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WYDI (would you do it?) RE: relocating with kids
Yesterday DH was asked to go to Australia for work. Originally it was just to go over there and hire someone to fill a manager position and train them, probably 2 months minimum. Then, the director of his division called him and asked him to go on a more permanent basis - 2 year minimum. He told her no. A bit later the VP called and asked- he told him we would have to discuss it. So, they have a meeting to discuss things on Friday.
DH and I discussed it and while if we were still without kids we would go in a heart beat. But, kids complicate things. I think it would be a great opportunity for A (J is really too young for it to mean much). But, I also know it will be hard. She will adjust though, I know it. The hardest part would be not having family near. 
I know a lot of you ladies do not have family near, so honestly how hard is it. We would most likely only be going for 2 years, but it could turn into 4. The minimum would definitely be 2 though.
DH is going in with some pretty high demands if we were to go, so I doubt it will happen. It is possible, they do do these things, but it is not typical. They would have to really want him to agree. Right now I'm at a non-reality place of thinking how cool it would be to live in Australia for a few years! 
I know if reality was to set in that I would be freaking out though- still excited but nervous.
For those that have relocated with kids- tell me some of the realities of it, especially if it was overseas. My family moved overseas for 2 years when I was 8, but I only know it from the kids perspective. (yes, I'm going to call and talk to my mom eventually, but right now it would just FREAK her out and I don't want to do that unnecessarily.) I know her biggest struggle was with the language- but that won't really be an issue for us.
So, what would you do? Would you go? (if all conditions were what you asked for- it would be a pretty sweet deal!)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: WYDI (would you do it?) RE: relocating with kids
i would do it for sure. my only concern would be our dogs, as i really consider them part of the family and i'm not sure how things work with international travel and pets.
yes, there will be challenges and it will be tricky to work it all out. but what an amazing way to expose your children to different parts of the world and immerse them in another culture. my biggest regret in life is not traveling more and learning more about the world when i had the financial means to do so. good luck with the decision.
I would do it in a heartbeat! Especially if all conditions were met. All moves are nerve wracking, whether it's to a new city in your same state or to another country. I think kids are resilient. They'll adjust. You'll meet new people, set up a support system. It all works out.
We have some friends (two couples) who moved to the US from Scotland and from Germany (respectively). Both couples moved with their children. It didn't take them long to establish a support network of friends.
I think you should seriously consider it.
I would do it in a heartbeat. My brother, his wife, and children moved overseas to Germany about 4 years ago for his job (which is also a temporary assignment). They have had an amazing time. They have traveled all over and have seen so many things they wouldn't have been able to do otherwise. They have really adjusted to life there and have made some wonderful friends that they consider family. Their kids have adapted really well and really, kids at such a young age are so adaptable.
They like it so much that when my brother was offered an extension, he took it immediately. Sure, they miss a lot of things about the US and they miss us, but for them it has been a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
6-yr-old Elena and 4-yr-old Julia.
My Blog! All about my girls and quilting
Kiarox- me too! I traveled for most of my 20s and while I LOVE my life now, I do hate that I really don't get to travel anymore.
When DH asked I immediately said "YES!" (not thinking about any of the reality) :P
Boxer- yeah the pets are an issue.
I googled yesterday and it looks like it is possible to bring them over but $$$$$$ and they would have to be quarantined for 30 days.
I'm really hoping they just laugh at him and say flat out no. What will really suck is if we have to negotiate what it would take to get us to go. The main thing holding DH back right now that if they did a typical move of him through his company he would have to resign as a US employee and be rehired is an Australia employee. That in and of itself is not a big deal, but it would mean giving up his senority with his company when we came back (and not guaranteed a job) which would mean loosing his 4 weeks of vacation and some benefits.
Oh, and there is also my job. I love my job and it would suck not to work at all. But, that is minor.
This is how I see things as well. My husband has always wanted to go to Australia and it would be really hard for me to make him turn that chance down. Sounds like an amazing adventure for your family!
The hardest time to be away from family, for me, was when the kids were super young. Now, it's just normal to be away. That said, we still see my family at least 2x a year.
A lot of my decision would be based on the amt of support you receive from DH's company. What would be set up prior to your arrival (house, bank acct, car, etc.)? What support would you all receive once there? Would there be any kind of travel allowance (for either you to fly home or to fly family out there)? Would there be support on this end (helping you rent out your house/make mortgage payments, store furniture/car)?
