Would this bother you?

mommaofboys

I am the room mom in my son's Kindergarten class.  When I went in for the Holloween party I organized, another mom was in there too.  She was taking pictures of the kids.I just happened to be nosy today and looked her up on FB.  (we are not friends on facebook).  And she has pictures up on her page of all the kids in the class and my son and I are in some too.  Not just background but deliberately took them of kids when her son was nowhere around.  I realize that she probably did it for harmless reasons but the fact that her page is public and that I dont know her at all and she has pictures of my son online irks me. 

I dont know this woman at all and infact had to have my sons seat moved at the begining of the year because this child was having trouble with personal space toward DS and it caused him a lot of anxiety.

I do put pictures of my kids on facebook but am super selective about my friends and have everything private.  I also would not put pictures of other's kids online.  I just think it is inappropriate to take pics of kids in a school setting without their parents there and post them publicly.

Am I over reacting?  What can I really do about it anyways without looking like a creepy stalker?

Turkey Lurkey

KitCat1:

Do I take pics of my kids and their whole classes?  Yes.  Do I post them on FB?  Nope.

That said, what if you were at the zoo and someone you don't know just happened to take a picture with your kid in the background?  They could put that pic up on FB.  I really don't see how you can police this.  The teacher could say something, but the parent doesn't have to listen.

Also, I signed a release at the beginning of the school year saying that my kids' pictures could be used by the school. The school has parent photographers at events.  I have some idea, but I couldn't exactly tell you who is taking for personal use and who is taking for school use.

This is the same for DD's school. Her picture is always on the school website since she is in so many activities. I honestly wouldn't care at all.

Cherryblossoms07

Yes, it would really bother me.  I don't post pictures of DD on on-line and I would be mad if I discovered someone posted pictures of DD without my knowledge.  We went to DH's work picnic last summer and one of the wives was trying to advertise her photography business so she took pictures of all the kids there and then posted them on FB.  DH and I were not happy when we discovered that, but luckily none of the pictures she took had close up pictures of DD or we would have said something.  We have learned to avoid her at all cost at holiday events now. 

Cherryblossoms07

KateB1984:

Honestly, it wouldn't bother me at all.

I don't really understand why people are concerned about photos of their kids being 'out there' in the world. Strangers look at my kids all the time. At the playground, in the grocery store. We're probably in the background of thousands of vacation photos. Whatever my kid was doing in a school picture wouldn't be private to me because it's a public space. Bath photos? I would have a problem with it. But any photo taken in public? I really don't see the problem. I wish someone could tell me what the specific concern here is. A friend told me it's because of perverts but I don't see how a pervert would get off seeing my kid play at school when he could watch real kids in public or pick up any toy catalogue to see kids playing. And even if it did happen, we would never ever know about it. It's not going to hurt us or affect our lives in any way.

That said, I know this is a common complaint, so you're not alone and I would never post photos like that on FB because of this popular mindset.

I have had too many experiences with predators through my prior job who used seemingly innocent pictures of kids they found on facebook and myspace to get off.  Most of the pictures were completely innocent pictures, not even close to being sexual in nature - which they seemed to like because the kids were still innocent.  The kids just had the qualities they were looking for - certain sex, age, hair color, etc.  The idea of my kids' picture ever being used in such a manner makes me sick!  So, that is why I don't post pictures and wouldn't like other people doing so.   

Sharon21

I would be livid! However, I have a very unique situation. DD#1's biological father (no longer has rights and my husband has adopted her) is crazy, like Lifetime movie crazy, and I know for a fact that he is now looking for her. That is why I don't have a picture of her in my siggy or her name or anything. I have all my facebook setting as strict as possible and never post picture of her that could give away our location.

None of the mothers in DD's class know about our situation. Just like this lady that put up pics from your son's class doesn't know everyone's situation. I would bring it up to the teacher. I know we never sign the waiver allowing DD's picture to be used and there may be parents in your son's class that didn't. The teacher needs to know about it.  

Andrewsgal

KateB1984:

Honestly, it wouldn't bother me at all.

I don't really understand why people are concerned about photos of their kids being 'out there' in the world. Strangers look at my kids all the time. At the playground, in the grocery store. We're probably in the background of thousands of vacation photos. Whatever my kid was doing in a school picture wouldn't be private to me because it's a public space. Bath photos? I would have a problem with it. But any photo taken in public? I really don't see the problem. I wish someone could tell me what the specific concern here is. A friend told me it's because of perverts but I don't see how a pervert would get off seeing my kid play at school when he could watch real kids in public or pick up any toy catalogue to see kids playing. And even if it did happen, we would never ever know about it. It's not going to hurt us or affect our lives in any way.

