Did you leave the hospital with flowers/balloons etc. if your preemie stayed behind?

flutepharm87

I was watching 16 and Pregnant last night (I know, it's a guilty pleasure) and every single one of those mommies left the hospital with so much "new mommy" stuff, it was incredible! Balloons, flowers, stuffed animals...it would have impossible to tell that they were new moms. Maybe I'm just sensitive about everything that happened to us, but I'm really sad because this didn't happen for me. I left the hospital with no fanfare and no babies. No one made a big deal that I was admitted to the hospital pregnant and I left (7 weeks and 4 days later) as a mommy. No one made a big deal with Ian was discharged or when Jack was discharged 15 days later. I already missed out on so much due to being on bedrest and having preemies and, while I know this isn't a huge deal in the long run, it bothers me. Moral of the story: if someone you know has a preemie, make sure to acknowledge that they're a new mom. Even small gestures make a big difference.

So, did anyone give you little presents to leave the hospital with after your kiddos were born, even if you left them behind?

AlwaysSunny925

Actually, yes.  Many friends sent me flowers, family stopped by with balloons and stuffed animals and outfits for the babies.  So, yes, I did leave the hospital with a lot of stuff.  DH actually had to make a few trips to the car.  But that didn't change the fact that I balled my eyes out as I was wheeled out of the hospital.  Leaving babyless sucked.

I'm sorry you didn't get the new mommy stuff. I wish I could send you some new mommy gear through the computer. 

JakesBride07

I was surprised that I did get two flower deliveries. One from a friend of the family (they were bright and cheery and said Congrats!) and one from DH's Aunt hers was a bit more "traditional" and said "Thinking of You" on the card.

MIL bought me a locket and put pics of the twins in it so that I could still take them home in some way. I was beyond touched by that.

You are right that it does make a huge difference and brings some normallcy to it all.

katie4253

Yes, when Gabe was born I got balloons, a fruit bouquet, and flowers.  I also had visitors in the hospital once I was placed on bed rest.

  We didn't get anything when he came home though.  I kind of wished someone had come and decorated the house or something.  One of those "It's a Boy" signs or something.  But, we didn't tell ANYONE he was coming home until we were on our way home.  We were too afraid to jinx ourselves.  

kck329

I'm sorry you didn't get those things. There are so many little things we didn't get as preemie parents. Its not fair.

I got some flowers when she was born. Honestly, it was so surreal to me that I didn't really register them. I wasn't ready to hear the "congratulations" or celebrations that came with them yet. My mom went and bought a couple beautiful way to expensive preemie sleepers and a stuffed bunny that we could leave with her (she still sleeps with it today!). Those items were really special.

My DH was actually really sad we didn't get balloons or a yard sign, especially because our neighbors had both for their term baby who arrived the day before DD. I mentioned that to my one of my NICU friends and on the day we were discharged, she showed up at our bedside with a huge bunch of balloons for him to put in the yard. It was so touching, especially since she knew exactly how we felt. 

njdcgirl

No, we had nothing from the hospital, but honestly I wouldn't have wanted anything at that point. We didn't even know if DS was going to make it, so any and all congrats that I got felt horribly wrong to me. I did get a few flower deliveries at home, but they were more thinking/praying for you. When DS was released (147 days later) my parents did get some balloons and put them outside. I think a "welcome home" one and "it's a boy" too. That was nice!!

May524

Yes. We received TONS of flowers actually (more than I did with DS1). It was great to feel like it was such a joyous event even thought I was so scared since DS2 was 15oz when born.

Snorkel30

Don't feel bad, I didn't get anything like that either. I'm sure it would have helped, since I felt pretty depressed afterwards. I went through a rough period there. But just try to focus on the positive, and look over at your precious babies and be grateful you have them, that's what I've been doing. There's a lot that didn't go as planned, or how I pictured it, but at least I have a healthy baby home with me, and that's really the most important thing. I try not to think about the other stuff. I know it's hard sometimes, but that's just what you need to do to get through it.

Sorry you didn't get anything like flowers or balloons  

haziedaze

No balloons or flowers here either! Actually some family said they were waiting to send something until he came home and was "ok"- kinda bummed me out! Several friends did send gifts in the week or two after he was born and then we got flooded with gifts after he came home. Def know what you mean about feeling like you missed out. I always thought I'd have flowers AND a baby in my hospital room with me!

hunt2005

JakesBride07:

MIL bought me a locket and put pics of the twins in it so that I could still take them home in some way. I was beyond touched by that.

I teared up at that. Such a sweet idea and I will be stealing it for anyone I know with preemies in the future. Too cute.

I had balloons that my mom had ordered me, and we left them in the maternity ward social room, and I had two flower vases that had already started to die anyways, so we dumped the flowers and brought just the vases home. I had tons of stuff, but it was all from my stay, not gifts for babies. I did get blankets and hats from the hospital (a local group knits for all new moms), so we got to bring those home in a bag. I didn't even get wheeled out, I just walked to the elevator like I did every time my hubby took me to dinner, no fanfare at all.

jcsntms06

I got several flower arrangements and a few balloons and teddy bears for DD. Now when she came home from the hospital, I didn't get anything, but that's okay. I was finally leaving with my baby girl.

MommynTeacher

My room was filled with flowers but I didn't take any of them home with me. I didn't want them at home becuase I didn't feel like celebrating, I was too sad. I gave them to the nurses.

COmommy

MommynTeacher:

My room was filled with flowers but I didn't take any of them home with me. I didn't want them at home becuase I didn't feel like celebrating, I was too sad. I gave them to the nurses.

Ditto this.  

