Keeping your pet or finding them a new home....

LoveyFNR

So I know a lot of people get weird and judgey when they hear about people having babies then getting rid of their pet.

I have a 4 year old boxer who I really do love. He's a good dog for the most part and is great with my son. I have baby #2 due in June and my children's father is gone now. I barely have time for my dog right now......I have no idea how I could possibly have an 18 month old, a newborn AND take care of my dog. We live on the 3rd floor of an apartment building so even taking him outside to go potty is quite a task.

The problem is that I know I should find him a new loving home but I can't bring myself to do it.  I just feel like it would be wrong. I always viewed pets as family and a forever thing.

If you kept your pet how did you make it work as a single parent? Or if you gave the pet to someone, what was the deciding factor that made you do it?

I am so torn on this.

PrettyInPearls23

I did both. When XH and I were together, we had 4 animals. Two cats that I brought into the relationship, a dog that he brought into the relationship and a dog we got together but considered her as my dog (she was a Valentine's Day gift).

I had all 4 animals for a long time. As a single mom who works full time, it got to be very time consuming and expensive to take care of all 4 animals by myself. I eventually asked XH to take his dog back, as it was getting to be far too much for me. I was heartbroken, and worried about how my dog would adjust, but within a few days she was fine.

One of my cats got really stressed out by DS chasing her all the time and spent a lot of time hiding in the basement. I knew this wasn't healthy for her, so I posted an ad on the 'water cooler' at my office and found someone who wanted a companion for their cat. I was really sad to say goodbye to her, but I knew she'd be happier in a calm and relaxed house without a toddler running all over the place.

I'm now down to 1 dog and 1 cat and it's been great. I have a huge fenced in yard, so my dog gets plenty of play time and exercise. I have more time to devote to my two animals and I know they appreciate that.

Nobody can tell you what to do, but think about what your dog deserves. It won't be easy, but nothing about being a single parent is easy. Whether it be LO parent or pet-parent

LoveyFNR

Right, that's why part of me thinks it's best to find him a new home. I have a fairly large apartment but not nearly big enough for him to run and play like he should. He has so much energy. And I work full time and have my son with me 24/7. I feel horrible that I don't have the energy for him.

PrincessFiona9

I definitely know how tough it is. I had an energetic 1 year old boxer mix when DD was born. When I became a SP I could only keep my dog for a month. When I moved to a new apartment I was forced to re-home her. My BFF's IL's took her in, and I still get to see her now and then. Had I been able to afford to stay in my old apartment, I would have kept her, but I didn't have a choice.

JellymanKelly

We moved cross-country prior to our split (then I moved back home). Before we moved, my ILs took our dog. It was a temporary move, so we had planned to get her back when we returned in December/January. I've been back here since August and I haven't taken her yet. She is really happy there and I have a full plate right now trying to figure out how to support myself and take care of the kids alone, but they've recently asked if I am planning to take her back. I have no idea what to do. While I don't want to be like my H and run from my responsibilities just because "it's too hard," I also don't want to take on more than I can handle and have the kids and the dog suffer in the end. I'm with you, it is a hard choice. If I had a fenced yard, it would be a no-brainer, but I don't.

LoveyFNR

I totally see where you ladies are coming from. The one factor that would make it easier for me to give him to someone is if I KNEW the people. Like in-laws or a sibling or some sort of family member. I'd feel much better about it if I knew for sure he was being taken care of and I could still see him.

When I found out I was pregnant with my first we also had a bulldog that I couldn't handle (I was alone through that pregnancy as well). So I kept my boxer and gave the bulldog to my sister's friend, who in turn gave him away to some random person a month later after she promised me she never would or she would return him to me if she decided she didn't want him. I was really upset about it and don't want the same thing to happen to my dog.

I can still afford my home and plan on staying here so maybe I'll just keep him around until I get closer to having baby 2 and see if I can handle it then.