go to his room and tell him it's naptime. I don't care what he does up there as long as he's fairly quiet and not destroying his room. Lately he's been laying in his bed for about 15 minutes and then bringing some books in and "reading" for a while. He doesn't want to stay there for every long, maybe 35 minutes, so I actually just ordered an OK to wake clock to use. If he opens his door before the 35-40 minute mark I tell him it's still naptime and have him get back in bed.

Jen&Len

We had DS start quiet time when he started showing signs of fighting every single nap.  We leave him in his room and tell him that he has to stay there for quiet time.  He is allowed to do anything he wants in there...he just can't have loud/electronic toys.  We have a small wardrobe that we fill with quiet toys/activities and books for only quiet time.  We keep it locked except for quiet time, which lets him look forward to it.  We used to have a gate up to keep him in, but we took it down since he figured out how to open it!  But he stays in there when we tell him.  Occasionally, he'll come out and yell down the stairs that he wants a particular toy from downstairs, which is fine.

Ironically, since we started quiet time, DS has napped every single day for 2+ hours!!!  He plays by himself for about 30 min to an hour and then he crawls into bed by himself and falls asleep!  So we end up getting close to 3 hours!

Pesky

Dear Lord yes.  I just tell DD that it is quiet time and she can play quietly in her room during the time until I come to get her.  She is in there for up to 2 hours (usually when we nap too).  She has lots of toys in her room and can pick out several books to read and also bring in crayons and coloring books and paper.  There is plenty to keep her active.

anna7602

DD stopped napping over a year ago (around the time she turned 2). I tried "quiet" time in her room, but it just didn't work for us. She's much happier playing anywhere she wants in the house and can play on her own for long periods of time. Asking her to stay in her room was just a recipe for disaster.

What we basically do now is have some element of downtime if we're together all day. We either spend the morning playing at home and then have play dates or museum/zoo/etc. outings in the afternoon or do it the other way around.

At school, DD is really good about sitting quietly with books or doing some kind of artwork on her own while the other kids are napping (so say her teachers).

jnksmom

DS doesn't nap at all and DD only naps a couple days a week. They both have quiet time every day for an hour. I put them in their rooms separately, shut their doors, and tell them I will be back to get them in an hour. They are allowed to play but they have to stay in their rooms and they have to play quietly. They have both done really well staying in their room and playing quietly. DS is usually playing with his cars/trucks or reading a book when I go open his door. DD is usually playing with her baby dolls, dollhouse, or reading books. She has even fallen asleep in her floor a couple times.

angelakh

DD hasn't napped for almost 2 years now - yikes!  She does really well playing by herself and like pp said, I give her lots of down time - normally in the afternoon.  

 

Court0026

When he first gave up naps we did.  He had to stay in his crib with books and puzzles for 45 minutes (during one of DD's naps).  However, he made so much noise and I was constantly worried that he would wake her up, so I just skip it now.  It stinks, but I can't deal with him waking her up and I can't make him be that quiet. 

kmhunt11

At her 3 year appt, DD's pediatrician said she absolutely needs a quiet time, and at least an hour.  As soon as I said "you don't need to nap, it just needs to be quiet" she started napping again.  lol  She's back to not napping again, but still hangs out in her room with her books and animals for an hour or more.  

soveryexcited

We are dealing with this right now. In the second trimester of my pregnancy I didn't feel like I needed to take a nap, so she would just bring a stack of books and read on the couch downstairs next to me. Over the past month I swear I've gotten more exhausted so every day DS and I take a nap together. DD can play on her bed (dolls/books/ipad) but cannot leave her room. I let her watch a show one time downstairs while I tried to nap and DH almost bit my head off by telling me that it was unsafe to leave her downstairs by herself.

Stacyc625

when she doesn't nap- she KNOWS she needs to stay in her room until her music goes off- (quiet lullyabye music)- she can lay in bed read books, play with her dolls etc.

If she acts up/is loud- i go i and restart her CD and she is in there longer- I had to do that a total of 3 times ever. She knows.

septemberdreams

DS still has nap time at school/daycare-even though he doesn't nap-so we continue the rountine on weekends.  Also DS is high maintanence and high energy so we like naptime.  Usually DH and I will nap.  Sometime DS will nap also but if not he plays in his room and play with toys/read books.

KL777

Most of the time DS still takes a nap but on days he doesn't---he does have quiet time in his room.  The door is closed, the music is played softly, and I select which toys he plays with in his toddler bed.

Yes, you deserve some down time, even if it means putting him in front of the TV in the living room while you take a one-eyed nap on the couch.

jlw2505

My kids are in preschool/PreK full time so it is only on the weekends but we do a quiet time almost every daily on the weekends and they both have this at school as well.  My little one naps almost all the time at home and about 50% of the time at school while my older DD rarely naps anymore.  I tell my girls that they don't have to sleep but that I don't want to see or hear from them for x amount of time.  They can read, look at books or play with the quiet toys in their room.  I am happy to get an hour out of each of them which is typically not an issue.

ecoppins

Yes, we absolutely enforce quiet time. She needs it and so do I. We typically do 45-60 of quiet time and it is concurrent with dd2's nap time. 

We read a couple of books all together. Dd1 stays on her bed with the books she wants me to read to her when I come back while I put dd2 down for her nap. I come back and read a couple more books, then put on her night night noise, and tell her it is quiet time, that she needs to sit on her bed and do something quietly. She gets the choice of reading books, or playing quietly with a toy. If she stays in her room for 20-30 minutes I come back and tell her she can dance to quiet time music (on of her favorite independent activities) If she does that  happily until the cd ends (20-30 minutes) there is a special mommy/dd1 activity. Sometimes we bead a necklace, or have a tea party or we dance together, or a game that we don't do when dd2 is awake bc it has small pieces, just anything to incentivize the quiet time. 

I started with 10 minute intervals, with two different independent activities, and slowly have increased the time. It works pretty well, sometimes she comes out to go potty (um, you just went 10 minutes ago?) or to see what I'm doing, usually working or paying bills etc. If she comes out, I tell her that this is quiet time and she needs to go back in or I will have to put her down for a nap.

Strangely, that logic works for her.  

tqsbride

DS hasn't willingly gone down for a nap for nearly a year. (Yikes).  He naps at preschool/daycare but on the weekends it's hit or miss.  He is high energy and has a hard time winding down.  I try to keep it quiet and boring after lunch and sometimes he'll announce that he wants to go upstairs, other times I suggest it.  He can read books in his room but no other toys as this seems to get his energy level ramped up again.

I've resorted to a rewards system within the last 2 weeks in order to get him to sleep.  Guilty admission: He gets 1 scoop of ice cream if he closes his eyes for an hour.  What actually happens:  He literally sleeps for 2 hours.  I need to switch to another reward system but I'm trying to find something else that he really wants.

PRmamma

I have a 3 year old who always takes at least a 2 hour nap.  There are some days when she doesn't feel like napping for whatever reason, but I still enforce a quiet time in her room.  I need that alone time for my own sanity as well as her own time to regroup and have some down time of her own.  I feel like if every moment of the day is chaos, then both mother/father and child will have horrible melt downs.  We still have a gate on our daughter's door because we have a two story house and it comes in handy with naptime and/or quiet time.  She never fights us on it because we have a naptime/bedtime routine we've done with her since she was born.  My best advice would be if you have trouble keeping him in his room for quiet time would be to be very matter of fact and firm when it is quiet time or nap time...and be prepared for a fight that will require you to exercise patience and persistence.  My daughter also has a friend the same age who doesn't nap, but her mom does quiet time with a calm movie.  Good luck!