BM won't answer DH's calls ....

HisChamaoleGirl

DH and I returned to Hawaii from Iraq this week and since we have been back DH has been attempting to get a hold of SS. BM knows we are back and she has not answered her phone or returned any of DHs calls. I am upset for DH and I am upset bc we are trying to plan our Christmas visitation; which is near impossible to do since she won't answer her phone. At this point it sounds like DH will have to fly to Guam and show up at BMs house. This could get ugly, but I hope it doesn't get to that point. 

Littlejen22

Ugh, I really hope that does not happen especially since the police might not force her to let him see SS.  She is military right?  Is it possible to call her CO (I know nothing about military so excuse my knowledge) and talk to them, I remember reading that advice on here before.  Or if not call the police to do a check for SS' well-being?  And I cannot remember if you have a lawyer that you can make call her lawyer or her directly.

And the inappropriate comment, part of me giggled about having to go to Guam, since that usually does not mean he literally would have to go to Guam but in this case he would!

 

 

wintersnight20

I'd call the police and ask them to just check in on SS since ya'll are worried...Bet she calls ya'll back real quick!

HisChamaoleGirl

Actually we are the ones who are military. Guam is where DH and BM are from and SS lives there. I am not sure what inappropriate comment you are referring to since DH would have to go to Guam to see his son. It is our plan to be on island for the holiday anyway, but this time instead of BM meeting us for the drop off, we may have to find SS ourselves.

Littlejen22

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:

Actually we are the ones who are military. Guam is where DH and BM are from and SS lives there. I am not sure what inappropriate comment you are referring to since DH would have to go to Guam to see his son. It is our plan to be on island for the holiday anyway, but this time instead of BM meeting us for the drop off, we may have to find SS ourselves.

I meant that I laughed to myself which was inappropriate, not that you were inappropriate!  I felt bad that I found the comment that he would have to fly to Guam funny.  I know you literally meant he had to go to Guam but growing up I heard people use "Guam" to mean somewhere far away, so it was like saying he had to fly far away.  Ugh, it does not translate as remotely funny when I type it!  Sorry for the confusion.

I really hope you get it resolved before Christmas.  Do you think the police would check on them or maybe DH has a relative or friend still there that can help?

HisChamaoleGirl

Yes MIL is on island and she watched him last weekend (we were still in Iraq) so there are people to check on him outside of the authorities for us. It's just petty that she won't answer the phone for DH. 

HisChamaoleGirl

Littlejen22:

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:

Actually we are the ones who are military. Guam is where DH and BM are from and SS lives there. I am not sure what inappropriate comment you are referring to since DH would have to go to Guam to see his son. It is our plan to be on island for the holiday anyway, but this time instead of BM meeting us for the drop off, we may have to find SS ourselves.

I meant that I laughed to myself which was inappropriate, not that you were inappropriate!  I felt bad that I found the comment that he would have to fly to Guam funny.  I know you literally meant he had to go to Guam but growing up I heard people use "Guam" to mean somewhere far away, so it was like saying he had to fly far away.  Ugh, it does not translate as remotely funny when I type it!  Sorry for the confusion.

I really hope you get it resolved before Christmas.  Do you think the police would check on them or maybe DH has a relative or friend still there that can help?

Ok I understand what you meant now! I kept reading my post over and questioned what I wrote to find something inappropriate. 

 

Yes we have family on island who can check for us I just wish she wouldn't do this bc in the end it hurts SS.  

Ilumine

Ok, you NEED to document every single call, ie get print outs from your cell/phone company.

Then for the next 48 hours, you need to blow up her phone.  Call every hour on the hour until she answers. 

Make every single voice mail calm and collected at first, then after 24 hours, give her notice that you are getting worried about SS and her and that if you do not hear from her in 12 hours you are going to have to call the police to do a welfare check.  Make it ALL about being worried, not angry.

Then if she still does not call her, then you call the cops.  Make sure you get a written record of this, to include a case number.

Then you call your lawyer.

Phantomgirl

I feel like there is something from the past that plays into this and I can't really recall it.

What happened the last time SS was with you guys?  Did he suggest that your SIL son or someone was molesting him?

Am I confusing you with someone else?

How did that play out and do you think that si why BM is withholding him?

It just that if I felt my son was being exposed to the slightest danger while in your care I would not only not answer my phone, I would ditch the number and move.

Sorry if I am confusing you with someone else.

Wahoo

How old is SS?  Have you thought about getting him his own cell phone?  One that you limit to calls to you, and maybe MIL?

HisChamaoleGirl

Phantomgirl:

I feel like there is something from the past that plays into this and I can't really recall it.

What happened the last time SS was with you guys?  Did he suggest that your SIL son or someone was molesting him?

Am I confusing you with someone else?

How did that play out and do you think that si why BM is withholding him?

It just that if I felt my son was being exposed to the slightest danger while in your care I would not only not answer my phone, I would ditch the number and move.

Sorry if I am confusing you with someone else.

Wheb SS was with us last summer he TOLD SIL that a friend of BMs son was molesting him. This is another reason DH is worried bc he hasn't heard from SS and we know she continues to take SS there. 

ambiep

I am so sorry my SS's BM was and is the exact same way. We used to have to drive 2 hours to her house and wait around for her to get home so we could get SS for our weekend visitation because she wouldn't answer the phone or return any calls. Some weekends we had to call the police and get them involved. Now SS is the same way with returning calls. If he doesn't "feel" like it he doesn't I hope everything with your SS is ok. It is nerve wrecking!!!

HisChamaoleGirl

Wahoo:

How old is SS?  Have you thought about getting him his own cell phone?  One that you limit to calls to you, and maybe MIL?

SS will be 8 in January and we have talked about the option of getting him his own cell phone. We would either have to get him a prepaid phone and have BM purchase him calling cards or we could look into getting him on a plan on one of the providers in Guam. Adding him to our current AT&T plan would not be possible bc the charges we would receive from him making calls on Guam would break the bank. When we go visit Guam for the holiday we will look into the cell phone option more, but it will partially rely on BM to participate.