If you had to give 3 tips/hints/words of advice to someone wishing to adopt

sugardumpling

what would it be?

 

 

Dr.Loretta

Make copies of EVERYTHING

Don't put your life on hold while waiting

It will change your life

Art Teacher

Dr.Loretta:

Make copies of EVERYTHING

Don't put your life on hold while waiting

It will change your life

I agree with these!

Also:

Be excited while you wait!  Do things to prepare for your baby.

Do fun things as a couple.

Seek out support - here, blogs, support groups, friends/family - it can be hard while you're waiting and it's good to know you're not alone!

noonecarewhoiam

1. Don't blindly follow your emotions--use your head! Know what you're really capable of handling (special needs, racial differences) and honest with yourself and your social worker. Don't let yourself get caught up in a situation you're not comfortable with, or emotionally tied to a child you don't think you can successfully parent.

2. It's not just about you. Think about the child you will be bringing into your family. Think about their ability to have near-daily contact with others who share their race, ethnicity and/or culture. Don't discount the greater extended family--you may be willing to shut grandparents out of your life, but you're also depriving your child of grandparents (and the child may blame themselves).

3. Hope for the best and expect the worst. Matches fail. Paperwork gets lost. No-one else has your adoption as their first priority.

4. Make plans. Dream. Register for gifts. Have a shower. Do all the things that other women do when they're pregnant. Do them with a glass of wine in your hand BECAUSE YOU CAN.

MrsKolasa

*Every day that you are waiting is bringing you one day closer to your baby. Disclaimer: I know how are that is to think about sometimes, but it really helped me on some bad days

*I'm with Dr.L on this one...MAKE COPIES of everything. Take notes about who you talked to and what was said when you make phone calls. Document, document, document. You'd be amazed how much easier it can make your life.

*Think of yourself as a pregnant woman (well, as much as you can anyway) That was my one issue with people in general. I felt very much like an expectant mother, but the world around me didn't see me that way. Treat yourself. Do things you would do if you knew that this was your last chance, pre-baby, to do it.

 

 

hereonceagain

All I can say is that the end result can exceed your wildest expectations by further than you can ever imagine.

nursesrh

Celebrate your decision to adopt! Be excited and share your decision.

Enjoy the journe! Hard to do, but know that the journey has a purpose.

And know that someone is watching your journey as thet contemplate their own. I have been so overwhelmed by the number of women that have inquired about how they can start their own adoption journey.

SweetieBelle04

I definitely agree with the tip to make copies and take notes of every conversation.  Remember that no one cares as much about your adoption as you do.  Caseworkers can be very understanding and caring, but they don't care as much as you do.

I would also say to make sure that you are ready before you take the leap.  If you are moving on to adoption after dealing with infertility, work through any issues you might have about not carrying the baby and giving birth.  Adopting a baby will not "heal" every hurt that you have from infertility, and it's not fair to put those kind of expectations on your child.  Don't go into it expecting to heal during your wait - you will probably have a bit of a wait, but you can get placed right away and need to be ready for that.  Take some time to nurture your marriage and get excitied about your adoption, then go for it!

mommytoconnor

I would agree with making copies of everything and take notes.  I would also say to be proud of your decision to adopt, don't hide it.  Share with people and be excited.  Be patient with the wait, easier said than done I know.  Take the help when people offer it and enjoy every second.

kellz

I agree with all the above, ESPECIALLY about no one else has it as their top priority but YOU and your family.  So my tip, along with what everyone else said, is to BUG THE SW!!!  They would hate to hear me say that, but if nothing else it at least gives you piece of mind : )

sugardumpling

thank you so much ladies.  i really appreciate your responses.

bumpuser794640

sugardumpling:

thank you so much ladies.  i really appreciate your responses.

Me, too!

CaptainSerious

kellz:

So my tip, along with what everyone else said, is to BUG THE SW!!!  They would hate to hear me say that, but if nothing else it at least gives you piece of mind : )

I HUGELY agree with this!  I so often see people ask if they should contact their sw, or worried that their sw will do something to slow their process if they are too much of a pain.  But here's the thing--the sw works for you!  It's their job to field all your questions and concerns.  And, if you really are driving them insane, they'll likely help you get through the process faster, if they can, just to get your caseload off their desk!  ;-P*  J/k with that last part, of course.