Which family members do you invite to bday parties?

Liz342

We had DD's birthday party at our house yesterday for the first time.  We used to rent a place out but it became a pain to haul everything there and back and the space was bigger than we needed.

We ended up having about 30 people in our small-ish home yesterday.  It was chaotic and there were just too many people in here.  We just invite family.  I want to cut it down to just immediate aunts/uncles and grandparents but DH said I couldn't leave out his grandparents (DD's great grandparents) and his aunt and uncle (DD's great aunt and uncle).  So I invited all of the grandparents and aunts/uncles/cousins on my side too.

DH's family still all gets together for every birthday and he says it would be weird to just leave out his aunt and uncle (and possibly his grandparents but they live next door to us so I don't think I could bring myself to not invite them next time).  I'm not so much worried about my extended family, I would be ok with just having my parents and sister but don't want it to be just them and all of DH's extended family.  I really want to cut it down on his side to just his parents and his siblings and their kids. 

Would it be awful to not invite his aunt and uncle (and their grown kids too).  And would it be awful to not invite his grandparents who live down the street?  The is becoming such a PITA!  Growing up, my bday parties were just my own aunts/uncles/grandparents and not all of the extended ones!

freeatlast2014

I'm curious to see the responses here. We are having the same issue with the first birthday party and it will be for every single one going forward since we have a winter baby. In the summer bbq and pool party outside is easy peasy. But indoors - not so much.

We have to rent a place (which is costing a small fortune) for his first birthday but I look forward to when his party can be just his friends and I don't have to worry about the family. If I do as you say - JT's great aunts/uncles/grandparents, which I feel obligated to do, then we have about 50 guests minimum and no where to put them!

Although, even when there is a friends party I'll probably still want a family gathering too. Sheesh.

chicsub

Our place is way too small and our extended family lives in another state, so this obviously isn't an issue for us.  At the very least I would invite the great-grandparents and leave out your aunts and uncles.  We have our kids' 1st birthday parties at my parents' house and then invite my aunts and uncles and grandmas.  DH's aunts/uncles live in Russia and Israel, so we don't have to worry about them!   

ETA:  I don't invite my cousins b/c I have about 30 of them and most are married with kids of their own.  I have invited one or two of them that I actually have a closer relationship with.  My family understands this.

Daisy77

We invite our siblings, parents, grandparents (3 grandmas and 1 grandpa), a few friends (with kids) and my cousin and her son (kind of fall under the "friend" category).  Comes out to about 35-40 people as I have 8 siblings. 

If we invited my aunts and uncles and DH's aunt and uncles and all of our cousins....it would be our wedding all over.  Minus the vows.  

morgs8384

For DS first birthday we will probably invite all the family we can think of ( Aunts, uncles, cousins, etc). For the rest of the parties I will probably invite DH's parents and siblings and my parents and siblings and whoever can come is welcome to, whoever can't make it no big deal.

When I was growing up birthdays were always a big family thing. My parents would make sure that my grandparents and siblings were all there for everyones birthday no matter if you were 9 or 90. I would like to continue that.