I feel like I've been sucker-punched...
CaptainSerious
member
and it's all my own fault.
I let myself get all optimistic that there would be another matching session this week, and even that we would be matched with J. Some weird things happened to suggest it would happen real soon, and I let myself believe it.
Today I received an e-mail from the agency telling me that, as of yesterday, they were still evaluating our case.
Really?!? They've had our file since July, and the extra paperwork since October. We've adopted from there before, our son is doing fantastic (which they know from our post placement reports), and we are trying to adopt another child that he lived with. The orphanage director supports our request, and they always say they do their best to expedite cases in which families request to parent waiting children.
So what in the world is the hold up? We've jumped through all their hoops. Even if they grant us the referral today, we won't be able to travel until sometime in January, which means it would have taken 6 months to process this supposedly expedited case! By no means do I feel as though I'm entitled to this, but we've more than proved ourselves repeatedly over the last 4 years. What more do we have to do to prove that we will care for and love this little boy as much as humanly possible?
If I hear one more person tell me that their process is slow because they are looking out for the best interest of the children, I may blow my top. Certainly that's true about the checks and balances, but this just screams incompetence (due to the constantly changing government and officials), inefficiency, and lack of caring/compassion for all the people involved--especially the children! I know we aren't the only family in this type of situation, and all I can think about is how many children will be in orphanages who don't have to be this Christmas, and how many children will be on the street instead of in orphanages because they are all full. It makes me want to puke.
Even if we do get a referral soon, there's no excuse for this.
Re: I feel like I've been sucker-punched...
Mommy to DS#1 7/1/04 and DS#2 6/15/07
M/C 2/16/10 at 9wks 5 days~ D&C 2/18/10
BFP#4 5/17/11 C/P.
BFP#5 11/30/12 Surprise! DS#3 born 7/29/13
I'm really sorry, Captain. You have jumped through many hoops and it's not fair or right. I hope that you get the referral soon.
There is NO EXCUSE for this. Augh!
Application approved Dec '11
Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
Homestudy complete July 19
USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
Come home, baby A!
This makes me so sad..... And frustrated for you!! I can't imagine how excrutiating it is waiting in your case (or in IA) when you know children need to come HOME!
I don't think you are Catholic... but I am starting a special Christmas Novena tomorrow. One of my intentions will be J and the boys in his orphanage that their mental and physical well being is preserved. (You can read about it here: https://joybeyondthecross.blogspot.com/2011/11/st-andrew-novena-aka-christmas.html)
Thank you all, for letting me vent and for understanding. No one in real life gets it. "It will happen in God's time/when it will" is all I ever hear, sometimes accompanied with, "You've been through this before. You know how it works. There's nothing anyone can do, so just try to forget about it for now." Not that I expect anyone to make it easier, but the responses I get in real life are completely unhelpful and leave me feeling like they think it's my own fault because I chose this path.
Thank you Silliest! This is one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me/my family. (I was raised Catholic, and am now a practicing Lutheran) In fact, I haven't completely given up hope for tonight (I'm a sucker for punishment, I guess), because the "weird things" that happened to make me think we were close to our referral are tied to things that happened with M's adoption and our trip to Medjugorje. I'm not one who typically believes in "signs," but they were so clear and unmistakable with M's adoption, and I was hoping that this time around we might be similarly blessed.
Sorry for the dups.
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After 5.5 years of loss, heartbreak, and empty arms, our dreams were fulfilled through the beautiful, selfless gift of adoption. We are amazingly blessed!
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