What to do...

gy86

So I have a 3-month old baby with a guy I've been best friends with & dated for most of the past 6 years.  We met when I was 19 and in college; he was 20 -- and back then, we were on the same page (lifestyle-wise.)  Since then, it feels as though I've grown up, progressed, whereas he hasn't.  I graduated, started a career, started investing for the future, and could care less about drinking cheap liquor or playing video games.

We don't live together -- tried that, didn't work -- though he still considers me his girlfriend.  And I guess he's my boyfriend/partner but I'd rather refer to him as the father of my child... I really don't feel like we have a rewarding relationship together, and there's this part of me that knows the longer I stay "with" him, the more I limit my future options.  All likelihood aside, I'd love to someday have a relationship and maybe even a household or family with somebody who is my intellectual equal, who works hard to acheive their ambitions and dreams, who is committed to being healthy, and all these other qualities I wish to embody which I see zero of in my "man."

It's not that he's a bad father.  He's professed on numerous occasions how he wants to be involved in our daughter's life, since he never knew his dad growing up.  We split her diaper & daycare costs 50/50 and he'll help out occasionally with watching her in the evenings/weekends.  I just don't see how it will benefit me, or her, to stay with him if I'm convincing myself I'm content in a relationship that's unfulfilling -- but I'm at a complete loss as to how to communicate this to him... especially this soon after having a child together.

He's given me a great gift -- a beautiful, healthy child who gives me so much joy -- but I don't feel like I should have to remain with him simply because of her.

Ugh, I'm sorry.  I posted a similar vent a while back because I was unable to figure out the proper approach to this situation... and I still haven't been able to figure out what to do.  I appreciate any feedback you ladies can give.

PrettyInPearls23

The first step is to set up a formal visitation schedule and file it with the courts. This will protect both of you in the long run and will keep consistency for your DD's sake. Also, file for formal child support as well.

It sounds like you know what you want -- you just need to take the first steps to get there. I'm sure you're afraid of "rocking the boat" so to speak, but like you said, you're not getting anywhere by not doing anything.

Trust me, the hardest part is taking the first steps towards your new life. You can do it!