How do I punish this?

ldcoffel

My SIL dropped off my 4.5 year old nephew and he and my almost 3 year old daughter went up to her room to play. I sat down to nurse the baby for about 10 mins when my dad dropped by. He unloaded some stuff into the garage and called up to the kids to say good bye.

they came out of my guest room. Only room that I  have stashed moving boxes in thst I haven't unloaded since I moved a month ago. They were coveted in paint. Paint on the carpet on the walls, on the bed... Most of it is temper paint, but still not completely coming out of the carpet.

I  sat them both in time out while I tried to start to clean. My dad brought up the steam cleaner and tried it on the floor while I bathed them seperatly. DD never does crazy stuff like this until he is around. Now they are playing in different rooms. They aren't allowed to play together.

what would you do? I am so mad and frustrated I  want to tell them santa isn't coming...

kmhunt11

I don't know that a punishment for your 3yo is called for here.  I would talk about how disappointed I am for the rest of the day and a little bit for a couple of days.  She'll feel bad enough.  I'd just watch them like a hawk when the nephew is over.  I know you have to nurse your baby, but it sounds like he's a mischievous little fella and there is no changing that.  Will his mom punish him?  4.5 is very different from 3.  If you feel like you need to drive the point home a little more with DD, you could put her to bed with no story tonight.  We don't do that with DD often because reading is so important, but when we do she is super unhappy.  

KarBear

My DD is about the same age, and if she got into something while I wasn't watching, I would probably make her help me clean it up, but otherwise, I would probably blame myself.

As for the nephew, leave that up to his parents.

Spenjamins

ldcoffel:

My SIL dropped off my 4.5 year old nephew and he and my almost 3 year old daughter went up to her room to play. I sat down to nurse the baby for about 10 mins when my dad dropped by. He unloaded some stuff into the garage and called up to the kids to say good bye.

they came out of my guest room. Only room that I  have stashed moving boxes in thst I haven't unloaded since I moved a month ago. They were coveted in paint. Paint on the carpet on the walls, on the bed... Most of it is temper paint, but still not completely coming out of the carpet.

I  sat them both in time out while I tried to start to clean. My dad brought up the steam cleaner and tried it on the floor while I bathed them seperatly. DD never does crazy stuff like this until he is around. Now they are playing in different rooms. They aren't allowed to play together.

what would you do? I am so mad and frustrated I  want to tell them santa isn't coming...

You should not have left them unsupervised.

shopgirl78

KarBear:

My DD is about the same age, and if she got into something while I wasn't watching, I would probably make her help me clean it up, but otherwise, I would probably blame myself.

As for the nephew, leave that up to his parents.

This.  What rules did you set when you went they went up there?  If you stated for DC & nephew to stay in their room and play, I would be more miffed at DC/nephew for not following directions.  If it just "shoo, go play" and you didn't provide boundaries or supervision its back on you.  I would certainly have them help clean and explained why the mess is a big deal: lose deposit,replace carpet and the costs. My kids know that if we have to spend money on repairs to something they broke, dental work, etc then its less money we have for other areas (ie toys, movies, McDonalds : ).  Three kids later, I have learned to be very specific in my expectations for behavior and rules.  They are always stated up front along with the consequences.  

And two kids always get into more trouble...I wouldn't put all the blame on your nephew.  

bim38106

KarBear:

My DD is about the same age, and if she got into something while I wasn't watching, I would probably make her help me clean it up, but otherwise, I would probably blame myself.

As for the nephew, leave that up to his parents.

This. She didn't do it to be bad, she did it because there was something cool and exciting and why wouldn't she?! Of course I'd definitely talk about why it's not ok and not to do it again... as for the nephew, I agree to leave it up to his parents. 

livinitup

Punishment?

Aren't these children 3 and 4?? As much as it was innocent of you to leave them to nurse your baby, you gave them the opportunity to get into a boat-load of mischief that they couldn't handle at their age.

Sorry, this is a parent/supervision fail.

Clean-up and move on. Get better door locks.

