GTKY: Would you adopt

Beccaboo0713

The question doesn't really fit me since I have 2 kids but DH and I were talking about how we would like to adopt later on if we can't get pregnant. We are starting to save for it now and would look at adoption 10 or so years down the road. If we did adopt we would look into maybe a child 4 or under.

BenandSuzy

bostonbluejay:

vpine:

We wouldn't. I just don't think it would be the same, I would assume children weren't meant for me and God didn't want us to conceive for a reason, adoption isn't for us.

I am not at all going to bash on your beliefs, but I just have an issue with that last statement.  So, do you think that any woman who can't conceive can't conceive because God doesn't want them to?  I'm honestly just asking for clarification.  

And if you truly believe that way, then wouldn't you think that you may not conceive because God means for you to adopt?  Do you think that people who adopt are going against God's wishes?  Again, just asking for clarification...

 

I also have to ask, are orphans not meant to have parents?

 My son, said he was sad In a picture of himself at the orphanage, because he didn't have a mom and a dad.  They desperately want that.  In school, when talking about Gifts God gives us, he says his mom and dad and family.  And we don't talk about that, so it didn't come from us.  When other kids are thanking God for TVs and video games, etc. he is happy for a mom and dad.  

 

 

Kathy4678

sweetpea2003:

Yes, I would adopt.

That being said, adoption isn't a band aid for infertility treatments.  To me, it is a calling that you have to have aside from the situation.

I'm not saying that infertile people who adopt are using it as a band aid.  Just that they have to process their grief of not being able to have biological children and then move on to exploring whether adoption is something that is good for their family.  I HATE IT when people tell infertile couples to "just adopt" - it is sooooooo not that simple.

Adoption has been something that has been in my heart since long before I found out about our IF.  I'm not sure if we will ever do it, it is extremely expensive and very stressful (no guarantees), but I would definitely do it under the right set of circumstances.  Only time will tell I guess.

Very well said.

smittie417

I am open to it and DH and I discussed this before marriage in case we couldn't have bio kids we wanted to be on the same page.  DH would do it, but it is soooo expensive it would prob take a long time before we could save up.  FX we can get pregnant on our own!

Patches08

No, we wouldn't. I'm a birthmom ... My daughter was adopted at birth 7 years ago. DH and I have been TTC for about 2 years now and if we are unsuccessful in the long run then we will be child free. ETA: I always wanted to adopt ... Until I was on the other end of the equation. We also will not pursue any medications or treatment in regards to having children.

GermanGirl2007

Yes. But we would consider adoption even if we do have our own biological children. I don't think the two are mutually exclusive.