So, I'm officially held hostage FOREVER!!

NotSharknado

I had no choice but to leave DD with DH last night so I could go to my son's teacher conference. I was gone only 15 mins before DH called during the meeting. The baby was hysterically crying that even the teacher heard her! I of course had to cut the meeting short and race home. By the time I got there she was SHAKING! It scared the hell out of me. As soon as I took her from DH she immediately stopped screaming. We are both scared to death to leave her alone with him again. I feel like I'm never going to be able to leave the house again. I don't know how I'm going to get Christmas shopping done. I feel defeated. Please tell me I'm not the only one.

NotSharknado

shanado:

I had no choice but to leave DD with DH last night so I could go to my son's teacher conference. I was gone only 15 mins before DH called during the meeting. The baby was hysterically crying that even the teacher heard her! I of course had to cut the meeting short and race home. By the time I got there she was SHAKING! It scared the hell out of me. As soon as I took her from DH she immediately stopped screaming. We are both scared to death to leave her alone with him again. I feel like I'm never going to be able to leave the house again. I don't know how I'm going to get Christmas shopping done. I feel defeated. Please tell me I'm not the only one.

I forgot to mention she hates her carseat/car so taking her with me is also impossible.

JaysonandKristin

For the immediate future, yes, you're a hostage.  Forever?  No way, SISTER!!

She'll come around.  Babies can smell fear, tell your DH to man up!! ;P  just kidding!!

Don't worry about it.  It may feel impossible now, but it won't be like this forever.  

Just a suggestion:  start doing independent playtime for her now.  So, once she's awake, fed and has a clean diaper, set her up on her playmat or on a blanket with some fun stuff to look at, and then leave her alone.  

Let her look at her toys, coo and smile and what have you.  Be close enough to see her, but don't interact with her.  

Read this: Baby, Interrupted ? 7 Ways To Build Your Child?s Focus And Attention Span | Janet Lansbury

I really agree with the concept.  I left DS1 to play by himself at least once per day.  We started small, 2 or 3 minutes and now, he'll play in his playroom by himself all the time.  I love checking in on him and seeing where his imagination is taking him.   

Cobra11

JaysonandKristin:

For the immediate future, yes, you're a hostage.  Forever?  No way, SISTER!!

She'll come around.  Babies can smell fear, tell your DH to man up!! ;P  just kidding!!

Don't worry about it.  It may feel impossible now, but it won't be like this forever.  

Just a suggestion:  start doing independent playtime for her now.  So, once she's awake, fed and has a clean diaper, set her up on her playmat or on a blanket with some fun stuff to look at, and then leave her alone.  

Let her look at her toys, coo and smile and what have you.  Be close enough to see her, but don't interact with her.  

Read this: Baby, Interrupted ? 7 Ways To Build Your Child?s Focus And Attention Span | Janet Lansbury

I really agree with the concept.  I left DS1 to play by himself at least once per day.  We started small, 2 or 3 minutes and now, he'll play in his playroom by himself all the time.  I love checking in on him and seeing where his imagination is taking him.   

OMG thanks for posting that link. I am also held hostage during the day he just will not let me put him down!!! 

NotSharknado

Thanks! I just read it. I've always felt guilty about leaving her by herself so even if she was quiet I would go to her thinking she needed me. Also I always try to get her to focus on toys such as a rattle and trying musical things. I guess I just need to let her be! Thanks again!

meganjane86

I leave DS with DH on the weekends for a few hours while I go running, and he's usually fine. However, the first time I tried to leave for a night out DS wasn't having it! I guess he's use to me putting him to bed, so me not being there totally threw him off. He wouldn't take his bottle, was screaming, etc. After 2-3 hours of hysterics DH finally fessed up that it wasn't going so well and I came home- within 30 minutes he took his whole bottle and was fast asleep!

The next time I went out, he was a little better- took his bottle from DH and only fussed for a bit before he conked out. I'm hoping next time is even better and he doesn't give DH a hard time at all!

