re-intro and help with sleep issues

jerseygirl81

Hi everyone! I'm an old nestie, but I haven't been very active on the national boards in a really long time. My son Charlie is 3, and nighttime is a complete disaster for us these days.

He hasn't STTN since before we left to visit the ILs for thanksgiving. Bedtime is a multi-hour struggle. We go through our routine and then there are potty trips and light switch changes and tissue needs and help getting under the covers (all of which he can do on his own between the hours of 7AM and 8PM without any trouble). Once he falls asleep, he's up about every 90 minutes, for the same reasons - potty trips, tissues, etc. I don't think it's night terrors, because he's not sitting there screaming, he's whining and getting out of bed and coming down the hall to our room. I just don't know what to do.

So far we've tried rewards in the mornings, letting him pick out a "big kid nightlight" to replace the smaller one he already had, and stickers.

I haven't slept more than 3 hours in weeks, and I'm losing my mind.

Any suggestions or thoughts?

kmhunt11

DD gets 1 potty break at bedtime, and 1 during the night.  I go to her door 1 time and firmly say "You've already gone, you don't need to go again, go to sleep."  Other than that we ignore the behavior.  I don't open the door or give her attention in any way because that's what she wants.  She knows crying, etc won't work, so she doesn't try anymore.  Each kid is different and they'll go through phases, so hopefully it'll pass soon!

Dreamsicle23

You keep indulging his every whim.  Make sure the room is safe, and put a child proof cover on the inside knob or put a gate up, and let him freak out until he goes to sleep.  Give ONE pass for a potty trip...just one.  He can't play games with you if you son't play along.

jerseygirl81

Dreamsicle23:

You keep indulging his every whim.  Make sure the room is safe, and put a child proof cover on the inside knob or put a gate up, and let him freak out until he goes to sleep.  Give ONE pass for a potty trip...just one.  He can't play games with you if you son't play along.

 

We don't indulge his every whim, we don't give in at all, except for 1 or 2 overnight potty trips, depending on the circumstance.

I guess I just feel weird about locking him in his room. Ideally, I'd want to work toward him getting himself out of bed, going potty, and getting back in bed without waking us up. He walks right past the bathroom to get to our room. He goes by himself every other time, just not at night.

cecee36

I read dreamsicle's post about you indulging his every whim and while you say you don't, there has to be something that you're doing (or not doing) that's making him get up.  My husband would tell me the same thing because we had similar issues (and still do from time to time) with our daughter.  She always needs one more hug or one sip of water or one more book.  I've streamlined the bedtime routine to include 3 books, 2 kisses and 1 big hug.  I leave her door open but turn off the lights and leave her with her nightlight on and a flashlight.  She also gets 1 book to look through quietly until she falls asleep completely.  That is usually successful most nights of the week.  She rarely wakes up in the middle of the night except for bathroom trips and we assist her with those.  We help her, tuck her back in with a kiss and she's good until morning.  

Getting to this point took ALOT of work and it was alot of trial and error.  We had to find out what worked best for us and for her and I had to make some changes to my approach with bedtime.  My husband travels often for work so having him look at the routine from an outside perspective helped alot.  I'll gladly take waking up once every few weeks (or even months) over waking up all night every night the way we used to.  Try to pinpoint exactly where you're "indulging" him and put your foot down.  Once you do, customize the bedtime routine to what works best for him and for you.  You all need a good night's sleep!  Good luck! 

C.squared

Is he still napping?  Cutting out DD's nap has made her bedtime A THOUSAND times better (she was doing the same things).  It was rough for a few days, but it seriously is so much less stressful for all of us now.  DD also has night terrors and those haven't necessarily stopped, but those are different than the perpetual stalling and trying not to go to sleep.