I'm so scared I'm going to dissapoint DH

crystalknpp

We were eating dinner talking about my appointment today, all of my meds, and when the ER and ET might be.  Then I get up and start doing dishes and DH walks over to me and turns off the water and asks for a hug.  It was really random and while he was hugging me he said "It's going to work this time."    It took everything in me to not start balling.

He deserves to be a dad and I am so scared of this IVF not working and breaking his heart again.  I honestly don't know what our next step will be if this doesn't work.  All the pain over the last 2+ yrs TTCAL has really taken its toll on both of us and I just don't know how much more I have left in me right now.

delino

Oh hun...that was so sweet of your husband.  I hope with all my might that it does work this time for you.  I read your blog last night and so much of what you wrote I could have written myself.

crystalknpp

delino:

Oh hun...that was so sweet of your husband.  I hope with all my might that it does work this time for you.  I read your blog last night and so much of what you wrote I could have written myself.

Thanks hun! I wasn't sure if anyone even read my blog anymore but for me its very theraputic.  No one IRL even knows it exists.  I hate that any of us have to go through this process but if you have any questions about IVF please feel free to ask.  PM me and I'll send you my email address if you like!

+SMACE+

(((big hugs)))

(((more hugs)))

I want to say the right thing, but I can't word it right. So. I'm just going to hug the crap out of you.

Well, not literally. 

(((hugs)))

buckeyebaby814

Big ::HUGS:: hon.  Sounds like you have an awesome husband!  I have my Fx for you that this is the cycle of your take home baby!

delino

crystalknpp:

delino:

Oh hun...that was so sweet of your husband.  I hope with all my might that it does work this time for you.  I read your blog last night and so much of what you wrote I could have written myself.

Thanks hun! I wasn't sure if anyone even read my blog anymore but for me its very theraputic.  No one IRL even knows it exists.  I hate that any of us have to go through this process but if you have any questions about IVF please feel free to ask.  PM me and I'll send you my email address if you like!

 thank you.  i am going to pm you my email address now....dont worry, i wont drive you crazy with questions.

crystalknpp

delino:

 thank you.  i am going to pm you my email address now....dont worry, i wont drive you crazy with questions.

I promise you won't drive me crazy! :0)

Carolee

crystalknpp:

We were eating dinner talking about my appointment today, all of my meds, and when the ER and ET might be.  Then I get up and start doing dishes and DH walks over to me and turns off the water and asks for a hug.  It was really random and while he was hugging me he said "It's going to work this time."    It took everything in me to not start balling.

He deserves to be a dad and I am so scared of this IVF not working and breaking his heart again.  I honestly don't know what our next step will be if this doesn't work.  All the pain over the last 2+ yrs TTCAL has really taken its toll on both of us and I just don't know how much more I have left in me right now.

I *get* so much of this post.  DH keeps saying he's hopeful, but I know deep down these past 3 years have taken their toll.  And especially now with how badly this IVF went, I don't know what our next step will be.  I feel so guilty because I can't give him a baby.  We can solve his issues with ICSI, but there's nothing we can really do to solve mine.  I hope so much that this cycle works for both of us.  (((HUGS)))

crystalknpp

Carolee:

I *get* so much of this post.  DH keeps saying he's hopeful, but I know deep down these past 3 years have taken their toll.  And especially now with how badly this IVF went, I don't know what our next step will be.  I feel so guilty because I can't give him a baby.  We can solve his issues with ICSI, but there's nothing we can really do to solve mine.  I hope so much that this cycle works for both of us.  (((HUGS)))

I have everything crossed that this cycle is it for us both to love.  This whole process takes such a toll emotionally and physically and it makes it so hard to stay hopeful.  I guess all we can do at this point is try and keep each other as positive as possible! ((HUGS))

butterfly843

((hugs)) I hope this cycle is it for you guys. I recently noticed I started saying if we have kids instead of when, this entire process is so difficult and I'm sorry any of us have to go through it.

crystalknpp

butterfly843:

((hugs)) I hope this cycle is it for you guys. I recently noticed I started saying if we have kids instead of when, this entire process is so difficult and I'm sorry any of us have to go through it.

I was just thinking about the same thing the other day.   I've noticed that when I talk about children in the future I no longer talk about it being a definite thing.

lavril

Big ((((HUGS))))  I have everything crossed that this works for you!!! (you too Carolee!)

CashewsMommy

{{{hugs}}}

1220winterbride

lavril:

Big ((((HUGS))))  I have everything crossed that this works for you!!! (you too Carolee!)

((hugs)) fx for all of us. Your DH sounds like a dream boat.

1220winterbride

lavril:

Big ((((HUGS))))  I have everything crossed that this works for you!!! (you too Carolee!)

((hugs)) fx for all of us. Your DH sounds like a dream boat.

1220winterbride

lavril:

Big ((((HUGS))))  I have everything crossed that this works for you!!! (you too Carolee!)

((hugs)) fx for all of us. Your DH sounds like a dream boat.

1220winterbride

lavril:

Big ((((HUGS))))  I have everything crossed that this works for you!!! (you too Carolee!)

((hugs)) fx for all of us. Your DH sounds like a dream boat.

MandaS08

You won't disappoint DH-if it doesn't work (I'm praying for you that it does) he'll be disappointed-but not in you!  My DH is the optimistic, reassuring one so in some ways I feel like he takes things harder than I would, b/c I try to prepare from the beggining for things not to work out.  Also, our issues are solely with me-so I do understand totally how you feel.

csquared426

((HUGS))

I know exactly how you feel.

cutebride73

Oh honey - I completely understand feeling that way.  I feel like I am a constant disappointment to DH - never being able to carry his babies.  He always tells me that he married me to be with me, not to have simply have kids and that he will be happy even if it's just us.  It's hard though because I am glad to hear him say that, but I know he would be a super amazing dad.  I so wish I could give that to him.

I know it's hard to keep going, but I believe that it will happen for you.  Try to stay positive.  I really hope that this is the time.  ((((hugs))))