Am I crazy ?!?!

MrsS2203

I am considering getting pregnant again(not soon, after DS is 1). I just don't "feel" that our family is complete. After my horrible,not the worlds worst, I want/need a re-do. Am I crazy for wanting another child since I have mild PPD? Is it wrong that I want another child so that I can have a natural birth(i understand there are no guarantees)? I know DH will be thrilled I'm even considering another, he wants a large family.

BrideNamedMeg

Put it this way, I think it's normal to get baby fever soon after having one, I know I experienced that after my DD was born, but give it some time.  After she turned 1, was mobile and a lot more work, that put a damper on my desire to have another one right away!  If I had waited until she was three I may never have had another  

We have two now and I still don't feel that our family is complete and  know MH feels the same way.  We definitely want another one someday but we'll be taking our time and deciding when the time is right for our family.  It's a conversation we've had and will revisit as time goes on.

I would be careful with the PPD, it doesn't always come back the second time around, but if it does it supposedly comes back worse - this was definitely true for my sister but they had a plan in place already with her doctor to deal with it, which helped tremendously.  

MrsS2203

BrideNamedMeg:

Put it this way, I think it's normal to get baby fever soon after having one, I know I experienced that after my DD was born, but give it some time.  After she turned 1, was mobile and a lot more work, that put a damper on my desire to have another one right away!  If I had waited until she was three I may never have had another  

We have two now and I still don't feel that our family is complete and  know MH feels the same way.  We definitely want another one someday but we'll be taking our time and deciding when the time is right for our family.  It's a conversation we've had and will revisit as time goes on.

I would be careful with the PPD, it doesn't always come back the second time around, but if it does it supposedly comes back worse - this was definitely true for my sister but they had a plan in place already with her doctor to deal with it, which helped tremendously.  

I'll 1000% have a plan in place for the PPD.  I honestly believe the PPD has more to do with the birth experience.  I do know if it comes back I'll be done, too risky.

 I told Hubby that I'd rather have babies now and go it all at once vs grow up,repeat(huge age gap).

Kristinmo

Nothing wrong with having another baby after PPD. You will be monitored more closely and will recognize the red flags sooner if you do have it again. 

But ditto PP that your thoughts may change once LO is mobile.  

 

 

Kristine Schilling

It is fine, and totally normal to want another child. you are not crazy.

What I noticed in your post was that you seem to want another child to "make up for" the bad experience. With the tough birth, and the PPD, are you looking at another PG and birth as a healing process? If you are, i can totally relate.

Bad PG with DD. Bed rest sucked, had depression so bad during PG they had me evaluated. Labor stalled, epi and pit, emergency CS, tiny baby. severe PPD....

We went the opposite route, I did not plan to get PG again, this was an opps. Literally, the condom broke and the plan B one step didnt work. After the anger, the frustration of knowing "I am going to go through this again, but with a toddler in tow!" I started to realize something.... This could be different. This PG could be better, easier, maybe even a chance to reset my poor hormone and med crazed brain to some form of normalness.

I am praying for a nice, natural VBAC. 

MrsS2203

Kristine Schilling:

It is fine, and totally normal to want another child. you are not crazy.

What I noticed in your post was that you seem to want another child to "make up for" the bad experience. With the tough birth, and the PPD, are you looking at another PG and birth as a healing process? If you are, i can totally relate. To some degree yes.  If this were the only reason I wouldn't even consider another. 

Bad PG with DD. Bed rest sucked, had depression so bad during PG they had me evaluated. Labor stalled, epi and pit, emergency CS, tiny baby. severe PPD....

We went the opposite route, I did not plan to get PG again, this was an opps. Literally, the condom broke and the plan B one step didnt work. After the anger, the frustration of knowing "I am going to go through this again, but with a toddler in tow!" I started to realize something.... This could be different. This PG could be better, easier, maybe even a chance to reset my poor hormone and med crazed brain to some form of normalness.

I am praying for a nice, natural VBAC. I pray you get your VBAC.

MrsS2203

Kristinmo:

Nothing wrong with having another baby after PPD. You will be monitored more closely and will recognize the red flags sooner if you do have it again. 

But ditto PP that your thoughts may change once LO is mobile.  

 

LOL Im pretty sure I'll be thinking I'm super crazy for even considering once DS becomes mobile.

abell77

I don't think it's crazy to want two kids close together, but I would be sure that you work to resolve whatever feelings you have about what you didn't like about your last birth before you get pregnant.  Come to a resolution first, don't rush to have another child so that you can "re-do" the birth experience.  Two kids, especially two close in age, is alot of work.  You can't re-do a birth experience, so just work to come to terms with what happened in the past and then move forward.

catsinawindow

MrsS2203:

I am considering getting pregnant again(not soon, after DS is 1). I just don't "feel" that our family is complete. After my horrible,not the worlds worst, I want/need a re-do. Am I crazy for wanting another child since I have mild PPD? Is it wrong that I want another child so that I can have a natural birth(i understand there are no guarantees)? I know DH will be thrilled I'm even considering another, he wants a large family.

I didn't have PPD after having DS, but I would definately categorize my birth in the "horrible, not the world's worst" category.  We need to wait a few years to TTC again due to financial constraints, and I'll admit, I'm not too happy about needing to wait another 3 years or so.

I definately feel like my family is not yet complete (I'd like 3 eventually) but I do feel like a big part of this "baby fever" is because I want to have that natural birth that I planned and anticipated for so long.  It does seem like the wrong reason to want to get PG again, but it's how I feel.  I probably need to work through these unresolved issues too.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in feeling this way.  And, no, you're not crazy.

 

MrsS2203

Glad I'm not alone!  I'm in counseling to work on my PPD/anxiety.  I plan to remain in counseling until better and if I take a break resume during pregnancy.