DH and I have always been open to living internationally, mainly b/c my parents have said they would have nooooo problem coming to visit us in another country. However, Australia is an expensive visit! It's not like jumping on a plane to England.
Personally, I'd do it. It would be a hard choice, but if it was possible financially, it's not like that opportunity comes around often.
Oh that's awesome! I would jump on that.
Ok, so your questions. I might ramble on a bit here
Our situation - we moved away from our families in Michigan to Texas when Jakob was 5 years old, about to start kinder. I've never regretted it.
I like not having family around to help. I like that we figure this out, all on our own. I think it has made us better people and its definitely strengthened our marriage. The roughest days were back when we both worked full time. We were used to being able to call on my mom to pick Jakob up if we had to work late or if he was sick. But we were able to figure it out, it really isn't that bad. If we want a date night, we hire a babysitter. I trade off babysitting with friends if I have an appt or want to volunteer at school.
Jakob had a hard time adjusting but we had so much more going on. I think it would be much easier in this situation, you're already a strong family unit and its just one move.
Good luck deciding!
Well, being a major corp all of that would be taken care of by them, finding a house, passports, moving, including them paying for all of it. That is already in the deal. What he is negotiating right now is the type of hire he would have over there. Typically they do a country to country hire. You quite the US job and get rehired internationally. Which means when you come back to the US you start all over again.
He is negotiating for an ex-pat move. With this he would still be a US employee just working over there.
He is also trying to negotiate some other things that would include flying us back twice a year. I told him if they give him everything he asks for we are going! :P I just don't know how likely that is.
For me the hardest part about not having family close by is that we don't get a break. There's no just drop the kids off with Grandma for a regular date night or some kid-free time. In retrospect, it would have been a lot easier on us both if we'd found a regular babysitter a long time ago and made more of an effort to have some time just for ourselves, rather than trying to do it all on our own.
We see my mom several times a year, and DH's parents once a year, but they don't babysit.
If they meet your DH's demands, I'd do it. We moved twice when Meredith was a baby - once locally within Austin and once from NC to Austin. Obviously an international move would be much harder, but there are also plenty of US expats living in Australia, and there's probably a wealth of great advice online.
If you do it, I'd definitely hire a professional moving company with plenty of experience in international moves, and I'd let them pack everything for you because you will likely have to have every box labeled and a master manifest of everything you're taking for customs. I'd also view the move as an opportunity to clean stuff out and get rid of as much extraneous stuff as possible. Otherwise you'll have to either pay to move it or pay to store it.
For me, the biggest concerns would be our pets and our house: what are the rules for quarantining your pets when you bring them into Australia and later when you want to bring them back to the US? How hard will the trip be on them because that's a LONG flight for animals to be in a cargo hold. What are you going to do with the house - would you keep it and rent it out or try to sell it?
Before making a decision, I'd also look into practical things like can you use your US driver's license there? If not, what does it take to get an Australian license? Are you going to ship a vehicle there or buy or lease one there? How easy is it to open a bank account there? What is the housing market like? Where would A go to school?
We have friends from Ft. Worth who live in Taiwan, and they've lived overseas in China, Taiwan and Thailand for years. Both of their kids were born in Asia - one in China and one in Thailand. The big downside for them is obviously that they don't get to see their families as often as they'd like, but they love living in another country and being part of another culture. They've had a wonderful experience so far, and they feel it's been very good for their children to grow up with an intimate understanding of other countries, cultures and languages.
Meredith, 6-1-06 and Alex, 11-5-09
Gooooo.
I grew up with no family (grandparents, etc.) in town, so it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. We have no family here. Yeah, it's hard when we're both sick and we'd LOVE a break just to sleep and recuperate, but really those times are so temporary. With things like Skype and Facetime, your kids could still see their grandparents often. You'd just need to find a childcare person that you trust so that you would have someway of getting a break now and then.
How exciting!! I really hope it works out!
I would do it in a heartbeat as well. I think that as long as your kids aren't in middle school/high school it would be a pretty easy transition.
FWIW: I have a friend that just recently relocated to Perth with her DH & 18 month old son. If you'd like to chat with someone about the trials & tribulations of relocating with a family (and maybe get some tips, advice, etc.) let me know and I'll get you guys in touch.
McGee's advice sounds really good. I can't speak from any experience aside from just traveling or studying abroad in college, but I would go in a heartbeat (assuming they meet my demands).
