why us?

Heatherhah

That is the question that I continue to ask every single day. I have 3 people in DH's family that are pregnant and they will all get their take home babies I'm sure ,so why us? Why were we chosen to have an angel baby and have to try for another take home baby , people I speak to tell me that it is just how things had to be. Well I can't believe that. We have no answer as to why Sydney died and that haunts me every day. I have to blame someone so for now I blame God and my doctors which I know isnt right to blame god but my heart is so broken it has been almost 9 weeks and I am so bitter about her not being here. I want her back so much!! I am terrified about being pregnant again and losing another baby. I hope I am normal with my thinking!! I feel like a weirdo thinking like this.

Heather

 

Petunia844

There is nothing weird about it.  I feel exactly the same way, why does anybody have to go through this?  It just doesn't make sense.  You are not weird for being scared of being pregnant again either.. I know even my H doesn't understand how hard that will be.  He said the other day that in 6 months maybe I will be "pregnant again and super happy."  It broke my heart to have to tell him my next pregnancy just won't be like Peyton's.

Heatherhah

I am also struggling with trying at our 12 week mark which is the middle of december. My MFM said wait until January but who's to say I will get pregnant the first month that we try it took me almost 6 months to get pregnant last year. I am going to be 39 in March so the odds arent with us at this point. I feel so lost and I am so glad that all of the ladies on here are here to understand my feelings.

 

hewinked

Totally normal.  I wonder all the same things.  My DD was born 5 weeks early.  I worked so hard to keep DS inside for as long as possible.  He was born healthy, the day before his due date.  Then he died at 2 months old.  And I always wonder, why?  Why him?  Why did he make it to full-term and out all healthy just to be taken away?  I'm pregnant now and scared out of my damn mind.  Every appointment I'm convinced that this is when they'll tell me baby's gone.  My anatomy scan is coming up soon, and I'm scared they'll tell me something is wrong.  You are absolutely not alone.

may2806

You're not weird at all. I kept asking myself this question, why have we been put through this? Some people believe there's a "plan," but I just cannot believe there is any kind of plan that involves the death of innocent babies like my Samantha. I can't believe that a loving God would take my baby's life. Or that God, if it was in his power to change things, would choose to allow so much suffering throughout the world. This might be getting too religious, but I can't believe that it's punishment for our sins or anything like that.

So, instead I just leave God out of it, that things just happen and there is no why, no master plan, just life. There was a medical reason why I lost my baby, but beyond that I cannot fathom a "reason."

((HUGS)) 

lovemymaddy

may2806:

You're not weird at all. I kept asking myself this question, why have we been put through this? Some people believe there's a "plan," but I just cannot believe there is any kind of plan that involves the death of innocent babies like my Samantha. I can't believe that a loving God would take my baby's life. Or that God, if it was in his power to change things, would choose to allow so much suffering throughout the world. This might be getting too religious, but I can't believe that it's punishment for our sins or anything like that.

So, instead I just leave God out of it, that things just happen and there is no why, no master plan, just life. There was a medical reason why I lost my baby, but beyond that I cannot fathom a "reason."

((HUGS)) 

This pretty much says it all for me...  ((hugs))

krissywave

Everyone has to work out this tragic in their own way.  Who cares if right now you want to blame everyone for how ya feel.  Just take everything one day at a time.  No one can say if this time is going to be anything like the last time.  I know its hard to say but I know for me I try to treat both of my times at being pregnant different.  No to will every be alike.  I know for this 2nd one I tired to keep a positive mind that my friend told me.  Every day is a blessing.  Just take it one day at a time.

krysiahamaty

I don't think you're a weirdo at all. I ask that question everyday. Not only for myself but you ladies. Why do we deserve this??

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dandywarhol

I wonder about this as well and just keep coming back to the fact that it makes no sense.  I know my daughter would have been wonderful for the world so it is so hard to think that the Universe took her from me.  When I said that to a friend she responded, "I think the Universe did want Sylvie here, but for some random reason she died." I know it sounds weird but the thought of the Universe wanting her and randomness taking her provides me some comfort. I can't explain it.  Maybe it is the thought that even the Universe can't control things that makes it a tiny bit easier to comprehend. 

 

sandykins

I think this just about everyday. Why us? Why me? Did I do something to deserve this? I'm mad at God. I want to know why he chose us to carry this burden and not others.

pb127

I ask this all the time and deep down I know there is no answer... and I'm not sure there is any answer that would satisfy me anyway, but that doesn't keep me from asking all the time.  Lots of (((hugs)))

Carolee

This is completely normal.  I ask myself that question every single day. 

starrkitten89

Totally normal.I feel this way also,and I am so,so scared of having another loss.I ask myself,"everytime I get pregnant,is the baby going to be taken away from me?"

magdalina.h

You are very normal for having those thoughts! I had the same feelings for awhile until I read another baby loss blog. The post simply said "Why not me?". The next day he wrote more and said I've had the thoughts of why me, but then I got to thinking what makes me so special that it shouldn't have happened.

weddedwife

Well, I'm not religious, but at a time like this I sometimes wish I was. I think it might make it easier to believe that my life is in the hands of an all-knowing God who knows what he's doing. But I just don't.

On the other hand, that takes the "why" out of it. I don't believe that life is fair, so saying "it's not fair" or "why me?" doesn't make any sense.

Maybe it's scarier to think we live in a world where stuff randomly happens all the time, but I feel it's better to face that reality than to delude myself. Sh*t happens at random, and it happened to us.