Would this upset you?

kls621

Today was supposed to be Thanksgiving with the IL's. My DH has a cough and my 21 month old DS has a cold. So far myself and my 3 week old DD have avoided getting it.

One of my BIL/SIL are paranoid about germs. So, out of courtesy, we called them to tell them of our symptoms and offerred (sp?) to stay home if it bothered them. We also called the other BIL/SIL to tell them since they also have small children.

The second BIL didn't care, which we knew would be the case. In the middle of the conversation it comes out that one of our nephews has croup. My DH asks if the second BIL is going to call the paranoid BIL to let him know about the croup, I hear DH say "well you probably should since you know how they feel about sickness". To me that sounded like they weren't going to and if DH hadn't called to tell them of our sickness they weren't going to tell us either!

Needless to say, we did not attend Thanksgiving and we told MIL that it was because DH and DS were sick, and that we were concerned about the nephew's croup.

I held my tongue with DH, but I was LIVID!! We have a 3 week old and they were just going to expose our little one without telling us. My sister had croup often as a child and even had to be hospitalized twice. I know how serious croup can be and I can't believe that my BIL/SIL would knowingly expose their niece and nephews to this and think they didn't have to tell us. 4 of them are under the age of 5.

I think common courtesy is if your children are sick that you should either stay home or at least inquire of the others with children to see if they mind.

Am I overreacting? I am just waiting for the phone call from my MIL tomorrow. She was very upset that basically everyone dropped out of coming.

BettyBookworm

kls621:

I think common courtesy is if your children are sick that you should either stay home or at least inquire of the others with children to see if they mind.

Am I overreacting? I am just waiting for the phone call from my MIL tomorrow. She was very upset that basically everyone dropped out of coming.

I think it would be nice if this happened. However, like other issues involving courtesy and politesse it is entirely optional for other people to observe them. I think you might be overreacting a little bit. It is certainly cruddy that they didn't inform you because you have a newborn, but honestly they aren't required to do so.

It does stink that everyone dropped out last minute, but its better than getting sick IMHO.

FrauElyse

I think if they were strangers you might be overreacting, but that they didn't call to tell their brothers/sisters about their kid having croup is pretty bad.  I mean, they're not obligated to, but I would think family kindness would dictate them giving you a heads up on that one.

HappyAardvark

That's really irresponsible and frankly, sh!tty of them. A cold/sniffles is one thing but croup is serious. I might be a b!tch but I'd actually call them on the carpet - let them know you found out about the croup and in the future, when family is gathering, to please let you know about any illnesses in any of the kids, and you will do the same.

sytom

Oh boy would I be upset!!!  You definitely did the right thing!  I'm from Canada so holiday season has not begun yet, but I am dreading it so much!  I know I might sound like a b!tch, but there is no way in hell I am letting family members hold my daughter without washing their hands first...  That is if I let them at all.  The bad thing is that I really don't care about sounding like a b!tch.  Flame away if you want. : )

Runnergirl2242

It would honestly upset me. I already told my husband to check with his family to make sure that no one is sick before we go bc I know that people will not pay attention. People really are inconsiderate of newborns and think that I am paraniod. It bothers me but I really do not want a sick newborn. Not such a big deal when they are older but now its really hard to have a sick little one.

mattandbekah

I would be upset that they didnt tell you their LO was sick.  I always try to give our family members a heads up when one of us has a cold...it is common courtesy.  Dealing with a sick child is hard, so I dont want to put anyone else through that! (Both of my guys have colds right now...so sad),

kls621

Thanks ladies. Under other circumstances I would agree, a little cold/sniffles doesn't bother me. I figure colds here and there are, in the long run, good for a kid. It helps them build immunities. I am not a germaphobe, per se, but for certain things I do believe you should limit your child's interaction with others.

The part that really bothers me is that my SIL has a nursing degree, so she is well aware that if my DD were to get sick with something at 3 weeks old and run a fever she would be put in the hospital.

This is the second time they have brought sick kids to a family function and not told the rest of us. The first time all the other nephews were sick within the week after (I know it could have been from other sources, but it kind of makes you wonder).

Right now I am leaving it up to my DH to handle his family with this issue. The other BIL is very upset about this as well, so we will see how it all plays out. Just be assured DH will be calling all ILs before Christmas to make sure all are healthy before we show up.