Pregnant after IF

IF has made me a pessimist!

I go in for my 2nd u/s tomorrow (6w5d) and I hate that I'm not excited, because I'm so worried there won't be a heartbeat. IF has me ALWAYS waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

 

Vent over. :) 

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Re: IF has made me a pessimist!

  • I was 100% expecting bad news at my early u/s.  I was actually shocked when the news was good, so I totally understand.  Good luck!


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  • I'm totally with you.  I wish it was easier to enjoy this... I want to be SO HAPPY, but in reality I'm just SO SCARED.  GL - I hope you get fantastic news tomorrow.
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
    Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
    Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
     image
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  • I'm the exact same way. My second beta is tomorrow and I'm so nervous it will be bad news. I have no reason to think this except for the fact that this is the first time thing have actually gone right. It's going to be a looooooong 9 months (God willing). 
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic TTC since Jan 2009. 3 failed IUIs (Clomid + Ovidril) IVF#1 November. (11/16 ER; 11/21 5dt of 2 1AA embies) Beta #1 12/1: 137 BFP!! Beta #2 12/5: 639
  • Me too! Though, I think I am a bit of a pessimist anyway. I am also nervous, worried, etc for my first u/s tomorrow-- I am going to be 7w4d. I have had a lot of anxiety and been on pins and needles for each new test and milestone. This is some uncharted, scary territory, and I am always thinking/preparing for the worst.

     


    IVF #1 ET 1 d3 embryo 10/30/11 BFP
    3 Embryos frozen (1 d5, 2 d6)

    DS born 07/29/12

    FET #1 ET 1 d5 embryo 02/10/15 BFN

    FET #2 1 d6 embryo didn't survive thaw, transferred last d6. CP :(

    image
  • I totally agree with you guys. I am naturally an anxious person, but add in all of the repeat disappointments of IF and a missed m/c to the mix, and I can't help but be convinced that bad news/disaster is always just around the corner. I hope all of us negative nellies are proven wrong, and that this is the time that things will go right. I wish I wasn't so terrified.
    IUIs #1-3 (1x unmedicated, 2x Clomid) = 2 BFNs, 1 m/c at 7w3d
    IUIs #4-6 (injects) = 3 BFNs
    IVF #1 = BFN
    FET #1 = BFN
    FET #2 = BFN
    IVF #2 = BFP, b/g twins lost at 20w due to partial abruption/PPROM
    IVF #3 = c/p 5w2d
    Long-shot Clomid/Prednisone cycle before next IVF = BFP, our beautiful, healthy girl born 6/26/13!
    ~~
    TTC again March 2014
    FET #3 - May/June 2014
    -
    all embryos arrested before xfer - back to the drawing board...
    IVF #4 - July/August 2014 
    beta 1 (11dp3dt) 220, beta 2 (13dp3dt) 671, beta 3 (19dp3dt) 10762
  • imageSSideHeather:
    I'm the exact same way. My second beta is tomorrow and I'm so nervous it will be bad news. I have no reason to think this except for the fact that this is the first time thing have actually gone right. It's going to be a looooooong 9 months (God willing). 

    THIS!  Heading in for my second beta this am and *right* there with you.  Good thoughts, good vibes... 

    38. DH 40. TTC since 2005.
    Earlier m/c. DX (finally) 10/10: abnormal acrosome.
    ICSI #1 3dt 11/20/11 HPT BFP 11/30 Our beautiful daughters were born July 28, 2012.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic ** All welcome. **
  • I completely understand... and for me it hasn't gotten better even this far along. I now worry about him moving enough or a stillbirth.

    IF is so unfair to us all, that we just can't sit back, relax and enjoy being pg!

    Good Luck hun!! ((Hugs))

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  • Yup, I think we all feel this way. Lots of luck to you!
    TTC since 2006
    Me: 36 DH: 40
    DH dx azoospermia My dx: RA & AMA
    d-IUI's--6/10, 7/13 & 8/4: all BFN
    d-IVF#1--Lupron/Menopur/Bravelle/Novarel; mini-dose protocol
    ER: 10/25--18R; 14F; ET: 10/28--3dt of 2 embies; 3 blasts frozen
    + HPT 11/4; Beta #1--14dp3dt: 441; Beta #2--21dp3dt: 9298
    One beautiful jelly bean growing! Saw h/b on 11/28 and 12/5!!!
    P/SAIF welcome
    <a href="http://s22.photobucket.com/albums/b315/mandalinn/?action=view
  • SO there with you, ladies. Every odd symptom has me thinking the worst. And I feel like I'm still steeling myself for bad news around every corner. DH is frustrated with me about it. But it is sooo hard to turn that fear/worry off.
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  • I totally get it. I don't think it's so much that we become pessimists, it's that we are to afraid to be excited. I let myself get excited and ended up having bleeding...now I'm back to total caution. I wish you luck in your u/s and please keep us updated!
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  • ....i know.  it's hard.  when i went for my 5w5d ultrasound i was crying in the ultrasound room.  my RE was like "why im excited! this will be good!".  but i was just so scared. (just saw the ges. sacs, yolk sacs and fetal "poles" that day)  ....when i went for my 6w5d ultrasound i was kind of nervous but not nearly as much because i was already really freaking sick.  and at the 8 weeek ultrasound forget it....i was so sick i could barely move.  wasnt nervous at all then.  that was the only good thing about being sick....good luck.  we all understand.
  • I completely understand too. Good luck today!!
    Dx: Unexplained Infertility

    TTC #1 
    IUI's #1 - #3 Clomid = BFN's, IUI #4 Follistim = BFP
    Grayson arrived via emergency c-section on 7/28/12!

    TTC #2 
    IUI's #1 - #4 Follistim = BFN's
    IVF #1 w/ ICSI + PGS: Lupron/Follistim/Menopur
    ER 4/13 - 19R, 13F, 4 PGS tested embryos, 1 normal
    5/14 FET: BFP. Beta #1: 123, Beta #2: 327, Beta #3: 854
    Cora arrived 1/23/15 via RCS!
  • I completely understand how you feel. It is so hard not to be when IF has plagued you. I was excited and terrified at the same time for every appointment and couldn't really start to feel more reassured until we hit around 24-25 weeks when they say that the baby has a chance of survival if something were to send you into early labor. I am high rick and am at the point where the baby has a really good chance of making it even if I deliver early but I still can't help still being scared at each appointment that something will be wrong...or if I don't feel him moving as much one day t the next I start to worry that something is wrong.

    I don't think I will be completely able to just be happy and excited until he is actaully here and healthy! 

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  • Thanks for all of the replies! It's good (and bad) to know that I'm not alone in my craziness...

    :) 

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