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My Poor Heart

Petunia844Petunia844 member
in Late Term and Child Loss
Sometimes I wonder how much sadness our hearts can take... so many people tell me how "strong" I am...and you all know that we feel anything but strong.  I feel like any day now my heart won't be able to take it. There is a beautiful walkway from my office that overlooks the ocean...before I was pregnant it was my jogging route.  Peyton and I took countless walks along that path, me with a huge grin on my face rubbing my growing belly... well today I went for a jog for the first time on that path again.  My heart aches for him... so very much. 
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Married the love of my life 7/11/09 - Our first baby, Peyton Mark, was born sleeping 10/25/11 at 33 weeks - Our second baby, BFP 2/4/12, welcome to the world Raylan! Holy Moly, BPF 2/4/14, please be safe and sound little one!

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Re: My Poor Heart

  • HeatherhahHeatherhah member
    So sorry!! HUGS!! You are not alone in your heartache today has been terrible for me as well. Here is hoping tomorrow is a little better for us both!
    DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PGAL buddy drvst8
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  • rvandiver0705rvandiver0705 member
    I felt that way too for months after Bryce's death.  I still feel that way at times, but I feel like my heart has gotten "stronger".  Yours will too.  I hope you had a nice jog, and were able to enjoy yourself a little.
    BFP #1 - Twin B lost at 5w
    Bryce Addison  I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
    Our baby boy was born sleeping on 9.17.10. He was 19w1d.
    BFP #2 - Twin B lost at 4w
    Twin A
    image
    BFP #3 - Lost at 5w
    BFP #4 - Lost at 4w
    BFP #5
    image


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  • weddedwifeweddedwife member
    All the "firsts" after a loss are so heartbreaking. I can't help but think "this is the first time I have ______ (fill in the blank) since we lost Nathaniel" for even silly little things.
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • roxyttandmeroxyttandme member

    I am so sorry too, hun. Those days will become more and more far and few between as time goes on. I promise. We have all been there. 

    (((hugs))) 

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  • Auki13Auki13 member
    I am so sorry, I totally understand how you feel.  I think the most surprising trigger for me was when I went to the Y for my first class back since I had Annabelle. When the class started all I could think was the last time I was here I was 7 weeks pregnant and oblivious at the route the pregnancy would take.  It was really hard for me to continue with the class, but I stuck with it and was proud of myself for finishing that night.  Hopefully that route will bring back your happy pregnancy memories someday and you can jog that was with a smile on your face remembering that happiness. (((HUGS)))
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • CaroleeCarolee member
    (((HUGS)))
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
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  • krysiahamatykrysiahamaty
    Big huge hugs! I know that it's so hard and people think we are strong just because we get through the days. But you're right, our chests hurt from the pain we feel.
    TTC since November 2009. DH diagnosed with sperm antibodies. IUI #1 = BFN IUI #2 = BFN On the road to IVF.... Egg Retrieval Jan 21, 2011 16 eggs retrieved Egg transfer Jan 26, 2011 Only 2 viable eggs transferred. 1 IVF, 1 ICSI IVF #1 = BFP :-) 10/3/11 No heart beat at 38 weeks: Our baby Jack became an angel 12/14/11 = natural BFP Rainbow baby Samantha Jacklyn born8/8/12. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • butterfly843butterfly843
    ((hugs))

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

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  • pb127pb127 member

    Big (((HUGS)))  I hope none of us ever have anymore heartache. We've all already had a lifetime's worth.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    ? to Loss+M/PL+TTCAL+PgAL+PAL

    PgAL/PAL welcome
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  • starrkitten89starrkitten89
    (((Hugs)))

    Lilypie - (yNYF)

    Lilypie - (bSes)

    T1 diabetes diagnosed 11/95 due to severe pancreatic injury
    BFP 1 1/22/10 EDD 9/30/10 Adria b. 9/11/10 d.8/9/11, Transposition of the Great Arteries,
    Pleural effusion, Kidney Failure
    BFP 2 4/26/12 EDD 1/3/13 M/C 5/13/12
    BFP 3 10/3/12 EDD 6/17/13 Twins! Preston and Juliet b. 5/22/13

     

     

     

     

     

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