Intro

Leipock

The Friday before Thanksgiving my DH came home from work and handed me divorce papers. It was a complete shock and threw me for a loop. He wanted me to sign the papers immediately and have the divorce finalized before he gets ready to deploy in a couple months. I refused and moved me, our son(2), and our daughter(6 months) 3 hours away to live with my parents. We have since settled on finances for the next year as I refuse to get a divorce until he returns from his deployment so that I still have medical coverage until I can get a job. While I am still very heart broken about his decision, I am strangely at peace with it. I am just trying to get back on my feet and make a life for me and my children. I am looking for a job since I was a stay at home mother and had no income. I still have moments where I want to break down, but my babies keep me going.  

mldain

Did he give you a reason why he served you those papers?

DaringMiss

Obviously, don't sign ANYTHING until you have a lawyer review it.  His version of the divorce paperwork could place limits on where you can move, what you are entitled to in terms of his retirement and other financial issues.  If he is dropping this bomb *and* trying to make you sign HIS paperwork in one fell swoop, there has to be something going on.   Does he have a lover?  Why does he want this done so quickly?

Take your time, get all of your questions answered by an attorney and tell your soon-to-be-ex he can wait until you are damn good and ready to divorce him.

DaringMiss

The first thought that went through my head is that he is having an affair with a fellow military personnel and wants divorce papers signed to avoid problems with his command.

Leipock

I talked to a lawyer last Friday. He answered all of my questions and made me feel alot better about things. Basically because of the military I have tons of options. I can't prove it but I feel like there is someone else. But honestly it doesn't matter because it won't change things. I will never take him back. The thing that hurts the most is the way he did it and that our children will never know what it is like to have two parents together. Plus our son adores him and now he won't have Daddy in his life like before, since we will be living three hours apart. 

Leipock

His reason was that he wasn't happy being married anymore. That this had been coming for two years. We had had some issues but nothing more than what most couples go through. He has PTSD from his last deployment and isn't right in the head. While that may explain his thinking it doesn't make what he did right. 

USMCPurpleHeart

So sorry to hear! Stay strong!