Anyone Not Sleep Training?

JMU_Bride09

I still nurse DS to sleep and am not comfortable with the idea of CIO. I'm toying with the idea of not sleep training, but I have no idea how that'll work out when we wean. Does anyone have any experience with not sleep training older LOs or have plans to not sleep train a May baby?

Lisa Frank

If things are going well for you now, and you and baby are content, don't push something you aren't comfortable with.  Most people that sleep train have a reason to be doing so.  

Keep on, keepin' on!

However, don't close yourself off from the idea. Healthy sleep habits are important. 

elisbu

I'm not. While the sleep would be nice, I realized that I am holding onto to way too much guilt from the NICU and I am not ready yet.
I may never be ready, hopefully she'll start to do it on her own before I have to make that choice because the pedi and DH are on my case about it!

oooCarrieB

I'm not ready to give up the 3am nursing yet. As a working mom, I'm a sucker for the little extra snuggle time with my baby. 

If she was waking up every two hours or not going to bed easily, then it would be a different story.  

pinkflipflops44

We've not sleep trained, but I do let her fuss and cry every now and then.  She wakes up one or two times a night.  I also put her down awake unless on the off chance she's fallen asleep nursing.

kerrbear72

I'm not because I'm lazy and still haven't managed to properly educate myself on the different types of sleep training. I am not OK with CIO. 

Part of me says that since I'm a SAHM, I should just STFU and let him do what he wants since I don't have to get up for work but the other part of me says that I really want sleep and I don't want him being a crappy sleeper for the rest of his life. 

Eh, we'll see.

 

everam01

I am with one and not with the other. Sounds strange, but E only wakes up once a night and is hungry so I feed him. N was waking up every couple of hours to fuss and cry and would scream every time we tried to put him in his crib, so we did some graduated crying. He now only wakes up once or twice, but when he does he still cries after he is fed and put back in the crib, but usually for 5 minutes or less before he goes to sleep.

 

kewltif

You certainly don't HAVE to sleep train, now or with an older child.

I think the biggest thing that pushed me to do sleep training was talking to people I knew who had older kids who said, "Don't do what I did! My kid was still waking up at night for years!"

The sleep issues don't usually magically disappear once they hit a certain age. I think it's different to have a baby who wakes up once, downs a bottle, and falls right back asleep. That child might just suddenly stop waking one night. I'm talking more about babies who chronically wake. My cousin was 5 years old and still waking up for a nightly glass of water that my aunt had to hand deliver. When my aunt looks back on those years it's not a fond memory of snuggle time, but more of a war story of the years she spent waking up at 3 am to get water and get my cousin back to sleep, half the time passing out in her bed with her. 

I think it really comes down to the personality type of the parents and how much you can take. From what I have heard it is MUCH harder to sleep train an older child. Another cousin of mine did Ferber with a 14 month old who still woke several times a night. It took 4 hours of crying the first night and continued for at least a couple of hours a night for a few weeks!

iris427

kewltif:

You certainly don't HAVE to sleep train, now or with an older child.

I think the biggest thing that pushed me to do sleep training was talking to people I knew who had older kids who said, "Don't do what I did! My kid was still waking up at night for years!"

The sleep issues don't usually magically disappear once they hit a certain age. I think it's different to have a baby who wakes up once, downs a bottle, and falls right back asleep. That child might just suddenly stop waking one night. I'm talking more about babies who chronically wake. My cousin was 5 years old and still waking up for a nightly glass of water that my aunt had to hand deliver. When my aunt looks back on those years it's not a fond memory of snuggle time, but more of a war story of the years she spent waking up at 3 am to get water and get my cousin back to sleep, half the time passing out in her bed with her. 

I think it really comes down to the personality type of the parents and how much you can take. From what I have heard it is MUCH harder to sleep train an older child. Another cousin of mine did Ferber with a 14 month old who still woke several times a night. It took 4 hours of crying the first night and continued for at least a couple of hours a night for a few weeks!

Yep.

Kids who nurse to sleep don't reach an age where they just outgrow that sleep association.  Some might, but many do not.  I know people who were still nursing their 2 year olds to sleep, at bedtime and multiple times each night, every night. But children won't nurse forever.  It's not a sustainable parenting technique in the long run.  So to me, sleep-training is not just about getting a good night's sleep now, but giving your child the tools to have good, life-long sleep habits.

For example, I never stopped nursing my daughter to sleep for naps.  So when she weaned as a 2 year old, she stopped napping completely.  There are days where she is a total wreck and I know she just needs a good nap, and it's still a huge struggle to this day.  

I refused to sleep train my daughter for a long time because I thought it was horrible.  Finally I realized that her bad sleep habits weren't going to just go away.  If I wanted either of us to get a decent amount of sleep, I needed to make a big change.  Her first year could have been much happier for both of us if I hadn't bought into the idea that sleep training is cruel--because it's really not.  

I guess my point is that you should do what you are comfortable with. But don't write sleep training off completely.  You may reach a point where the current situation just isn't working anymore, and I don't want you to feel guilty or like you're a bad parent if it comes down to some CIO.

deo

I haven't done any official sleep training.   I bought a book and started to read it (happy sleep habits, happy child)  but I haven't done anything about it.

I nursed my LO to sleep for pretty much every nap and at bedtime up until about a week ago.  It was just easier for me since I am with him 99% of the time. Reading all the sleep training posts on here and hearing stories from other moms made me feel guilty for it. I felt like my baby should be able to put himself to sleep because that's what everyone else was trying to do.  So every once in awhile I would try putting him in his crib drowsy but awake and that would just escalate into screaming within minutes and no amount of shhhing and back rubbing would calm him down. He won't take a pacifier.

