I know that I don't really belong on this board, because I have not lost a child. But I did lose something and I need help dealing with it. I haven't found a place yet where I can go to connect with other people and just talk about it. So I'm kind of hoping that I will be accepted here so that I can try to find some sort of peace.
I was induced on November 9, 2011 and my son was born on the 10th. The thing I am having trouble with is that during the c-section (he was born 11lbs 6oz, so he just wouldn't fit in my pelvis) I had what they called a "tired uterus" which wouldn't stop bleeding after the placenta had been delivered. The team tried for an hour to get it to contract down but I just bled out. I needed 4 units of blood to replace what I have lost and ended up having a hysterectomy in order to save my life.
I know that this is no where near the same as losing a child and I am sorry if this offends anyone. I am just having such a hard time believing that I almost died and that I no longer have a uterus. I'm 24 years old and in an instant, my entire future changed. I wasn't even sure if I ever wanted to have another child, but now that the option is gone I just feel... Empty. Cheated. And I can't seem to find anyone that has been in a similar situation.
So, is it okay for me to join this board and try to work out my issues?