RoxBride

She's not even 3 years old yet, so I wouldn't even think about telling her santa isn't coming, and if someone told my kid santa wasn't coming, boy would I be unglued. I don't think there would ever be a situation where it is okay to tell anyone child that isn't your son or daughter that santa isn't coming.

I think you need to explain to her that she can't get paints out, ever, without a grown up there. Have her help clean it up, and let it go.

I know that paint is a HUGE mess and problem to deal with, but a 2 year old can't possibly have the thought process to anticipate that at the time of the incident.

kada626

My girls are about the same age. They probably would of done the same thing if they found unattended paint. I would do a timeout & let them know how upset I am. Other then that, I would find a better place to keep the paint.

KathrynMD

this is mostly a supervision failure; you really can't expect kids that age to play w/o supervision.

Ditto PP - give them a time out and next time find a safe space for them to go in.

ridesbuttons

livinitup:

Punishment?

Aren't these children 3 and 4?? As much as it was innocent of you to leave them to nurse your baby, you gave them the opportunity to get into a boat-load of mischief that they couldn't handle at their age.

Sorry, this is a parent/supervision fail.

Clean-up and move on. Get better door locks.

I agree.  The natural consequence of your action is dealing with and cleaning up the mess.  Lesson learned, right?

shellybird101

Spenjamins:

ldcoffel:

My SIL dropped off my 4.5 year old nephew and he and my almost 3 year old daughter went up to her room to play. I sat down to nurse the baby for about 10 mins when my dad dropped by. He unloaded some stuff into the garage and called up to the kids to say good bye.

they came out of my guest room. Only room that I  have stashed moving boxes in thst I haven't unloaded since I moved a month ago. They were coveted in paint. Paint on the carpet on the walls, on the bed... Most of it is temper paint, but still not completely coming out of the carpet.

I  sat them both in time out while I tried to start to clean. My dad brought up the steam cleaner and tried it on the floor while I bathed them seperatly. DD never does crazy stuff like this until he is around. Now they are playing in different rooms. They aren't allowed to play together.

what would you do? I am so mad and frustrated I  want to tell them santa isn't coming...

You should not have left them unsupervised.

You can't watch them 24/7. just saying.  But I feel that you did the right thing by seperating them.  I think I would tell the boy that if he can't make GOOD choice when you are not watching him then he has to stay in site from now on.

stdldb29

Um, I leave my kids alone all the time in their rooms, or whatever. I will take a shower, hang up clothes, wash dishes-they are 18 months and 3.5 years. I'm not going to watch them like a hawk all of the time. Spending 30 minutes here and there is fine.

 Your DC knew not to go in that room-I'm guessing, since you never go in there.

My older son knows we don't get into certain things, Your DD does as well, or you wouldn't be surprised that she did this-ya know? I'd probably make them clean it up.

 

 

trizzie

I think what we have here is a mother of a 2 year old and a newborn who is probably exhausted and came upon a huge mess.  Should they have been better supervisied? Of course. But again, newborn and 2 year old.  It is survival mode, people.  Let's cut her some slack.

That said - I do think you (op) need to dial it back.  Telling them what they did was wrong and helping you clean up is enough.  As for the nephew - that is on his parents.

Momma2Michelle

I think you are probably feeling totally overwhelmed with an almost 3 year old, and a newborn.  I leave dd unsupervised for up to 15-20 minutes at a time (she's 3 1/2) when I shower or something, but my house is pretty well babyproofed, as far as anything she can get into.  Anything messy or dangerous is behind locked doors, and that has helped prevent any major mishaps.

 So sorry about the huge mess, if you own the place, perhaps you can do the best you can with the steam cleaner, throw the blankets in the washer, and call it a day.  That will likely not be the last big mess when you have 2 kids under 3! I've given in to the fact that my house will not be spotless as long as I have a kid in the house, and that's alright with me. If you rent-then that's a bigger problem, since even washable paint seems to stick in carpet pretty well.  If it's light colored carpet, dabbing it with a cloth wet with peroxide helps.