I'm irrational. Please talk me down.

lotus88

So I'm half baked tomorrow. Everybody around me keeps talking about LO and the pregnancy and I just can't bring myself to share this activity. It makes me so uncomfortable to discuss it as though it's actually happening. Somehow I also feel paniced, maybe because I'm reaching this milestone.

I have an anterior placenta and I know it can take much longer to feel LO. Well around 18w I thought I was feeling it, but maybe not. Then recently it picked up and I am sure it was. The last couple of days though, I've felt nearly nothing. I know logically that LO is small enough that position relative to my placenta makes a big difference, but I can't shake the worry. I heard LO on the doppler yesterday. It's fainter, but with the same rhythm. I'm thinking the faintness is because of the placenta.  Still can't shake the worry. 

Also, I just can't imagine that there's a LO the size of a mango or whatever the next fruit is in there. It doesn't seem possible. Like something has to be wrong.  It's got to be too small for me not to feel it more. My ute measures where it should be, so you'd think I could leave it at that, but I'm climbing the walls.

To top it off I've had some stabby short pains today that are probably growing pains, but just add more fuel to the fire. 

My a/s is on the 9th and it can't come soon enough. So irrational.

Thanks for listening. Imagine a hot plate of double chocolate cookies at the bottom here. I can't post pics from work.

LoveOfMikesLife

Breath! Just take a deep breath. I know it's scary! As soon as you get home listen with the Doppler again. If its not what you want to hear, go to the doctor and ask them to listen! YOU'RE half way there, you can start to get a little more excited now

thewayiam

It's not irrational. You're PgAL. I can totally understand why you are worrying, just because you're pregnant after loss. I'm sure everything is fine... I didn't feel LO at all (I don't think) until 19 weeks and after that it was inconsistent. We didn't get a doppler as I knew I'd obsess over the heartbeat. From what I've read on here, inconsistency is normal with that, too. And all the weird pains that come and go are usually normal, too.

I hope you're able to calm down a bit. It's not fun being paranoid (I was very paranoid). I'm sorry you're feeling this way. (((HUGS)))

Froggy76

You are not irrational. I hope the a/s gives you some more comfort so you can really get excited!!

jkfranklin

Yes, breathe.  I'm not feeling consistent movement yet either.  I could go 2 days without feeling anything and I don't have an anterior placenta.  It will be soon enough where you won't be able to get away from feeling movement (not that you would want to).

lotus88

Thanks ladies. I do need to take a few deep breaths. I feel like a crazy person when I say some of these fears out loud. Thanks for understanding. I feel a little better now and will check on LO when I get home.

missbrooklyn1

I'm sorry you're stressing.  It's so hard having all of these little anxieties.  I am right there with you and wish that I could just ENJOY the pregnancy and be happy!  I just posted my own long anxiety vent...hope that you get relief soon!  

unstuck6jb

I do this every day...I convince myself something is wrong and then I have to breath and talk myself down!  It's definitely normal, but hopefully after the a/s you can feel more excited.  I keep thinking that when I finally get out of the first tri I'll feel better...but there is no telling.  You just have to have faith!  Keep breathing too!

xoladiebug

You are certainly not crazy...I just posted about the same thing on Sunday and I'm further along (and my placenta is towards the back). I just think our lo's are trying to be sneeky and have themselves turned around. But i certainly understand the fear!

Izabella22

Lots of deep breaths! You aren't crazy and definitely being Pgal isn't easy... milestones make things seem more real, but for me at least I still have all those fears. Honestly I was reminded on Monday how different it is for someone with a loss when we did intro's at childbirth class and everyone was talking about how their favorite part of pregnancy is feeling movement and all I could come up with is that my favorite part is that its going well so far and LO seems to be healthy... but even still I don't get so excited about movement as I do that this little guy seems to be sticking around... I'm still too scared to get my hopes all the way up.

And as far as movement, I didn't feel real movement for sure until 22 weeks and nothing consistent until 26 or so, you've got time!  Dh even commented at our a/s b/c LO was flipping and kicking and he was like "Jeez how can you not feel that" but it happens in time! Just hang in there!

julesjb

Everything you wrote I promise I experienced too!! The movement will pick up soon and then you won't be able to remember what it wa like to not feel it. It sounds like your LO is doing great!

 

On another note I cannot friggin believe you are half baked!! Get some Ben and Jerry's ASAP!!

loves*green*mlkglass

Like PP said, take a deep breath.  I'm sure LO is doing great in there, especially since you just heard his/her heart beat.  I know I expected to feel consistent movement once I starting feeling any movement and it freaked me out to go from feeling him all day one day and then next to nothing for a week.  I really only started feeling him more consistently this week at 21 weeks.  (And I still worry when he's not moving)

The pain you're feeling is probably just from everything stretching out to make room for baby.  I felt something similar a couple weeks ago and even though I "knew" it was normal, I still had a serious talk with LO about staying put until April.

Big hugs!  We're all irrational, but at least we have a safe place for it.   

candacek31

First of all, YEAH for almost being half baked!  It is an amazing milestone to reach.  The worst part about an anterior placenta is the on and off movement.  I had major movements for 4 days and the last 2 I have had hardly anything.  I am the size of a papaya and I can't believe there are days that I don't feel much either.  I just blame my amazing placenta!  (((HUGS)))  The 9th will be here before you know it!

lotus88

I listened to LO when I got home and it's just so beautiful while I hear it.  Wish I was somehow super aware and could tune into it whenever I wanted. Phew. Tomorrow I need to treat us. (yes, there's really an us)

amu1234

You're not irrational just PgAL. I'm at 31 weeks and I still freak out about her movement, & just about everything else I can worry about. Just breathe & get that Doppler on your belly so you can hear your LO.

tiffanyings

Breathe in.. breathe out.  I know it must be very scary and I am sorry that you are feeling this way.  Do something for yourself!  Something you find relaxing.. spa day maybe?  soak in the tub.. eat some yummy goodies.. pedicure.. manicure... watch a movie...  surround yourself with ppl if that is something you enjoy or just be alone and enjoy your time to yourself!