SushiNoMore

We didn't get anything when I was discharged because we were living in a hotel.  I was only in the hospital for about 16 hours after my son was born (he was transfered to another hospital, so I was discharged to be with him), so there was no time to arrange flowers, etc.  Plus, we didn't really have a permanent place, and I don't think people wanted to send us a bunch of stuff that we'd have to transport back home.

That being said, I was really bitter for quite awhile that I didn't get any of that stuff.  It still makes me sad that I didn't get it.  We got some fruit baskets and presents later, but I feel sad that I didn't get to leave the hospital with a bunch of fanfare. 

kloc2006

I did not get any flowers, balloons, etc. when my preemie was born.  I remember being really bitter.  I was really upset, because she was my second child and I remembered getting all those things with my term baby.  People also didn't come to visit.  It was like if they couldn't come hold the baby, they were not coming to visit.

 The day my daughter came home, I sent my husband down to the gift shop to buy balloons.  I felt like my daughter deserved a coming home picture that had balloons in it! 

JeepersWife

I am tearing up over this, ladies! I did get balloons and several flower arrangements after DS was born. I stayed in the hospital for a few days to monitor my BP and because I had a c-section. The flowers died before DS came home, but the balloons (Mylar) stayed filled long after his arrival. They didnt matter, though, when we left without our son. I think we were both sad, angry and depressed that day and did a lot of crying till we told ourselves we had to be strong...The day DS came home a friend came with DH and I to the hospital to be our "photographer" and we went home with our hands full of baby belongings and freebies and the nurse walked out carrying DS who was in his seat (I think that is their policy) and when we got home we had too many visitors to count. It was also a busy time because a hurricane came throughout just a few days before and we were still out of electricity (we had a generator though). I will be sure to always give flowers or balloons to new mommies now, whether they have a preemie or not.

skells

I didn't get anything and i'm still a little jaded because of it. Both sides of our family live 6 hours away and DS was born very unexpectedly on Dec 23rd. I was discharged the next morning so I don't think anyone had time to send anything to the hospital. I had 1 flower arrangement (from my boss) delivered at our house and that was it! I think I had expected exactly what you had envisioned, but no, may next time.

OscarQ

I received a beautiful flower arrangement from my office.  And an aunt (who worked at the hospital) stopped by to drop off a stuffed animal.  Otherwise, that was it.

I actually wheeled myself out of the hospital (actually I wheeled my wheelchair up to the NICU, visited my son and then pushed my wheelchair full of $hit out of the hospital.

I'm a preemie mom odd ball.  Kevin was born so early that I just never thought twice about going home without him.  My brain (and my heart) were very much in the "what the heck can I do for him when the kid can't even breath without two machines?" mode.  I resigned myself from the start to a very long NICU stay so I think that made it easier in a way.

Not to minimize your experience at all -  if Kevin had been born later, it would have been a different story.  I'm just really clinical sometimes.

You deserved to leave the hospital with something.  When we brought our son home we had a sign up in front of our house, my mom brought us balloons and our neighbors made "Welcome Home!" signs.

Every baby deserves to be celebrated. 

Irishsapphire

We left with flowers and ballons.  We still have the plant and the stuffed animals.  I think a lot of relatives and friends were hesitant to send gift until my son came home from the hospital 35 days later.  And both baby showers were postponed.  It worked out.  But yes, I was a little disappointed--it felt like people missed his birthday.  We went all out for his 1st birthday, and he celebrated his birthday with family and friends. 

urbanflowerpot

My friend brought me a single yellow rose the morning after DS was born - I treasure it. We received other little gifts during his stay but not what you're talking about...

that. that scene that you're referring to was the daily parade that was forced down my throat as I came through the hospital's front door. Maternity pick-up is right out front. I thought everyone had to go through that - it made me so upset. I couldn't wait to have DS in my arms and get my picture at the curb - and I got it

IncogNeato

I didn't get anything but I don't think it was because LO was a preemie. My friends just don't really do flowers/balloons. I definitely didn't have the typical discharge, though, since there was no wheelchair, no baby, and DH and I were still in shock. We hadn't known that LO would have to stay until that morning so we basically just took off so we could bring our things home, shower, and come back for the evening feed. We had to walk past the little reception that they were holding with all the parents and babies getting to leave. That was awful.

It was pretty depressing.

JosiePosy

No, but my parents did buy me a small Christmas tree for my room when I was at the hospital on bedrest. They knew I'd be there for the long haul, so they wanted me to have a little holiday cheer in the room.

ETA: Also, my SIL brought the girls little penguins the day they were born. They were put in with each baby. We also received a stocking for each girl with books and a few small toys that were donated from another family who was previously in the NICU. So we did get a few things.

damabo80

Yes. When I  gave birth, people brought balloons and flowers. So, I was wheeled out of the hospital with balloons, flowers,  but no baby. When we brought her home, we didn't have balloons or flowers, but instead we had bags and bags of stuff (her clothes, blankets, all our stuff we kept in the cupboard in her room, etc)

faeriequeeneonwow

I got two different flower arrangements - one from my dad's office, and I don't remember who the others were from. I got some balloons attached to one of the bouquets. I also got a couple of gift baskets from friends at home (I was in a hospital 3 hours away), and then had some friends in town bring by a few outfits and other things for Soph.

When I was discharged it was 9 at night, I wasn't in a wheelchair, and DH was loading up the car to head back home while I was getting into my mom's car to go home with her. Going out with all the balloons and flowers made it all the more real that I was leaving my baby at the hospital and it wasn't the way discharge should be. I was bawling over leaving DD and DH going back home at the same time. Once I got to my mom's I told her to put the balloons in the closet because I couldn't stand to look at them, and the flowers stayed in the kitchen so I didn't have to wake up to them in my room every morning.

When Soph was discharged we were given some extra stuff from her cart and a little bag of stuff from the NICU staff, but there was no fanfare for her homecoming.