adoption

cj803kj411

I know this is the single moms board so I don't know if anyone will have any advice for me or know what would happen in this scenario. 

My sons father has never been in his life, but signed the paternity papers all that fun stuff. child support is on the records even though i think hes paid a total of 50 or less over my sons 4 years. SO my bf wants to adopt him whenever we get married. does anyone know how in the world we'd go about this?

I know when my son was a baby his father wanted to sign over his rights but because of some dumb legal reason or catch or something my lawyer said he couldn't because there was no one to sign the rights too.

Like i said i dont know if anyone will have any advice but anything would help its all kind of confusing to me.  

PrettyInPearls23

I was adopted when my mom remarried. I was 5 years old.

Obviously I was very young, but from what my mom tells me, my bio-father knew that I'd be better off with a "real" family, so he voluntarily signed away his rights to me. My mom lived in MI and he lived in OH, so I'm sure that had something to do with it. I remember sitting on the judges lap in his office and having him ask me if I wanted "that man over there" to be my new daddy, pointing to my dad. I vividly remember replying with "He IS my daddy". I guess that was all the confirmation the judge needed.

My name was legally changed to my dad's last name and he was put onto my birth certificate.

mdotm0904

i'd try to find an adoption lawyer in your town, they'd best know the laws of your state and how best to go forward. But from what I understand in my state, since the dad is on the birth certificate, he'd have to voluntarily terminate his rights so that the other man could adopt.

that's such a great thing of your boyfriend for wanting to do that. i really hope it works out for you

rmustian89

My parents got married when I was too and my bio-dad as I call him.. Did not want to sign over his rights. It took 14yrs but my stepfather was finally able to adopt me after my bio-dad gave up his rights. As long as there is someone there to sign the rights over to and the biological father signs over his rights it's pretty smooth sailing. We filed for the adoption, went in front of the judge and he asked why we wanted this adoption and made sure that it is what I really wanted, then he signed the papers, I got my new birth certificate and it was final. If the father doesn't want to though, you can take him to court and plead your case for him not paying child support and in a lot of cases the fathers will sign over their rights to get out of paying what they owe.

FyreFlyeRush

In Texas, they give the father ample time to object to the adoption request, then process them.

I know my cousin was adopted by her step father after she turned 18, but that was because they collected social security from her father's death.

cj803kj411

thanks ladies. yea it's going to be interesting no matter what happens but I really hope that my bf is able to adopt him at some point in time. My son already looks at him as a dad and with his name being Dan it sometimes slips that my son calls him daddy instead of danny. With all that being said we just both want the stress of not having my sons bio dad paying child support and court systems and everything else, plus it would mean a lot to my bf for my sons last name to be his. 

I know that once he is adopted the child support is dropped and while financially i wish i would get that money, I'm not getting it anyway and it's just more stress anyway so whats it matter.  

sabrina69barnes

I was a single mom until I married my DH. He adopted my DS a year and a half ago. Here is how it worked for us.

BF saw DS pretty regularly but never really paid child support. I've got maybe $300 in 4 years. BF was never  responsible with DS and used him as a tool to try get to me. I always knew it was better in the long run for BF not to be involved. BF was facing felony charges and jail time for not paying child support. To avoid jail he asked DH to adopt DS. An adoption doesn't get rid of child support arrears but I agreed to sign an affidavit saying I didn't want the money. I didn't recieve any government assistance so I was able to.

Every state is different but where we live DH and I had to be married for a year. BF either had to agree to the adoption or he could contest it. DH and I had to meet with a GAL and DH had to have a background check. We had to fill out some financial papers saying we could provide for DS. After that we were given a court date. DS didn't have to go but he did. We were there maybe 20min and part of that time was spent taking pictures with the judge. We got DS's new SS card and birthcertificate with his new name a few weeks later.

We had a lawyer who walked us through the whole thing. Everything total cost us about $600 and DH's employer paid us back. BF decided he wanted an adoption in May, signed the papers in June, and everything was final in September.