Unstable

krysiahamaty

I think it might be because of the holidays but I'm super unstable and my anxiety levels are high. Any little thing sets me off, any thought of Jack gets me choked up, and my chest feels tight. I don't plan on doing anything for Thanksgiving. With how I feel, I'd rather not. I told MH if he wants to go to his parents' (and bring me food back) he can. I can't handle it and I would have to be around our nieces and nephew. Plus I don't want to hear his mother tell me I should be moving on.

Anyway, that was just a vent. Hope everyone is having a good Monday. Hugs to all. 

Jackie2200

Hang in there sweetie.  The holidays bring out so many emotions even without a loss.  I completely understand why you don't want to celebrate.  Can you talk your husband into doing somehting fun for just the two of you? 

 I see you're in Miami...(so jealous!) Can you go to the beach or South Beach for the day and get away from family stuff? 

I definitely understand why you don't want to hang out with neices or nephews too.  I still haven't even met my nephew (born in Apirl) and my niece (born in August).  It's just too hard.  IF + a loss really messes with you. 

Hang in there. 

johnnys june

*huge hugs*  I think you're making a wise decision to not go to Thanksgiving dinner if you already feel anxiety over it.  It's ok.  During moments of anxiety I find that deep breaths or even exercising help.  And don't be afraid to "let it out" whether you need to scream, kick, cry.  I can't tell you how many "tantrums" I through, feeling like a complete fool!  But afterwards, I felt better.

Carolee

The holidays tend to be hard for me also - for me it's thinking about what could have (and should have) been.  It's not fair that we don't have our babies here with us during these times that are supposed to be so happy.  I agree with the suggestion about asking your DH if he'd be willing to do something with just you - I know I didn't want to be around anyone last Thanksgiving.  (((HUGS)))

Shayna0182

I think you should do whatever you need to do in order to make yourself feel better.  If that means skipping Thanksgiving or Christmas because of the sadness and anxiety you're having, then screw everyone who tries to make it about them.  Everyone handles loss differently, and they should respect your wishes.  Last year, we had ds, so we couldn't do that, but the holidays were pretty tough last year, since it was my first one without both of my daughters. 

Hugs to you!

dandywarhol

I agree with the others, you have to do what is best for you.  If that is staying at home, in the dark and under the covers, then do it.  

 

magdalina.h

I so wish I had a magic phrase that would take some of the hurt away. You are making the best decision for you by staying home and I'm PROUD of you for that. If she says that...I'll punch her for you

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weddedwife

I want to skip the holidays too Just fast-forward to January.

krysiahamaty

Thank you, ladies!!! OMG, I am moved by all your posts and support. See? Everybing I just read made me cry! 

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I will talk to DH. I'm sure we will do something little at home just the two of us but if he feels like he should swing by his parents', I told him that's cool by me. And he knows and understands why I don't want to go. As of now, I feel the same way about Xmas but I don't know if both our families will let me avoid that one. Though I might if I feel like this. I just want to avoid kids!

 

butterfly843

((hugs)) I think you are making the right decision to avoid Thanksgiving. After I lost my twins I went to Thanksgiving dinner with my family and it was tough. I got a ton of stupid comments including my aunt who told me that at least I could have fun trying again (just 2 weeks after my loss, and she knows we went through ivf).