When it comes to your animals, I'd definitely be sure to include their relocation in your request. A dear friend of mine works for P.et Re.location dot com (it's locally owned/run), and I'd be happy to put you in contact with her if you want to price that out. Just email me - mrs.wildman01 at gmail.com and I'll give you her info!
This.
I used to work for P e t Relocation dot com and I can speak highly of their work. It is VERY common for animal relocation to be included in a relo package... they deal with businesses all the time.
This is something I have been thinking a lot about lately. My DH is looking for a new job and we may have to move. I really dont want to move; but I think the opportunity to move to Australia is one I'm not sure I could pass up. I have a good friend whose sister moved to Melbourne for her husband's job. From talking with my friend she likes it there but the isolation has been hard on her. I think the biggest issue is that her husband is gone quite a bit so she is on her own. In addition, she went from a working mom to a stay at home mom. So she has been working really hard to make friends but she is shy and it has been hard on her. I think the other problem for her is she also was told only 2 years and his contract keeps getting extended. I dont think she regrets her decision; I just think she is realizing she needs to get out there and make a new life for herself. I think she probably gets family to visit 1-2 times a year. If I were you and the company met all our requirements and I had a pretty solid time frame in mind I would totally do it and just make sure to embrace the opportunity to travel and meet new people!
I also have a friend that I could get you in touch with - just moved from Atlanta to Sydney for a couple of years with their 2 kids. She's the nicest girl in the world and would probably love to give you her story and answer any questions about how their (large corporate) move went, how it is adjusting to life in australia with 2 kids, not having any family close, etc. They also lived in Germany for a short time with just 1 kid, but had been back in the states for about 2 years when they took this Sydney job.
I think it sounds like an amazing opportunity! Your kids are still pretty little, and kids are adaptable. One of my best friends has moved all over with her daughter (her DH is a pro athlete). They're currently in Kazakhstan, of all places, and doing really well.
I'm away from family part of the year (my parents winter in CA) and we were all the way across the country from them when we lived in Austin. We missed each other like crazy, but between Skype, phone calls, emails, and occasional visits ... you make it work.
Good luck with the decision!
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
You've already gotten great feedback. I only have one thing to add.
For me it would entirely depend on where in Australia. I've never been, but my understanding is that parts of it are just suburban sprawl. Australia recently surpassed us in having the world's hugest houses per capita of the McMansion variety. So if it were a place with strip malls and sprawl, I wouldn't go. If you're not working you might feel really isolated. If it were a cool city or town with cool landscape and opportunities to interact with local culture, do it! And go to New Zealand while you're there!
Going against the grain here, but I probably would not do it. If I were single or if it were just DH and I, I would def consider it. But not w/ my kids.
We JUST (last week) moved to TX from the Northeast, and while I know it takes a bit of time to adjust to a new place, we are having a hard time w/ the change. Especially my oldest. He's 3.5 and he's having a hard time expressing his feelings and he's sad. He talks about going home a lot. Its not been an easy week.
Anyway - knowing my kids, I'd probably not upset the apple cart like this. But my kids are sensitive and have some special needs and take a while to adjust to any upsets in routine. Stability is KEY in my house. I'd worry it'd take them longer to adjust then we'd live there!
Also - travel is one thing, moving is another. Our family loves to travel too, but moving is a whole different ballgame. Schools, daycares, academics, culture differences etc. All of those could be positives, but if they aren't you are stuck.
Also, its gonna be expensive. I imagine your DH will work in a nice package for relocation, but still you are going to have additional costs come up.
Good Luck w/ your decision!
I think pets are required to be quarantined anywhere from 3 to 30 days. The way I understand it, the more up to date they are on their shots, the less time they spend quarantined.
Oh - and yes, I'd go, no doubt.
Ditto. And I would try to make my parents promise to visit for a full month once a year or something
With this additional information...if they give him this, I would definitely take it!
The only thing not mentioned is something that slammed me about living here so far away from my family in California...
I moved here 4 1/2 years ago and I did not think about the health of my parents when I moved. I never thought of them as being "old" or capable of getting sick. In just 4 short years, I have lost my mother and my dad is sick...enough that I really need to be living there right now to help out, but I can't figure out how to "gracefully" get back. So, with that said, if your parents are in great health and you don't expect anything to happen to them in the near future where you can't readily get to them, then again, I would say, "SIGN ME UP!!""