Point is, you just have to keep trying! She's going to have to get use to being alone with your DH at some point- start with quick trips out, even just staying in another part of the house! And don't run home the minute she starts fussing- I'm sure she fusses for you sometimes, too, and you find a way to calm her. Your dh will do the same. 

Plus, you need to be able to have time to yourself for your own sanity! 

Skibunny07

Maybe start off by having your LO and your husband spend sometime together alone while you are still home? Give her to your DH and let him take care of her while you go take a shower, cook dinner, watch TV in another room, etc and see how she does?

JenJune3

Poor baby girl missed her mama!

Just keep trying, start slow. Leave her in the living room under a playgym and go fold some laundry. As far as shopping goes, can you put her in a moby or some kind of carrier and carry her thru the shopping so you don't worry about her at home with your H and she won't be screaming in the carseat?

wintermama11

Skibunny07:

Maybe start off by having your LO and your husband spend sometime together alone while you are still home? Give her to your DH and let him take care of her while you go take a shower, cook dinner, watch TV in another room, etc and see how she does?

That sounds like a good idea to me.  Baby steps (literally!).

NotSharknado

Skibunny07:

Maybe start off by having your LO and your husband spend sometime together alone while you are still home? Give her to your DH and let him take care of her while you go take a shower, cook dinner, watch TV in another room, etc and see how she does?

I talked to DH today and told him this exact idea. So let's hope it works! Thanks!

NotSharknado

Thanks ladies! I feel better.

Gilliebear

JaysonandKristin:

For the immediate future, yes, you're a hostage.  Forever?  No way, SISTER!!

She'll come around.  Babies can smell fear, tell your DH to man up!! ;P  just kidding!!

Don't worry about it.  It may feel impossible now, but it won't be like this forever.  

Just a suggestion:  start doing independent playtime for her now.  So, once she's awake, fed and has a clean diaper, set her up on her playmat or on a blanket with some fun stuff to look at, and then leave her alone.  

Let her look at her toys, coo and smile and what have you.  Be close enough to see her, but don't interact with her.  

Read this: Baby, Interrupted ? 7 Ways To Build Your Child?s Focus And Attention Span | Janet Lansbury

I really agree with the concept.  I left DS1 to play by himself at least once per day.  We started small, 2 or 3 minutes and now, he'll play in his playroom by himself all the time.  I love checking in on him and seeing where his imagination is taking him.   

You sound like such a great mommy JanK!! 

buckyfan30

JaysonandKristin:

For the immediate future, yes, you're a hostage.  Forever?  No way, SISTER!!

She'll come around.  Babies can smell fear, tell your DH to man up!! ;P  just kidding!!

Don't worry about it.  It may feel impossible now, but it won't be like this forever.  

Just a suggestion:  start doing independent playtime for her now.  So, once she's awake, fed and has a clean diaper, set her up on her playmat or on a blanket with some fun stuff to look at, and then leave her alone.  

Let her look at her toys, coo and smile and what have you.  Be close enough to see her, but don't interact with her.  

Read this: Baby, Interrupted ? 7 Ways To Build Your Child?s Focus And Attention Span | Janet Lansbury

I really agree with the concept.  I left DS1 to play by himself at least once per day.  We started small, 2 or 3 minutes and now, he'll play in his playroom by himself all the time.  I love checking in on him and seeing where his imagination is taking him.   

 

 

Thank you for posting this.  It's something I needed to hear, but didn't know it.  I kept getting so stressed out because I never got a break, other than DS sleeping.  I had started to put him down on his play mat or with a toy but felt guilty if I wasn't constantly interacting with him.  Last night and this morning I've put him down to play alone and he's so content..he doesn't need me constantly in his face.  I think this is really going to help both of us.. and help me not to get so stressed/tired when my H has to work late. Thanks again.

kellydw

i am in the exact same boat as you, i feel your pain.