leash debate on 2nd tri

copwife08

https://tinyurl.com/6429xo

What is your take on these??

Bleeding_Heart

I think it would be hilarious [and sad] to see me walking down the street with my 2 dogs and 2 toddlers in tow on leashes.

weemodin

If we go somewhere crowded with the babies once they want to walk everywhere (like a fair, or Disney World, or something of that ilk), I'm sure I'll put my two on leashes.  Flame away, but they're my kids and I don't want to lose them in a crowd.  Toddlers can be FAST.

cands

I'm currently considering buying two of them.  My girls love love love to walk outside themselves, but they pull on our hands when we try to hold their hands.  As a result, we only take them for walks (not in a stroller) when both DH and I are there, and we each watch one kid and keep them from detouring on the way to the grassy area, or running into the street.   But I would love to be able to let them walk on the way to the swings or grass by myself, but I can't without the harnesses.  I see them as a potential alternative to a stroller. I might have a different opinion after I use them.

FaeryStarGazer

I'm just going to ditto whoever it was that said no judging until you have a kid that wants to take off... better yet, wait until you are at the airport picking up your H with all your kids. My kids don't run yet, but they crawl in opposite directions. I am all for leashing your kid- I'd rather have both my kids latched to me then just hoping they'll stay close. How do you grocery shop and hold on to two hands? Or how do you get toddlers into a car (the ones who don't always ride in the stroller) when you're in a busy parking lot? If you honestly think that you just 'won't go out' with both of them, you're crazy pants

As soon as the serious walking starts, they are getting leashes. I'm pretty surprised that you are against them, Cops. this might be one of those "just you wait..." moments!

hopewill

i used one for my daughter when we went to the fair and mall...rather safe than sorry.

Cassie42

I am also considering using them.  My guys are just crawling now, but when they go in different directions it gets crazy. I can't imagine when they are walking.  My fear has always been parking lots.  I would much rather have them secure instead of living in fear that one will bolt out into the parking lot.  Many people will say we need to keep closer eye on them,but easier said than done when you are trying to get 2 little ones out of the car and from point A to point B. We will never know what is going through their little minds as they try and take off.  Things can happen so quickly and I would much rather be safe!! 

lutzcowgirlie

I think that if you can't control your child to keep them in a stroller/shopping cart or hold your hand then there is no need to take them to the store or where ever it is that you are. Leashes are for pets not children.

 

You're kidding, right? So I just won't go grocery shopping, to the doctor's office, or to run any necessary errands because my two year old isn't old enough to grasp the concept of not running away? Or I could just put her in the cart forcefully, running the risk of her standing up and falling, or listening to her scream throughout the store.

 

You do what you have to, as a mom. There are plenty of things I didn't think that I would do before I was dealing with my kids. But all kids are different. I think that anything done with the best interests and safety of kids in mind can't be judged too harshly. Are these parents with kids on harnesses trying to demean or ridicule their children? No. They are trying to ensure their safety while allowing them some of the freedom they so desire at their age.

 

If I go out somewhere I am not going to put myself into a situation where I'm forced to chose between walking away from my infant twins in their stroller or losing track of my walking two year old. If a leash helps me to manage all of my children successfully I will use it happily. If anyone thinks they can do it better they are welcome to come on over

KaliChick

I have a set of twins in my care that the grandparents raise.  She had "leashes" for them because they are both runners.  She doesn't use them much anymore but when they first started with me at the age of 2 years 3 months she would put them on them to bring them into the school.  Her rationale was that if they ran from her in the parking lot (and potentially into the street) she couldn't chase after them fast enough.  After a couple of months she quit having to use them because they learned to stay with her and she only uses them occasionally now if she's going some place that is crowded, etc and not taking their stroller.

I had never been a big believer in them and bought into the whole "it's a child not a dog" theory but I've heard of and seen too many kids running from their parents to think that now.  Kids want independence and are smart and quick ... put them in a stroller and they fight you that they want out.  Yes, you can teach them to stay with mommy or daddy but some kids (I'm talking about children under 3 over that age and I'll believe the teach them to stay with you concept) have a high curiosity level and will wander.  Can't the argument be made that if you make your child hold your hand you are restraining them?  Some kids will pull away and not stand with you others will.  It's what works for you and your children, who am I to judge?

I don't have my own children so I can't say I will ever use them or that I won't.  I think it depends on the child.

