Young and worried..

AndreaFulcher

Hello,

I'm really freaking out right now..I'm 17 years old, 9 weeks and 3 days pregnant and my boyfriend and I just broke up. Not because I'm pregnant, because he decided to cheat on me...Now that I'm on my own I'm scared to go into this on my own. His mom calls me and checks on me but he doesn't really want anything to do with me. We broke up last night and he's already dating someone else..

Can anyone help me, give me some advide maybe...I would really appreciate it..

 

I posted this originally on the 1st Trimester board, then I was referred here..any of you all have any advice, or stories..?

cj803kj411

first RELAX. it will all work out. I was there. it sucks beyond belief. and unfortunatly im in kinda the same boat again (think id learn right...) 

 

I was in my senior year of highschool (17...he was 17 as well) and we had been dating all of highschool when I found out I was preg. I graduated in May and had my son in April. during the pregnancy he was in and out of jail and getting in more and more trouble. he still struggles with drug addiction, doesnt pay child support, and doesnt see his son. Im not telling you this to scare you just facts with what happened in that situation.

 

NOW i am in my senior year of College and pregnant again. was with this ones father for over a year and a half. and yet when we had this big discussion of marraige and life and moving in together. he told me he doesnt think he could ever love me. with that being said (as much as it hurt) i left. this was right BEFORE i found out i was pregnant.

 

in that time i had actually been talking to  this guy (has been a family friend for quite some time) and we are taking it slow but he is excited about the baby (even though its not his) and he loves spending time with my son. maybe this is my happy ending and hopefully SOME hope for you. this isnt the end. 

 

suggestions tho.... idk where you live but you should have federal programs in your area such as LINK (foodstamps) WIC (women infant children) there may be a child care subsidy program in your area all of these are great programs and help tremendously. I assume youre living at home? and your parents would greatly appreciate the food from link and wic you could offer. the child care subsidy is based off your income my son goes to kindercare (about 800 a month normally) with the subsidy i pay around 150 a month. this allows me to go to school and work (at least enough to cover the essentials). also. GET CHILD SUPPORT on the record AS SOON AS POSSIBLE i would suggest this for ANYONE that isn't married. even if he doesn't pay the court system keeps track of it. it collects interest and you will eventually get it one day (even if it means they put him in jail and that is his bond).  

 

I hope that all this helps. if you want to private message me Id be more than happy to talk to you more about this. =] 

FyreFlyeRush

Exactly what the PP said. I was 19 when my daughter was born. Her father broke up with me when we learned I was pregnant. only you can decide what will happen. It's a hard road, but well worth it in the end.

I used the system for what it is for. I got Medicaid for my baby, food stamps, free child care, and the state went for Child Support on my behalf.

It really saved my bacon. I was able to work 20 hours a week, and go to school 20 hours a week.

Now, nearly 16 years later, I'm able to support myself and my daughter. I'm off all government assistance. And, her father is paying child support through payroll deductions.

Soon2beLindseyT

I just responded to another post about being a young single mother.. I'm mostly a lurker here.  But today I'm feeling especially sympathetic I guess so I want to post.

First of all *hugs* because I know where you are right now, I've been there.  It's the worst feeling in the world to be cheated on, but while pregnant is such another story.  I can almost promise you that after you have the baby he will be back.  But don't give in!

You are better off without him! It may not seem that way now but you are!  There are a lot of great guys out there that really aren't afraid to step up and raise a kid that isn't theirs.  I remember that being a huge deal to me. That no one would love me because I had a kid "baggage".  It's not true though and you deserve someone that will never cheat on you.

I was 16...4 days away from being 17 when I had my daughter.  So I can relate in a huge way.  I was on Medicaid (my insurance wouldn't cover my pregnancy) and I also was on WIC which helped me so much.  I was embarrased about it at the time but looking back, it was an answer to a prayer because I couldn't have made it without. 

My biggest advice is to find a part time job, my high school did an apprentice program that was paid and I got to leave school 1 or 2 periods early and go to work and work until 5.  And then go to college.  Financial Aid is a wonderful thing as well and they give lots of support to young mothers.  These will equip you with everything you need to support your child and you.  And you may even find a great guy along this journey to better yourself.

Good luck and please feel free to PM if you want!

DHYGchica3

I probably don't have the best advice or most experience (I've only recently became a single mom) but you can do it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. *hugs*