Opinions please. (warning LOs in sig)

caitlyn_alexis

A H.S. classmate lost her DS earlier this year from a placental abruption at 30w6d. He was on life support for 2 days before they decided to let him go be with God. I wanted to send her an ornament for her Christmas tree that let her know that I still think of her and her DS. I wanted it to represent her angel in heaven. I found an ornament of an angel that reads "Angels danced the day you were born." I can't decide if that is appropriate for the situation, or if it would be offensive to her. The last thing I want to do would cause her more pain that she has already endured. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

*I am sorry for the loss(es) each of you have endured.

Petunia844

Your friend is lucky to have you, and thank you for posting the warning about your sig.  It's tough to say exactly what she'd want... I know a lot of moms would love something like that, but I can't say for your friend.  My mom bought an angel tree topper for her tree and for mine, it is a boy and she bought it so that my son could be a part of our Christmas', the fact that she bought it meant so much to me and I have it on my tree now.  The only thing you also could consider would be an ornament that would remind her of her daughter, did she have a nursery theme?

No matter what I know that I would love to know that my friends are thinking of my son, and that's the most important thing.  

hewinked

It's a very tricky situation.  Right after my loss, I honestly would have thought "eff those angels."  Now, I feel a little differently.  I got an ornament from a friend that says, "I'm spending my Christmas with Jesus this year," and it made me cringe.  That's just me though cuz I'm still mad at God and struggle with faith since losing my son.  However, I did appreciate the gesture.  Sorry, I'm not too helpful with this.  I think if you got her an ornament with simply an angel or with her son's name would be better.  Just my opinion. 

Very sweet of you to send a gift to your friend.    I love getting gifts and cards now, almost a year later.  It helps me know that people still think of my DS and of us. 

Petunia844

Sorry, after I read the last post I re-read yours... I think the message on the ornament you were thinking of might not be the one I'd choose.  I agree with PP, something more simple.  I don't really like to think that angels rejoiced that I lost my son.... I feel more like he is my angel. 

hewinked

I wanted to add that the ornament my friend sent me is beautiful and even though the words made me cringe, it is beautiful, I was touched, and I did hang it on my tree.  I'm not completely bitter.    She had it engraved with my son's name and his birth and death dates.  That was my favorite part.  I love seeing his name and anything that says "son." 

krysiahamaty

Everyone grieves differently so it's hard to say how your friend would be. I personally am not doing an Xmas tree this year but plan on doing a little one just for my LO. Each of my girlfriends got Jack an ornament. I appreciated it because they are acknowledging him and want him to be part of Christmas no matter what. But like the PP said, maybe do something simple. 

You are a good friend. And thank you for the warning and the condolences.  

may2806

That's wonderful that you are such a good friend, and an ornament is a lovely idea. However, I'm not sure I would pick that particular ornament - I don't think that message is quite appropriate. I would also be like 'eff the angels' - they're happy and rejoicing but I'm miserable? 

The lovely ladies on the IFV board got me this porcelain heart ornament that reads 'Always remembered, always in our hearts' - it's not specifically about a baby, but it's a beautiful sentiment: 

https://www.amazon.com/Hallmark-2011-Always-Remembered-Ornament/dp/B0055PEJLG

(sorry can't make clicky. HTH) 

NicoleD54

This is a tricky situation because everyone is different in their grieving. If it were me I would love to receive an ornament from a friend remembering my son. However, I think the wording on the ornament might not be the best for her situation, especially since her son died a few days after he was born. I think anything personalized would be nice, or like another poster said something that would remind her of her son such as an item that goes along with the theme of her nursery. A simple cross or angel would also work well.

babymomma78

Coming out of lurking....
I picked out this ornament for my son:

https://www.hookedonhallmark.com/Willow-Tree-Angels-Embrace-Ornament_p_32889.html

I wanted something fairly conspicuous and simple and fell in love with it.

magdalina.h

I don't know if I would want "Angels danced the day you were born". To me, it seems like a happy occasion, birth of a healthy baby, when that's not what they got. I think you are an amazing friend for thinking of this. Does she associate anything with her son? Frogs are my thing for Aidan and one of my friends has white butterflies as her symbol. If she does, you could give her an ornament in that shape. My mom bought me an ornament this year that has a frog on it. :-)

There is also an ornament that says something along the lines of my first christmas in Heaven.

caitlyn_alexis

Thank you ladies for all your feedback. I am going to find something a bit more appropriate.

Jackie2200

I bought myself an ornamet from The Comfort Company (.com).  It is simple and says "Those who we held in our arms for a little while, we hold in our hearts forever."  For me, it's perfect.  It acknowledges that my babies were here and also that my love for them is forever. 

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