Feeling deflated...

elizxu

I am feeling really deflated this morning...I'm sure part of it is a Thanksgiving hangover (no, not the alcohol kind) ;-)

Over Thanksgiving, my know-it all aunt basically told me I wouldn't be able to have a natural childbirth because she didn't/couldn't. (I did NOT bring up the subject, my mother mentioned it when her sister asked where the baby would be born) My aunt had multiple miscarriages (many of them late stage), gestiational diabetes, complications from gastric bypass surgery, obesity and other issues while pregnant. Plus, she was in her mid-40s when she had her child and is a serious hypochondriac. Why she thinks that we are similar in any way is beyond me. I'm sorry that she is still holding onto the fact that she didn't achieve a natural birth, 13 years later, but that doesn't mean that I can't/won't/won't at least try. After her going on and on, telling anyone who listened why I would fail, I just walked out of the room. I almost walked out of Thankssgiving completely! It was like she was trying to convince the other women to help her talk me out of it or get on her side that I would fail.

I have had a very healthy pregnancy, been an athlete all my life, have prepared with child birth classes, reading, etc., don't run to the doctor's office for a paper cut and am preparing emotionally & mentally for a natural birth and the marathon it will be. I just wish people would quit looking at me like I have three heads or telling me I can't do it.

Sorry, I really just needed to vent. Thanks for listening!

Hollygirl7

That is so frustrating! And what's worse is that now there is pressure to absolutely not have an epi, because of the "I told you so's" afterwards. I know I felt so defeated when I "caved" and went to the hospital for pain meds with my son's birth (after originally planning a homebirth.) It turned out he was posterior, causing really wonky contractions that never really went away, AND my MW was ridiculously pushy and unsupportive, so it's no wonder I didn't have the support that I needed, but it took some time for the sting of it all to go away, and to appreciate his birth for the beautiful experience that it was. 

I know you said you were doing reading, but may I suggest, if you haven't read it already, reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth? I found it to be so empowering, and learned so much from it that I know made all the difference with my daughter's birth.  

 

star173

Wow, she sounds lovely. Vent away- that would've driven me nuts. It's like women don't want other women to succeed sometimes!! I hate that. I couldn't do it with my first, and I planned and tried my hardest, but you know what- I was still so supportive of my friend who wanted to go med-free, and I was truly happy for her when she did.

I'm sure barring no life threatening situations, you'll be fine, and you'll acheive your goal, and you won't give a crap what  your aunt said when you're holding your precious baby.

elizxu

Thanks for the pick-me-up!