 Then last week he started looking drowsy after eating his morning cereal,  so I just rocked him for a few minutes just to see what happens and he fell asleep with out a boob in his mouth. Yeah!   The next nap I tried it again, and he fell asleep again with just being rocked.  So from that point on I just cut off the nursing to sleep cold turkey for both naps and bedtime.   We've had a few rough times but I've stuck with it. I nurse him in a different room and then move to his room to rock him to sleep.  

So he's still not putting himself to sleep, but I am happy that we just broke the nursing to sleep habit.  He is sleeping better now and even DH has been able to put him to sleep.   I really think we just lucked out that DS was ready.

CanuckFan03

iris427:

kewltif:

You certainly don't HAVE to sleep train, now or with an older child.

I think the biggest thing that pushed me to do sleep training was talking to people I knew who had older kids who said, "Don't do what I did! My kid was still waking up at night for years!"

The sleep issues don't usually magically disappear once they hit a certain age. I think it's different to have a baby who wakes up once, downs a bottle, and falls right back asleep. That child might just suddenly stop waking one night. I'm talking more about babies who chronically wake. My cousin was 5 years old and still waking up for a nightly glass of water that my aunt had to hand deliver. When my aunt looks back on those years it's not a fond memory of snuggle time, but more of a war story of the years she spent waking up at 3 am to get water and get my cousin back to sleep, half the time passing out in her bed with her. 

I think it really comes down to the personality type of the parents and how much you can take. From what I have heard it is MUCH harder to sleep train an older child. Another cousin of mine did Ferber with a 14 month old who still woke several times a night. It took 4 hours of crying the first night and continued for at least a couple of hours a night for a few weeks!

Yep.

Kids who nurse to sleep don't reach an age where they just outgrow that sleep association.  Some might, but many do not.  I know people who were still nursing their 2 year olds to sleep, at bedtime and multiple times each night, every night. But children won't nurse forever.  It's not a sustainable parenting technique in the long run.  So to me, sleep-training is not just about getting a good night's sleep now, but giving your child the tools to have good, life-long sleep habits.

For example, I never stopped nursing my daughter to sleep for naps.  So when she weaned as a 2 year old, she stopped napping completely.  There are days where she is a total wreck and I know she just needs a good nap, and it's still a huge struggle to this day.  

I refused to sleep train my daughter for a long time because I thought it was horrible.  Finally I realized that her bad sleep habits weren't going to just go away.  If I wanted either of us to get a decent amount of sleep, I needed to make a big change.  Her first year could have been much happier for both of us if I hadn't bought into the idea that sleep training is cruel--because it's really not.  

I guess my point is that you should do what you are comfortable with. But don't write sleep training off completely.  You may reach a point where the current situation just isn't working anymore, and I don't want you to feel guilty or like you're a bad parent if it comes down to some CIO.

 These.  A friend of mine has a two and a half year old who still gets up several times a night, and now needs mommy or daddy to come sleep with him so he goes to sleep.  Her 7 month old baby looks to be heading the same way. She's getting a couple hours of sleep a night, and no longer sleeps with her DH at night. This alone showed me that I would rather deal with it now. Kids are a lot more stubborn the older they get, and it'll be even harder then.  I'll take my well rested baby any day  I do think you have to be comfortable with the method you choose.  I also don't think its as bad or as hard as you think its going to be. 

MarJo03

I'm not okay with CIO, we still nurse to sleep too. Yet, I am sleep training. I read the No Cry Sleep Solution, and for us it was the right option. We're happy nursing to sleep, but she's now starting to learn to put herself back to sleep once she slightly wakes up in the night. She will let others rock her to sleep too, if I'm not home.

If nursing to sleep is still working for you now, that's great. We're still doing it too, because it makes both of us happy right now. I just want to make sure you know there are other options out there besides CIO, or deal with it.

happybride14

kerrbear72:

I'm not because I'm lazy and still haven't managed to properly educate myself on the different types of sleep training. I am not OK with CIO. 

Part of me says that since I'm a SAHM, I should just STFU and let him do what he wants since I don't have to get up for work but the other part of me says that I really want sleep and I don't want him being a crappy sleeper for the rest of his life. 

Eh, we'll see.

 

this exactly! 

eawebster

We haven't done sleep training and don't really think we'll need to. DD takes a bottle before bed. Usually she falls asleep at the end, but if not I can still put her down in her crib and she'll fall asleep shortly there after with minimal fuss. She doesn't usually wake up in the middle of the night, but every once and a while lately she will. I know it's because she's cutting her top two teeth, so I give in and give her a small bottle to help soothe her back to sleep.

 

Naps are a different story. She's always been a tough napper and pretty much won't nap at home unless she has a bottle to fall asleep. I work so I'm not 100% sure how she goes down at the sitter's, but I know she fights it hard there too. I know we'll have to work at it as she's getting older, but I wouldn't consider it 'sleep training.' 

LMBecky11

I also nurse DD to sleep and I don't like CIO either. I am not planning on sleep training necessarily. I am going to try to cut back on her night time eating a bit though. But that is just because I am pretty sure she is kind of using nursing as a security thing and not actually hungry sometimes at night.

SC1977

We're not sleep training. Yet. I read The No Cry Sleep Solution and one of these days we'll probably start using some of her techniques.  I nurse him to sleep most nights but he doesn't NEED me in order to fall asleep.  The issue is when he wakes up in the middle of the night. We bed share and as soon as he stirs he makes a beeline for my boobs and nurses till he's back asleep. That's not going to fly forever, so we need to work on that. Soon. Or eventually. Right now I'm just too lazy to bother.