Can I vent, please? (long)

Foolish5336

I am so sick of people. I'm sick of the people who are constantly texting me, calling me, or in general asking me if I'm in labor, or when I'm going to go into labor, or what my signs of labor are, or what my cervix is like. I'm sorry, but if I'm not offering up the condition of my cervix to you, don't freaking ask me. And then when I don't respond to your first inquiry, take the hint and don't ask me again a second time! I'm so sick of everyone putting this pressure on me to have the baby already. I really want to wait until I am 40 weeks, I am in no way rushing this, and everyone asking me is really starting to stress me out. It's a good thing though that I'm not one of those people who is "so over being pregnant" because I don't think I could handle constantly updating people with... nothing! I think I'm just going to start sending messages out telling people "If you ask me one more time, I am not going to update you at all once there is anything to update about!"

And in the same vein, I am so sick of people asking me for pictures of my belly. I am a VERY modest person in terms of pictures, especially now that I am pregnant. I think a big part of it is being PgAL and just wanting to protect everything about this pregnancy, but seriously. My FIL has asked me no less than 10 times for a picture of my stomach, and a bunch of people have sent me messages on facebook requesting them too. I don't even send pictures to my own mother! Again, I wish people would get the hint that when I don't respond, or respond with something entirely off topic, that I am not comfortable with sending them! Or even worse are the people (like FIL) that I have flat out told that I don't feel comfortable sending pictures of my stomach, and they STILL ask me all the time. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm on display. The same way that I don't want people randomly touching me now that I'm pregnant, I don't want people randomly taking or having pictures of me just because I'm pregnant.

I'm so sick of my DH and his family at the moment too. Last week, his sister sent out this mass picture message of her daughter at 10:30 at night. I'm sorry, but I go to bed at 10:00 on a good day, and now that I'm full term and don't sleep so well, you better have a damn good reason to text me so late. Whatever, though, I let it slide. Until her friend somehow responded to the message 15 or so minutes later, and sent it to me? I was pretty cranky at this point, but I sent back a message just simply saying "Please don't text me again." Anyways, SIL sends me a text message that was clearly not meant to go to me saying "That's my annoying sister in law. Lol she will get over it." At that point, I'm pretty livid. It's almost 11:00 at night, and if anything I would say that I'm the one that's NOT being annoying. SIL and I barely know each other, we live on opposite sides of the country and have met a whopping total of one time in the three years that DH and I have been together. Also, she's one of the major offenders of constantly asking me about my progress (even though we found out about the birth of our niece through her updating facebook about it).

Anyways, DH and I got into this major fight that night, because his family has always treated me like absolute crap, and for no reason whatsoever. I've posted briefly here about some of the other problems with his family, like when my MIL called DH the month before our wedding and told him not to marry me because I am a horrible DIL and a horrible wife. Or the time that she screamed at both of us "God forbid the day you have children!" I told him that I am sick of being treated like this awful person when I have never done anything wrong to any of them. He was pretty upset, which I do understand, because the rift between his family and I weighs on him heavily, but then it really ticked me off that he texted his sister and she came up with some BS excuse of how she was actually talking about her OTHER sister in law, and he totally bought it. I told him I didn't believe her, because it was clearly the worst lie to cover up her mistake, and he started arguing with me, saying how I should just forgive and forget, and that he knows his sister would never say anything like that about me. He actually asked me if I was really upset, or just hormonal! I told him that I am so freaking sick of how his family treats me like crap, and that he just expects me to pretend like none of it happened. I have literally never done one thing to any of these people to make them hate me so much, and I am so done with it.

It came back up again in the car on the way home from grocery shopping; we got heated up, and I ended up telling him that he needed to learn how to be a loyal husband. If anyone ever said half the things to him or about him that his family has said about me, that person would have a black eye and be cut out of my life. I'm so sick of feeling like I have to defend myself. Sometimes DH is amazing at sticking up for me (like the times that his awful mother said all that stuff), but other times he just doesn't get it at all, and basically let's people know by his inactions that it's totally ok to treat me like crap.

Ugh, can I just hide under a rock for a few days? Sorry this got so long, thanks if you got all the way to the end of this. I would offer you something for reading it all, but all I really have is a ton of people that I wish would disappear, and that's no treat.

emd2887

Ugh sorry you are dealing with all of that. I have no advise about the family issues, but that stinks that your ILs are behaving like that. 

As to the labor questions, maybe you should start sending texts to all the offenders whenever you are up in the middle of the night that say "just wanted to let you know...I'm NOT in labor yet." 

orangegoggles

emd2887:

Ugh sorry you are dealing with all of that. I have no advise about the family issues, but that stinks that your ILs are behaving like that. 

As to the labor questions, maybe you should start sending texts to all the offenders whenever you are up in the middle of the night that say "just wanted to let you know...I'm NOT in labor yet." 

Haha now that would be funny!

OP- Sorry that you are dealing with this. Hope the family issues ease up for you. (Hugs)

pottermommy

I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of this right now of all times.  I would be pissed if someone texted me at 10. Unless it was an emergency.   Shoot our phones don't even ring after 9 and when one of DH friends call his cell and it wakes me up I get angry. 

There is no reason that your DH should allow them to treat you that way.  I get it though I really do, my IL's treat me like crap 90% of the time and my DH is constantly saying that it is between me and them and he wants to stay out of it.  But they are his family and the way I figure it, if he expects me or our son to have a relationship with them, then he will handle it and soon. 

I hope he steps up and realises how hard it is for you to be getting ready to have a baby and dealing with all this.  Just know that you aren't alone. 

Foolish5336

Thank you for all of your support, ladies. DH and I hashed it out, and ended up on much better terms than when I had first written this, so I'm feeling a little bit better. I just honestly wish I could bury my head for a few weeks, and come back out when baby is here, and all the family that is coming out to visit disappears!

emd2887:

As to the labor questions, maybe you should start sending texts to all the offenders whenever you are up in the middle of the night that say "just wanted to let you know...I'm NOT in labor yet." 

Also, I think I may have to do this. And then when they don't respond, I'll send it couple more times to be sure that they didn't miss the message!

HBaylies

I remember that MIL story.  DH's just suck sometimes, plain and simple.  And as for all the nosey people, that's top notch annoying.  I just completely ignore people that annoy me with nosey questions or requests to visit me (Since when is it okay to invite yourself to someone else's home when you weren't even invited?).  Texts, FB messages, emails, voicemails, etc...  If I'm not up for a chat or uninvited visit, I'm not answering you.  I hope things start looking up with DH and the masses of people start getting the hint and backing off soon.