Oh and someone in that thread said they were a preschool teacher and had never lost a kid on the playground ... well duh, kids are generally confined on a playground and have no real reason to be "leashed."  Shen then went on to say she's taken 18 kindergartners to a zoo and not lost one ... again I think a 5 year old can be taught to stay with the group (and she was probably lucky that she didn't have a wanderer in the group).  Trust me, as a preschooler director, just about every catalog I get that sells preschool equipment has some sort of a system for taking the kids out of the school environment ... whether it's rings on a rope or flags on a line it's something meant to keep the children together.

I say don't judge until you have a toddler.

FaeryStarGazer

someone in that thread said they were a preschool teacher and had never lost a kid on the playground ... well duh, kids are generally confined on a playground and have no real reason to be "leashed." 

I thought the same thing. lmao...

mmbench

I initially bought mine to get my kids in and out of day care.  The stroller was a pain to get in and out of the center, and once they were walking, it was a total pain.  I didn't want to leave one child in the car unattended while I went back to get the other.

So how else do you make sure one's not running off while you're getting the other in the car?

My girls just turned 3, and we went to the state fair last week.  I would have hated to bring a stroller there since it was crowded and they wouldn't have wanted to sit in it most of the time.  We used the leashes for the first time in about 8 months, and it was WONDERFUL.  They felt like they had free reign, and I was able to keep them from getting into too much trouble.

Baltibride

I have the monkey backpack leashes for my girls from target.  I honestly haven't used them very often at all because my girls are pretty good about holding our hands when we are out (but not always though).  I think of them in terms of safety.  I would rather protect my girls than worry about what others are thinking about me.  My girls actually love to wear the backpack portion of the leashes around the house, they think they're silly.

regenab

I plan on using them, if my girls are runners, like I was as a toddler. Back in the day when my Mom attached a telephone cord to my pants to keep me from getting away from her people thought it was child abuse, but it kept me from running into traffic. You do what you have to do to keep your children safe, you can't keep them indoors for the first 5 years, just to keep them safe, and if that means using a leash to keep them safe outside, I am all for it. At least now they make these really cute, I most have looked very strange leashed to my Mom with a telephone cord.

 

Rose.9.6.03

I have harness for my girls, but haven't really used them, yet.  Largely b/c of the PITA factor of putting them on.   I hold their hands going to and from the car - although that's a PITA, as well b/c it gives me no free hands. 

 My girls are pretty good about listening and following directions - but even the best behaved child messes up occasionally.  I would hate for their mistake to cost them their lives by being hit by a car or being taken by a stranger.  I'm surprised that people are so anti- harness.  It gives children more freedom than they would have by holding hands. 

Anyway, I'm totally pro-harness and intend to use them more and more as my kids get older.

lovethe1story

Pro-leash.  They aren't walking, so I haven't gotten then yet.  But I plan to.

baby X 2!

I would never in a million years put my kids a on a leash. If your in a situation that you should need to leash them  and you can't control them without, you probably shouldn't be in that situaiton.

 

 

tmp-303869625008161

Heck yeah I leashed them! It has nothing to do with an inability to control. It has everything to do with maintaining sanity. It's 2 against one and if you want to drive yourself crazy telling two 18 month olds to stay by your side go ahead, you'll never get anything done outside of the house. My girls had the monkey harnesses and they loved them. The rule was they still had to hold my hands and the leash was looped around my wrist. That way if I needed a free hand to grab something in a store they couldn't get too far. Or if I was walking through a parking lot with bags in one hand I could make sure they were safe. Think about it. They were a sanity saver. They're 3 now, and while they comprehend what I'm saying to them now, it's still nerve wracking to walk through a parking lot when I don't have both hands free to hold theirs. They still get leashed occassionally and it's completely their choice. We get out of the car sometimes and they say "I want to wear my monkey." So I let them. If they shouldn't be leashed "like dogs" then they should be "crated" either. Don't put them in a crib!

lutzcowgirlie

I would never in a million years put my kids a on a leash. If your in a situation that you should need to leash them  and you can't control them without, you probably shouldn't be in that situaiton.

 

I know I'm going to sound like *that* lady, but come back when you've got two walkers who each want to go their own direction.

 

The one thing I've definitely learned since having children is never say never.

FloF9

I would never in a million years put my kids a on a leash. If your in a situation that you should need to leash them  and you can't control them without, you probably shouldn't be in that situaiton.

 

Don't be surprised if you change your opinion once they're born and are mobile. 

