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2 years

goillini823goillini823 member
in Late Term and Child Loss

I can't believe tomorrow will be 2 years since we found out Gabriel didn't have a heartbeat. We went in to find out my baby's gender, not to get the most devastating news we possibly could. We were going to reveal the gender to our families at Thanksgiving dinner. Instead I remember just sitting at my moms house on a couch so numb. I remember feeling like a lost little puppy with no hope in life. I wanted the earth to swallow me.

 Its been a long not so easy road since than. I miss him a lot, and often wonder what could've been. Yea, the tears stop flowing every minute of every hour. As a matter of fact the tears are far and between, but my heart still breaks into a million pieces Everytime I think of what happened. I miss him!

I guess I'm at the point of where I'm grateful to have been chosen to have been a mom to an angel, and thankful for the 20 beautiful weeks I did get to carry him. Thanksgiving will never be  the same, but I'm grateful for this board.  

Andrea 7/9/08, Joaquin 4/18/11, boy coming 12/18/13 Forever missed: Gabriel 11/24/09 at 20 weeks
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Re: 2 years

  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    That was beautiful and I couldn't agree more. ((hugs))
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  • hewinkedhewinked
    (((hugs))
    imageimageimage
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  • krysiahamatykrysiahamaty
    Big hugs. 
    TTC since November 2009. DH diagnosed with sperm antibodies. IUI #1 = BFN IUI #2 = BFN On the road to IVF.... Egg Retrieval Jan 21, 2011 16 eggs retrieved Egg transfer Jan 26, 2011 Only 2 viable eggs transferred. 1 IVF, 1 ICSI IVF #1 = BFP :-) 10/3/11 No heart beat at 38 weeks: Our baby Jack became an angel 12/14/11 = natural BFP Rainbow baby Samantha Jacklyn born8/8/12. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • weddedwifeweddedwife member
    Thank you for saying the tears stop flowing every minute of every hour. It gives me hope.
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  • lindsayquinnsylindsayquinnsy

    That was lovely.  It is not the same, because I was only nine weeks, but I just found out today that our little one has no heartbeat.  It is going to be hard to cook and be merry tomorrow.  My heart goes out to you.  This is the saddest I have ever been in my life.  I know I was mother, if oly for a short time, because I couldn't feel this much pain if I was not.

     

    BFP: 10/3/11 Missed m/c: 11/23/11 D&C 11/29/11 BabyFruit Ticker
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  • johnnys junejohnnys june member
    *hugs*
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  • goillini823goillini823 member

    imageweddedwife:
    Thank you for saying the tears stop flowing every minute of every hour. It gives me hope.

    As hard as it is to believe right now, they do. I know it doesn't feel like that right now, it just happens. Not that it makes it any less painful, but I guess you just begin to adapt to a new normal.

    Lots of hugs to all of you during the holidays. It's not an easy time, but you'll make it through. I promise. I really am so grateful for this board.  

    Andrea 7/9/08, Joaquin 4/18/11, boy coming 12/18/13 Forever missed: Gabriel 11/24/09 at 20 weeks
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  • illinigalillinigal member
    Hugs.  I'm so sorry.  
    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • CaroleeCarolee member
    Big (((HUGS)))
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
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  • butterfly843butterfly843
    ((Hugs))

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

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  • starrkitten89starrkitten89
    (((Hugs)))

    Lilypie - (yNYF)

    Lilypie - (bSes)

    T1 diabetes diagnosed 11/95 due to severe pancreatic injury
    BFP 1 1/22/10 EDD 9/30/10 Adria b. 9/11/10 d.8/9/11, Transposition of the Great Arteries,
    Pleural effusion, Kidney Failure
    BFP 2 4/26/12 EDD 1/3/13 M/C 5/13/12
    BFP 3 10/3/12 EDD 6/17/13 Twins! Preston and Juliet b. 5/22/13

     

     

     

     

     

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  • pb127pb127 member
    Lots of (((hugs))) and thinking of you.
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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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    ? to Loss+M/PL+TTCAL+PgAL+PAL

    PgAL/PAL welcome
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