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August 2011 Moms
NotSharknado
member
Funny Labor and Delivery stories?
NotSharknado
member
There's a marathon of last season's One Born Every Minute on and it cracks me up every time. Does anyone have any funny or embarassing stories?
As for me every time I was checked for dilation I tooted a little::puts head down in shame::
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Funny Labor and Delivery stories?
I think my best one happened with the family in the waiting room. I've posted it before, but I will post again.
XHs mom was determined to be the first one to know when DS was born. She was so sure that XH would call her immediately. XH and I had our cell phones and we posted when DS was born on Facebook, before we called in the family. My brother, being a smart one, had his laptop with him and took advantage of free wifi. While waiting, he saw that we posted this and announced it. XHs mom was none too thrilled and I was laughing when he told me that story later.
Oh! Wait, I do have one! I had been given my epidural 2 hrs earlier and was sleeping. The nurse came in and woke me up because DS kept moving away from the monitors each contraction. So she wanted to do internal monitoring. She got everything prepped and when she went to attach them, she realized DS's head was RIGHT THERE. Cue calling the doctor and getting me in postion ASAP. At least I got my nap. Less than an hour later, I was holding DS.
Um...my SO playing X-box and while I was having contractions was pretty annoying. Him nearly passing out during delivery was funny though
The nurse was like, "if you pass out we're just gonna step over you or on you if we have to, so try to pass out over on the couch"
It was about 7 am and I had been in active labor for more then 24 hours. I had my epidural and was groggy to say the least. It was just DW and I in our room and DD's Godmother came in to see how we were doing. Not long after she came in, I sat up in bed and looked at DW and said " OMG IM GONNA PUKE! GET ME A BAG!!!" So im gagging and have vomit in my mouth (yuck!) and she is racing around trying to find the barf bag. She finally finds it and I proceed to projectile vomit into the bag.
DD's godmother took one look at me and said " Ok, well ill come back later then"
I was so embarrassed!
When I was in labor all of the midwives and nurses kept asking me if this baby "felt bigger or smaller" compared to my DD. I finally snapped at one of them and said, "Isn't that supposed to be your job to tell me?" He was 8lbs 15oz.
I threw a pillow at my support person.
I told the anesthesiologist that I hated her.
After I got the epidural I knew I was complete in an hour because DS's internal monitor was wiggling all over the place and I could feel him down there. I told my support person and then told her I wasn't ready to tell anyone. I really wanted a nap. When the new midwife on call came in an hour later to check me she barely stuck her hand in before she announced, "Oh my goodness. We're having a baby right now! Let me go get someone!" He slid out in 6 minutes.
My labor was fast and furious...I had so much pressure on my bladder that I walked into the L&D lobby and peed on the floor. Woops.
Then when I actually pushed I yelled "OH DAMN, THAT'S THE RING OF FIRE THEY TALK ABOUT."
And..I finished by apologizing to the doctor who delivered my baby for waking him up in the middle of the night.
I went in for Cervadil to start my labor, and fell asleep for the night before contractions were to start. About 30 mins into trying to relax and sleep, I hear a woman screaming bloody murder down the hallway "OOOHHH MY GOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!" followed by a bunch of other things. My plan was to go natural, so I turn to DH and say "That's encouraging...". The nurse explained she had a super fast labor and didn't get any meds.
Well, 13 hours later after no pain meds or epidural, I became that lady. I kept apologizing for all the yelling/screaming I was doing during contractions and transition. The nurses were fine, but they all thought I was a psycho for not taking anything since I delivered in a busy teaching hospital, I was the oddball lol.
With DD (#1)
I told my mom I couldn't believe that she didn't have an epidural with any of her kids and that was really a dumb choice.
I sent DH to get lunch because I was only at 5 cm. Then the nurse came to place my catheter (because of my epidural) and couldn't get it in because her head was there. DH had just ordered his lunch so I was calling him saying Um come back because I am at 10 and need to push now!
With DS
My sister was there and I am pretty sure she was traumatized. She was 5 months pregnant at the time and found out it was twins just 9 days later. Her face was so funny to watch! My other sister thought it was the coolest thing ever. She's almost 17 and wants to go into medicine.
When they told me his weight I freaked out. (9lbs .4 oz) My doctor (the on call one) said that she knew he was bigger than I thought, but wasn't going to tell me until after he was born.
Pushing hurt pretty bad for me and after an hour I was way over it. I pushed and the nurse said, "he's right there, keep going!" and I started screaming "pull him out!"
When DS was crowning I screamed over and over, "it burns!"
I did a hole lot of screaming and yelling while giving birth. I apologized to the nurses after and they said I scared three other women who were there. Oops!
When my water broke in the middle of the night at 37 weeks instead of calling the Dr or my mom to come out to stay with my daughter I called my friend, who happens to be on this board since we were due 1 day apart, and talked to her until my contractions started! Then I called my mom and woke my husband up!
When I got to the hospital I was 5-6 cm dilated and asked for an epideral, they called the anestesiologist to come in but by the time he got there (10 minutes later) I was 9 cm and they said it was too late, I cried!
As soon as he came out, the first thing I said was "Oh ***, that hurt!"