 

My mother (she's 76 yrs old) cares for my kids and I insist she uses them when she takes them to the community park.  Her neighbors speed in their subdivision and would rather have them looking like dogs than on someones bumper.

qw23fv09ij87tf23

I think there is nothing wrong with using a child harness if you are at a crowded place. My sister used one on her 3 year when we went to Disneyland earlier this year. There were tons of children with harnesses. It beats loosing your child amongst millions of people. I too will use a child harness. Calling it a leash makes it sound like your child is a pet.

mrscalkins

lutzcowgirlie:

I would never in a million years put my kids a on a leash. If your in a situation that you should need to leash them  and you can't control them without, you probably shouldn't be in that situaiton.

 

I know I'm going to sound like *that* lady, but come back when you've got two walkers who each want to go their own direction.

 

The one thing I've definitely learned since having children is never say never.

Baby x 2, this is the best advice you will ever get.  If you are going to keep your sanity while having multiples (or one), one of the first things you will need to do is be flexible and have an open mind.

I said I'd never co-sleep.  Want to know how well that is working out for me?  DD is in a phase were she will only sleep next to us.  So it's either let her cry for hours, which she WILL do, or give in, soothe us both and cuddle her for the night. 

Jen2124

People who don't have kids yet ALWAYS know more than people who do. I think it is funny that all the MoMs at least "undestand" them, even if they don't use them. I always say people who scoff at leashes don't have kids yet (either that, or they only have one...twin moms almost always "get it"). I don't use one, but I totally "get" it now.

baby X 2!

There are always preventative measures to take before getting into a situation where you think you would need a leash like making sure you have 1 person per child, or not having something else in your hands, or not having a 76 year old person in charge of your child care.

 I'm not claiming to know anything about what works for everyone, but in my opinion if you put a child on a leash, what are you teaching them about the times they aren't on a leash? Are you going to keep them chained up always? Are you going to lock them in a kennel at night too??

cands

baby X 2!:

There are always preventative measures to take before getting into a situation where you think you would need a leash like making sure you have 1 person per child, or not having something else in your hands, or not having a 76 year old person in charge of your child care.

 I'm not claiming to know anything about what works for everyone, but in my opinion if you put a child on a leash, what are you teaching them about the times they aren't on a leash? Are you going to keep them chained up always? Are you going to lock them in a kennel at night too??

Come on, you aren't serious about the one person per child comment and not ever having something else in your hands, are you?  Is your plan that you will never be alone with your twins?  or that you will never ever have something in your hands while taking care of one kid, never mind two? 

Also, for what it's worth, I put my girls in kennel like things every night, I call them cribs.

baby X 2!

I'm just saying there are different ways of doing everything. And I don't plan to ever use a leash. So I am curious as to your thoughts on what its teaching your children about the times they aren't on a leash. Until what age do you plan to leash them everytime you leave the house?

lutzcowgirlie

baby X 2!:

I'm just saying there are different ways of doing everything. And I don't plan to ever use a leash. So I am curious as to your thoughts on what its teaching your children about the times they aren't on a leash. Until what age do you plan to leash them everytime you leave the house?

 

FWIW, I have used the harness very few times (she would like to use it more often, she calls it her monkey backpack.) However, I would just like to say that I will use it, as needed to keep my child safe.

 

And I won't come onto message boards populated with people who already have kids and spout sanctimonious bs about things I don't know/don't understand in my pregnancy deluded state of being the perfect mom. I was a perfect mom too, while I was pg. It was crazy easy. Then they started popping out and growing up and becoming intelligent, independent, adorable little critters who I can't always reason with, what with them not being fully developed yet.

 

Seriously, I hope you can afford lots of help, what with your plans to never go anywhere or do anything without a second adult to assist with your children. Oh, and like the pp pointed out, I guess you won't be using kennels, I mean cribs, so I hope you have someone else around to hold and cuddle your perfect little darlings all the time so that they won't feel like dogs when you lock them up. Oh, and make sure to come up with a plan for what happens if you have more children... My DH and I are outnumbered, so by your standards our family might never be able to leave the house again.

 

As far as what harnessing my daughter may teach her, I would assume that it teaches her the same things that everything I do every day teaches her. I would guess it teaches her that I am willing to do whatever is necessary to protect her from harm in a way that still allows her to grown and explore and experience the world with freedoms that are appropriate to her age. But, that sounds like poor parenting, to you, right?

lolacake

I would never in a million years put my kids a on a leash. If your in a situation that you should need to leash them  and you can't control them without, you probably shouldn't be in that situaiton.

 

spoken like a true person with no children.

The bottom line is, as has been for MOST of what I've learned having twins, NEVER JUDGE or have set in stone EXPECTATIONS of what your life will be like. It's so easy to say "I'll never do this" or "I'll definitely do that". You will no doubt become disappointed, and no matter what- you have NO IDEA what raising twins will be like!