Discharged from maternity ..first postpartum outing=huge fail!

frogchic295

Today I was discharged as a patient from maternity leaving my beautiful little boys in NICU.  After my 10 days in for bedrest and delivery i thought i was excited to be able to leave the hospital, DH took me to the pharmacy to get meds and other odds and ends and then we went to chilis as a celebration for having babies and my being able to eat real food outside of my hospital room.  Pharmacy stop was ok for the first 20 minutes then i started to get weepy....we got to chilis and i thought it would be ok because i would be eating and chatting with DH....WRONG... after 15 minutes i was a hot mess! i couldn't stop crying totally sobbing!  I made DH ask for the check before we had even eaten our entrees and I could tell our waitress was stressing over the situation so i made DH explain to her why i was a mess and of course she understood and was very kind.  I HATE for anyone to see me cry so this was doubley terrible for me!  Thank Goodness my hospital has a very gracious rooming in policy for NICU parents where they allow 3 extra days in the hospital with no services just a place to sleep so mommies and daddies can stay near babies but I am sure tuesday will be a repeat performance.... grrrr I know all of this will be over before i know it but mean time sucks!!! Thank goodness for K care, we did that on return and i was able to get calmed down!

MommynTeacher

First, I am so sorry you have to go through this, I know how hard it is to leave your babies when you go home. I give you a lot of credit for even trying to leave the house! I was in such a hole the day I was discharged that I wept the entire way home and until I almost passed out when I came home. Just spend as much time as you can with your babies and do as much kangaroo time as you can- it will help. I hope it gets easier for you...one thing that helped me was telling the nurses I had to be as involved as possible. Before I knew it I was doing a lot with my LO and when I left I at least felt like I motherd her when I was with her. Stay strong! Your babies will be home with you, where they belong, soon!

hunt2005

I'm so sorry you had a rough experience. I agree with the above - I think kangaroo helped me more than them. Try to get out of the hospital for a few minutes each day, even if its just to run to McD's drive through. But yeah - I remember that first dinner where we couldn't figure out what to talk about, I kept looking at my hospital bands, and the lady looked at me like I was crazy for ordering a beer considering I still looked 5 months pregnant .

lilstar2009

Totally understand where you are coming from.  I remember my DH told me after a week of basically staying at LO's bedside that I needed to take a break.  I was NOT happy with this.  I may have yelled at him   He reminded me that I needed to take care of myself too, that my body had gone through a lot!  I remember crying-- a lot, but for me, the break was a great idea on hindsight.  My LO stayed in the NICU for 58 days, and as the PP said I got really involved, and any time I wasn't there I would call, and call and call, sometimes several times a day just to check on LO...at first I thought I was bothering them, but they said I wasn't and that they really liked that we were so involved.  They would even leave pics of LO by the isolette showing us how well he was doing...I treasure each and every picture and they are in his scrap book now!

mt1927

i totally understand where u r coming from. i was excited to leave the hospital but was so sad to leave my baby. however the first time i went out in public i totally fell apart. i had to find a bra that fit and it was aweful. i broke down crying several times. and for while i only went into public if i absolutely HAD to for several weeks. it gradually got better but it was still always weird. 

anyways K care always always helped me. in the early weeks when i was at home and away from the baby i was a mess. as soon as i got the hospital i was totally calm and together.  

adrielegorburu

i still count the day I was discharged as one of the hardest days of my NICU journey. I made it out to the car before I completely lost it and I cried the rest of the night.  DH and I did try to go out to eat occasionally while she was in the NICU and I tried to get some rest - but I almost burnt myself out staying at the NICU for 12-16 hours a day - its true what PP say, you need to take care of yourself. I started to at least go out to lunch, walk around the lake go home to shower and eventually found a routine that allowed me lots of time to be with DD and some time to be ok away from her. Its a balancing act.

GatorNurse

I agree with a PP - the day I got discharged and we drove away from the hospital, no carseat, no baby...I was hysterical. I sobbed the entire way home, and couldn't even get out of the car. We just sat in the driveway, crying and holding hands. It was terrible. We ate dinner, showered, and went straight back to the NICU.

Make sure you take time to care for yourself, too. I had a CS and did too much entirely too quickly and then couldn't do anything but rest for like three days straight.