Haha, these made me laugh! Mine aren't that funny...
Right smack dab in the middle of my epidural I had to puke. I yelled, "I'm going to be sick, I'm going to be sick!" Well the nurse couldn't find one of those emesis bags or whatever, and I puked in a garbage can. DH was worried I was going to puke on him since I was leaning on him at the time.
When the baby was born it was on my chest for about 20 seconds while the nurses wiped it off and cut the cord, and then they took it over to the infant bed under the heat lamp (there was meconium when my water broke). I asked DH, "What did we have?" (We were team green.) He said he didn't know and looked at the doctor and nurse who delivered. They said they didn't know either, and looked at the nurses over with the baby. We had a girl.
My labor went from 0 to 150 in a matter of minutes so I was super unprepared. I was eating dinner and then BAM I was in full on labor. I didn't pay attention during the baby class about when to go to the hospital because I thought I would have all sorts of time. I was literally on my hands and knees in labor reading through my class notes on when to call the hospital. I was having contractions every 30 seconds...yeah...it was time to go!
When we got there the nurses at check in thought I was a total baby and made me wait in the waiting room that was full of another family. It was super embarrassing because I was on my hands and knees in the waiting room while a room full of Indian men were trying to avert their eyes. They finally took me back and wanted me to pee in a cup and wash up so I did while in tears because I wanted to lay down so bad. The lady was super rude thinking I was just being a baby until she checked me and I was at 8. They forced me to put on these stupid socks before I could go into the labor room and were all crazy about the socks. She kept trying to force them on my feet but I was having contractions so close together that I really didn't want to be touched. The minute I got in the room I ripped them off. I was so over those socks. I ended up only being in labor for under 4 hours, 1 on the way to the hospital, 1 waiting for them to believe that I was in active labor, 1 in the water bath, and then 1 pushing. So fast and crazy.
My water never broke on its own and they were waiting to break is so that I could get as much antibiotics in me as possible. The midwife finally decided to break my water and when she did, there was so much pressure that it literally hit the back wall of the room as it broke and there was a huge gush of water across the floor. It even sprayed the row of NICU nurses that were in there waiting for the baby. My mom was trying to find extra towels to dry up the floor because she was afraid someone was going to slip and fall.
I was also yelling at the midwife "Get it out! Get it out!" and then the second she would try to reach for the baby I would yell "Don't touch me!"
This made me LOL.
Well the start of it all my water broke at work. I was sitting at the front desk ( I work at a dr office) I was going to run to the back for something I stand up and ALLLLLLLL OVER! That was fun! Yes I work at a dr office but we are ortho so it was a mad house.
I was going to try to go without any meds or anything at least give it a try...well I desided I wanted pain meds and no idea what they gave me but everyone said I was quite the clown. Everyone said they could tell when I was having a contraction, I would close my eyes and put my head down. Wiggle my toes till I was done, look up and say okay I am good now. I guess from whatever one told me it was pretty funny.
I forgot about the lady next door she came in after me and was yelling, cussing. I looked up and said WTF okay I am done I want to go home. The nurse told me that this was her 3rd child and she did not have time for pain meds. I didn't care scared the *** out of me!
My son was 4 weeks early and I knew he was going to be smal. (4lbs 11 ounces to be exact). I had been in labor(dilated and effaced since 26 weeks-spent a week in the hospital at 26 weeks) so we knew baby could come any day.
Well at 36 weeks exactly I went to the hospital because my pelvic area hurt so bad. Got there and the doctor said you are having a baby today I need to break your water..my response was...I am going to need an hour to get family on the road first lol.
Well and hour later he came in to break my water and 30 minutes later my son was born. No drugs no nothing. It hurt so bad that at one point I literally took one of my legs off of the sturups so they had to get my mil and husband to each hold a leg and my mom to help prop me up because instead of pushing i was just screaming
DD was our second pregnancy and second trip to the same hospital so we were much more relaxed this time around.
My water broke and I was shocked to find out that you continue to leak (gush in my case). The nurse gave me the mesh boxer briefs to wear as I wanted to walk. I didn't realize the nurse was still in the room when I came out of the bathroom at which time I announced "check me out, I am sexy" with DH responding "I'd do ya" The nurse had a good laugh adding "that's how you got here in the first place."
When it came time to push I could not feel my left leg. Apparently he didn't take me seriously as I ended up just missing his head .
The highlight of our hospital experience was after DD was born. All I wanted was a sub sandwich and a glass of wine. In the midst of savoring my glass of wine ( I was not on any pain medication) a nurse walked in and gave us quite the glare.I didn't realize that she left the room and called my OB. The next morning before leaving the room my OB trying not to laugh told us that subs were fine but to lay off the liquor otherwise I would be back in 9 months. When we got home from the hospital we sent him a bottle of champagne as a thank you
I was standing through contractions and was somewhere between a 6 and 10 (turned out I was at a 10), when I had a monster contraction and yelled "I GOTTA POOOOP!" Turned out I really needed to push!
I also got a charlie horse about 2 minutes after DD was born. The midwife had just finished my stitches and I think everyone thought I was freaking out because they hurt, but my leg was cramping up and I couldn't reach it to massage it out!