Question from a lurker

jenn0021

I've been lurking on this board for a bit as we are starting to look into adoption. DH and I haven't actually made any decisions but it has been something we've been discussing. I have been reading some of your blogs and am really enjoying learning more.

I know that adoption laws are different depending on where you live. I was wondering if any of you were from Canada, more specifically Ontario? I don't really know anyone IRL who has adopted (that I know of) and would love to hear more stories and learn more from people who have done so or are in the process of adopting. Also if you had any recommendations for websites or places to get more info, I would love to hear it. I checked out the FAQs at the top of the page and I'm going to try and get my hands on a copy of Adoption for Dummies. I'm still in the very very beginning phase as I am just starting to research more.

Sorry if this post is out of line. If so, please accept my apologies.

kekis

I don't have any insights re: adoption laws, but I wanted to welcome you!  Your post is not out of line at all.  You've found the right place to ask.  Everyone here is so friendly and helpful, so I'm sure you can get some advice/guidance from someone more experienced than I am.

jenn0021

Thanks for the welcome!

miss1180

our general story- i was born with Turner's Syndrome. Basically, women are supposed to have 2 X chromosomes- i have one, and only part of the other one. One of the affects is that my ovaries aren't forms, so i don't make eggs. To get pregnant at all i would have to use a donor egg with IVF. they don't recommend it because of possible health problems for me that could happen with a pregnancy.

  Luckily, i found all of this out when i was about 7 years old... my mom told me, and talked up the idea of adoption and helping a kid who needs a  family. so, basically, i've know i would adopt since i was a kid myself. Luckily, when i met DH and told him all of this, he was completely on board. we did A LOT of research into different options. Dh wasn't comfortable with domestic because, in his mind, he was nervous about a birthmother changing her mind after we had invested a lot of time and money. SO we started to look into international.

   I had always wanted to adopt a little girl from china- but the wait is now close to 3 or 4 years for a match!!!! then, we read about the korea program. the kids are in foster homes, not orphages- which really helps with their attachment and development once they come home. The health care over there is also extremely good- pretty close to what it is here.... and the babies go for monthly check ups.

  so, in February, we started the process with Holt International. in august, we got matched with an adorable baby boy!!!! he just turned a year old on 11/9- and should be home in the spring :-)

smith486

You have come to the perfect place! I do not know anything about adoption law in Canada since I live in the US, but I cannot imagine that it would be too different (although I could be very wrong). I am glad you are getting Adoption for Dummies. I recommend getting it from your local library because you will most likely not need to read it more than once, also I found a few other really good adoption books while I was at our public library. 

If you choose adoption as the path for you, you will first need to decided if international or domestic adoption fits you better. Adoption for Dummies will spell out both options and help you decide. (DH and I really want an infant... well I want an infant, I think DH would be fine with whatever... so we chose domestic adoption because it is more difficult to get an actual infant with international adoption.) 

Then you will need to determine if you want to use an agency, lawyer, or go all on your own to find a birthmother. (DH and I chose to use an agency, however your agency let us push the "pause" button with them if we found a match on our own, which we did! So if this match doesn't work out, we will resume with our agency like nothing happened. If it does work, at least the agency got us through our home study and getting ready.) 

I am not really sure what happens from there with adoption in Canada. This board is very supportive and is a great place to find answers to questions like you have. Hopefully a Canadian will come on here and have all the answers!

Good luck and stick around. )  

jenn0021

miss1180:

our general story- i was born with Turner's Syndrome. Basically, women are supposed to have 2 X chromosomes- i have one, and only part of the other one. One of the affects is that my ovaries aren't forms, so i don't make eggs. To get pregnant at all i would have to use a donor egg with IVF. they don't recommend it because of possible health problems for me that could happen with a pregnancy.

  Luckily, i found all of this out when i was about 7 years old... my mom told me, and talked up the idea of adoption and helping a kid who needs a  family. so, basically, i've know i would adopt since i was a kid myself. Luckily, when i met DH and told him all of this, he was completely on board. we did A LOT of research into different options. Dh wasn't comfortable with domestic because, in his mind, he was nervous about a birthmother changing her mind after we had invested a lot of time and money. SO we started to look into international.

   I had always wanted to adopt a little girl from china- but the wait is now close to 3 or 4 years for a match!!!! then, we read about the korea program. the kids are in foster homes, not orphages- which really helps with their attachment and development once they come home. The health care over there is also extremely good- pretty close to what it is here.... and the babies go for monthly check ups.

  so, in February, we started the process with Holt International. in august, we got matched with an adorable baby boy!!!! he just turned a year old on 11/9- and should be home in the spring :-)

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I think it's great that you are adopting internationally. And yay for your little boy! Hopefully time flies and spring comes quickly for you.

jenn0021

smith486:

You have come to the perfect place! I do not know anything about adoption law in Canada since I live in the US, but I cannot imagine that it would be too different (although I could be very wrong). I am glad you are getting Adoption for Dummies. I recommend getting it from your local library because you will most likely not need to read it more than once, also I found a few other really good adoption books while I was at our public library. 

If you choose adoption as the path for you, you will first need to decided if international or domestic adoption fits you better. Adoption for Dummies will spell out both options and help you decide. (DH and I really want an infant... well I want an infant, I think DH would be fine with whatever... so we chose domestic adoption because it is more difficult to get an actual infant with international adoption.) 

Then you will need to determine if you want to use an agency, lawyer, or go all on your own to find a birthmother. (DH and I chose to use an agency, however your agency let us push the "pause" button with them if we found a match on our own, which we did! So if this match doesn't work out, we will resume with our agency like nothing happened. If it does work, at least the agency got us through our home study and getting ready.) 

I am not really sure what happens from there with adoption in Canada. This board is very supportive and is a great place to find answers to questions like you have. Hopefully a Canadian will come on here and have all the answers!

Good luck and stick around. )  

Thanks for the info. I don't think my library actually carries Adoption for Dummies. I couldn't find it on their online site but I will go in and look for it later this week. I am trying to look up adoption laws in Canada too. Hopefully everything works out with the BM you have and you get your take home baby soon.

jenn0021

toothpastechica:

I'm in Canada, but in BC, and adoptions in canada are regulated provincially, so you will have to look up ontario specific information. However a comment on someones comment is that as far as I have heard (I currently work at an adoption support center), adoptions must be done by the government (through the child and family services department) or through a liscenced agency. I have not heard of anywhere in canada that a lawyer can facilitate an adoption.

Try these links:

www.adoptontario.ca

www.adoption.on.ca/

www.children.gov.on.ca/htdocs/English/topics/adoption

https://www.canadaadopts.com/canada/resources_priagencies.shtml

 

Thanks for all the links! I will definitely look at them all. I know that things change provincially so I will definitely keep that in mind. I do think I need to work with an agency, or at least that's what I have read in most of my research I've done up to now.