Having son moved to another daycare class and feel bad

married

My son is in the toddler room at his daycare.  He just moved in there a little less than a month ago.  I got this nagging feeling from the beginning that something wasn't right.  He has two main teachers and the one that was there in the morning I practically had to chase down to get her to take him from me.  It seemed like she was aways busy doing something else and wasn't overly friendly with him.  Then he would cry and sometimes he would tell me he wanted to go home.  Well that was his first week after transition so I figured maybe that was normal. 

 I also saw a little girl run up to the sink and turn the water on full blast and just walk off.  That teacher acted like it was nothing.  I have some friends who work in that daycare - not like really close friends - but good enough that I can ask them their opinions.  One told me she tried to get him to be able to skip that room.  And the other told me that they don't have structure in there and don't believe in it.  So they recommended I asked for him to be moved. 

 So I contacted the assistant director and tried that and she pretty much let it go in one ear and out the other.  And then I tried the director.  She listened and they are going to move him.  But she made me feel bad.  First she told his current teachers a few of the things I said about why I wanted him moved.  I hate this because I have to see them in the mornings pretty much every moring and I don't want a conflict.  And I also feel bad because I just didn't want to hurt them.   I don't know why I can't just feel good about what I did because I feel that my son needs a lot of structure.  And I'm worried about what I will say if they confront me with why I did it.  Especially since I didn't complain to them first.  I'm just not a complainer.  I hate it. 

 They are going to move him right out of that room.  They asked me if I would rather do that or transition him and I said move him out.  I don't want him in there now with people who are gonna be mad.  I didn't know she would tell the teachers why.  Anyway, I'm also nervous because my son has been kicking, hitting and spitting and she said that the new room the kids are quite older than him (by six months or more) and she just is worried about that.  So I'm worried now.  But my friends there didnt think it would be a problem.  Ahhhhh.  I hate trying to do the right thing for my child and thinking that I might be doing wrong either way. 

PiperBride

I'm sorry, that sounds super stressful.  I hope he does well in the new room.  I think you have to trust your instincts and keep a close eye on how things are going. 

katie277s

You do not need to feel bad.  You pay a lot of money for your DS to go there, and the least they can do is listen to your concerns and try to accomodate.  If there is no structure and employees are telling you to get him out of that room, I would seriously consider switching daycares all together.  It seems that no one is taking it as seriously as they should.  These are children!!!  Their providers should be looking after them!! 

kylara111

You know what ... don't worry about hurting the teachers feelings.  You're doing what's right for your son and that's what matters.  I hope he transitions okay!

niecy

You are not raising the teachers, you are raising your son and need to do what's best for him. If they don't like it and get mad at that, too bad.

Littlejen22

Don't feel bad and trust your instincts.  I know it's hard b/c you don't want to hurt anyone but you are protecting your child and honestly anyone else's child.  The director needs to know what's going on and the only way for them to try to change things is to say something to the teacher.  DS is not in daycare anymore but when he was I complained about something (cannot remember what) and I felt very weird seeing the afternoon teachers the next day but I could not look the other way.