- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Single Parents
scout426
member
Visitation Help
scout426
member
Short story h is off his rocker (court agreed) and we are now living about 3 hrs away from each other. He is very unbalanced and unpredictable. I have tried to set up an eow supervised visit scheduled. We should be seeing him this weekend. I had arranged for him to come this way with a place to stay and food provided at no cost to him. Now he has no transportation and is leaving it up to me to make the arrangements to head his way. On top of this I had arranged him to be here for a 3 day visit. So now he expects/wants me to stay that way for 3 days. I can't afford this. I have no where there that I can think of to do a supervised visit and I don't feel safe around him alone. The only solution he has is his father's who witnessed me getting hit and then told the cops that it never happened. (So that to me is out of the question.) Should I just give up on trying to see him? Do I need to try harder to set something up? Am I wrong here? All week he mentioned his moms as a back up place to have visitation. He never cleared it with his mom and stepdad and they have to work all weekend and won't be around. I don't know what to do. I don't want to keep him from his daughter. But he isn't giving me any room to work with and thinks I'm unreasonable to want supervised visits. I'll be honest I am still holding out hope that they will find the right medicine and therapy to help my husband so we can be a family again. I'm not ready to give up on him and still love him. But I am trying to do whats right for my daughter by using my (and my therapist) head not my heart in all this. Any ideas or insight?
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Visitation Help
If he wants to see his child, and it's supervised, he needs to pay. There's NO reason why you have to support him to see his own kid. he's an adult even if he's "off his rocker."
End of story.
If he has no way to get there/back up plan, oh well. Not your problem.
In my bag
d90
50mm f/1.2 * 28-85mm (Macro) f/3.5-4.5 * 70-300mm f/3.5-4.5
Opteka Fisheye Adapter * Lightscoop
All this.
If he wants to see his daughter he will find a way. Do not, I repeat DO NOT provide food, transportation or even money to him! You need to file for child support and HE needs to file for visitation. By making/letting you pay and set everything up he is manipulating you in many ways. Add in the fact that he then gets upset with you when it's not 100% what he wants is another reason he's taking advantage of you. Stop it now!
Stand up for yourself and don't forget to update us! Good luck
You are NOT keeping him from his daughter by not setting up and paying for his visit!!! It is not your responsibility to make sure he get to and is taken care of!!
Is visitation set up through the courts?? If it isn't, I honestly wouldn't do ANYTHING further to make visitation happen until it is. He can be court ordered to supervised visitation, on a certain schedule with a neutral party, whom he has to pay.
No nothing is court ordered. My therapist suggested that I set up some sort of visitation with him on my terms. However, he has twisted and morphed all of my terms into what suits him best. I don't want/feel like I can go to court because I have testified and stand by what I said in court in that I was having him committed to get him help not to get the upper hand in a ploy to file for divorce. So as far as any divorce filing is concerned its up to him. I get to sit and wait.
I've also decided not to drive there for a visitation this weekend. I spoke to his mother, step father, and sister about not going and they agreed that he should have made more plans if mine weren't to his liking.
Now to stress about Christmas plans. I want to fly to my parents with dd for the holidays. That would mean no possible way for visitation while I am gone. Otherwise I stay here alone with just dd. Doesn't sound like my ideal 1st Christmas with dd. For some reason I am pretty sure he is expecting dd and I to stay at his parents for Christmas (3 hrs away) so he can see dd for Christmas. God I wish I get more courage in all this.
To be honest, i'd go to see my parents. Would it be nice for him to see DD at Christmas, yes i'm sure. But it's not possible with him living 3hours away, you shouldn't have to go stay at his parents house just so that he can be happy. Guess whose happiness trumps his...YOURS!!!! There will be many more Christmas' that you guys can split. If you want to spend DD's first Christmas with your parents. Tell him he can do "christmas" with her before you guys go, or after you get back. She's a baby, not like she knows the difference anyway.
ETA: reading previous posts, this guy has serious control over you. I doubt he even WANTS to see DD at Christmas. He just wants to know where you are & make you do what it is that he wants. GO SEE YOUR PARENTS!
Exactly.
In my bag
d90
50mm f/1.2 * 28-85mm (Macro) f/3.5-4.5 * 70-300mm f/3.5-4.5
Opteka Fisheye Adapter * Lightscoop
Agree with all the PP. Do NOT allow this person to control you. If he wanted to see your daughter, nothing would be in his way to do that. But instead he can't be bothered. PLEASE go see your parents on Christmas. Be surrounded by people who love you and your daughter, not held hostage to a person who has shown you he probably will not show up.
Remember, all he had to do was show up. You took care of everything else. And he couldn't be bothered to do that. His actions are exactly who he is.