That said, I know this is a common complaint, so you're not alone and I would never post photos like that on FB because of this popular mindset.

Amen I could not agree more! 

notkateanymore

Turkey Lurkey:

KitCat1:

Do I take pics of my kids and their whole classes?  Yes.  Do I post them on FB?  Nope.

That said, what if you were at the zoo and someone you don't know just happened to take a picture with your kid in the background?  They could put that pic up on FB.  I really don't see how you can police this.  The teacher could say something, but the parent doesn't have to listen.

Also, I signed a release at the beginning of the school year saying that my kids' pictures could be used by the school. The school has parent photographers at events.  I have some idea, but I couldn't exactly tell you who is taking for personal use and who is taking for school use.

This is the same for DD's school. Her picture is always on the school website since she is in so many activities. I honestly wouldn't care at all.

I'm in this camp as well.  

JakesBride07

Yes I would be very bothered, especially considering they are "public".

I would mention it to the teacher and see what she can do about it. I don't think the school would be ok with this either. Even if you signed some kind of waiver.

susanmosley

I don't like it. However it is a sign of the times and I truly believe there is no way around it. This is the world we live in. I pretty much live thinking that if we are out of our home, we may be videoed or photographed at any point. And those pics could end up absolutely anywhere. It is just how it is now. No turning back.

Olalala157

Yes it would bother me. I wouldnt want some stranger being able to see exactly what child is in what classroom for the world to see. You also never know what situation each parent is in and maybe they dont want their child posted all over facebook. 

MrsBalletStar05

Andrewsgal:

KateB1984:

Honestly, it wouldn't bother me at all.

I don't really understand why people are concerned about photos of their kids being 'out there' in the world. Strangers look at my kids all the time. At the playground, in the grocery store. We're probably in the background of thousands of vacation photos. Whatever my kid was doing in a school picture wouldn't be private to me because it's a public space. Bath photos? I would have a problem with it. But any photo taken in public? I really don't see the problem. I wish someone could tell me what the specific concern here is. A friend told me it's because of perverts but I don't see how a pervert would get off seeing my kid play at school when he could watch real kids in public or pick up any toy catalogue to see kids playing. And even if it did happen, we would never ever know about it. It's not going to hurt us or affect our lives in any way.

That said, I know this is a common complaint, so you're not alone and I would never post photos like that on FB because of this popular mindset.

Amen I could not agree more! 

 

Ditto.   

ktsnshn

It would bother me and I would probably say something to the teacher. The parent that posted those pictures does not know if any of the children in the pictures are not allowed to be in published photos. I am also super picky about where I will put online pictures of my child.

LynsiBHM

susanmosley:

I don't like it. However it is a sign of the times and I truly believe there is no way around it. This is the world we live in. I pretty much live thinking that if we are out of our home, we may be videoed or photographed at any point. And those pics could end up absolutely anywhere. It is just how it is now. No turning back.

this

nothing you can do except complain- and complaining won't likely change anything. 

Temp174496125006552

KateB1984:

Honestly, it wouldn't bother me at all.

I don't really understand why people are concerned about photos of their kids being 'out there' in the world. Strangers look at my kids all the time. At the playground, in the grocery store. We're probably in the background of thousands of vacation photos. Whatever my kid was doing in a school picture wouldn't be private to me because it's a public space. Bath photos? I would have a problem with it. But any photo taken in public? I really don't see the problem. I wish someone could tell me what the specific concern here is. A friend told me it's because of perverts but I don't see how a pervert would get off seeing my kid play at school when he could watch real kids in public or pick up any toy catalogue to see kids playing. And even if it did happen, we would never ever know about it. It's not going to hurt us or affect our lives in any way.

That said, I know this is a common complaint, so you're not alone and I would never post photos like that on FB because of this popular mindset.

I can totally see Kate's reasoning here. 

I also think it's inappropriate to post pictures of other people's children on the internet w/o the consent of the parent(s).  We post photos of the different events that we go to with the moms group that I run (on meetup.com), but only members of the group are able to see the pictures.  I would never post them otherwise.

I would probably contact this woman and very politely say that I appreciate that she took photos to document the event, but that you are uncomfortable with your child's picture being posted on FB so that anyone can see...and you'd appreciate it if she could remove it.  If handled the right way, I don't see why she should have a problem doing so. 

All that being said, I have pics of my kids in my siggy and this is a public message board and anyone that stumbles across this site can see them. 

Que*Syrah

Yeah, that would bother me.