Where are my friends?

weddedwife

And family?? It's been over a month now. No one is calling, or emailing, or even sending anything on facebook. I feel like I don't exist anymore. We've received only one sympathy card. I've never felt so alone. If it wasn't for this board, I'd think I was going insane.

dandywarhol

It is similar here.  There was a great outpouring of support at the beginning but now it is only my immediate family and one friend who talks to me about Sylvie and about how we are feeling.  If I post something on FB, people do chime in with their support but few to none do or say anything without prompting.  

I guess everyone else is just wrapped up in their life. 

SockMonkeySam

((HUGS)) I still have people in my life who will not even talk about the twins. I have friends who pretended they never happened. I relized people like that I don't need in my life if they were that wrapped up in their own views of things.

 

starrkitten89

(((Hugs))) I think sometimes people believe they are doing the right thing by leaving you alone.I hope that this changes soon.Maybe call a friend for a little coffee date and let them know that you miss going out,etc.

magdalina.h

Losing Aidan has shown me who my true friends are. Some of them really surprise me by never talking about him and others ask me on a daily basis about him.

Petunia844

I'm so sorry. ((hugs)) I do have a few good friends that when I saw them, didn't bring Peyton up at all, I just started bringing him up. I realized that most of them do want to talk about him if I bring him up, but they don't want to upset me by asking about him.  Yesterday, for example, when I brought him up to one of my best friend's who had just been acting like nothing happened she talked to me for a long time and she got very emotional.  I know we want them to be able to read our minds, but our loved ones just don't know what to do.  I hope you can get the support you want from them, and if not you know we're always here.

weddedwife

lissasue3:

If I remember correctly you had asked them to leave you alone for a bit?  Have you reached out to them yet?  They're probably respecting your wishes and waiting to hear from you.  I apologize if you had updated and I didn't see it.

You are right, I did. I guess I was silly to think they'd just "come around" eventually. I just don't know what to do to- I feel awkward coming out and saying, "OK please comfort me now". IDK what to do.

krysiahamaty

Oh I am so sorry. I hate that. There are only a few people who still check in and ask how we are doing. I personally don't care and I post things on facebook status. I write quotes, say I miss Jack, etc and people KNOW I'm still grieving.

Hugs and know we are ALWAYS here for you. No matter how much time goes by.

AmyG2b

I'm sorry, that is hard. We are here for you. Are there any friends or family you feel comfortable opening up to? Can you let them know you need them now? Sometimes telling people what you need from them is the only way to really be understood. So many people have no clue what to do.

butterfly843

Sending lots of hugs your way. I really discovered who were my true friends after losing my twins. I was shocked of how many people I've known since elementary school never mentioned my loss or asked how I was doing.

pb127

weddedwife:

lissasue3:

If I remember correctly you had asked them to leave you alone for a bit?  Have you reached out to them yet?  They're probably respecting your wishes and waiting to hear from you.  I apologize if you had updated and I didn't see it.

You are right, I did. I guess I was silly to think they'd just "come around" eventually. I just don't know what to do to- I feel awkward coming out and saying, "OK please comfort me now". IDK what to do.

Butting in... I send update emails once in a while to people I'm really close to. Something like "I know it has been a while since you heard from us and I thought I'd send an update. We are managing and getting through our grief day by day. These days DH is doing A and I am doing B. We're hoping to Y in a few months. Hope everyone is doing well."  It lets people know I'm up for emails and I usually get back to getting regular ones after that (I've done this after each loss).

Big (((hugs))) I know how lonely it can be.

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