I have a hard time on the c/s board

RayRay007

I had planned for a med/intervention free birth with a midwife. I ended up with an emergency c/s due to fetal bradycardia (sp?). It was very emergent and I had no option and I handled it very well (physically as well as emotionally). Anyway. I frequented this board when I was pg and when DD was born to tell my story, and I frequent the c/s board now to help where I can. But sometimes, I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut. I feel like a lot of women there are misinformed. Eg/ "fetal/maternal death rates have declined w/ medical interventions". Actually, the US has some of the worst rates out of developed countries. Also, when people say "Me and my baby would've died" I want to ask "says who?". I'm not trying to judge, I just want people to be educated and make informed decisions. But I do keep my mouth shut. People are entitled to their own opinions and choices. I guess there isn't much of a point to this post, just a bit of a rant.

Kristine Schilling

you could always randomly pop out % facts and site the place you go the info from. no storys or anything.

tokenhoser

People are entitled to their own opinions, but some things are just outright lies (generally because the poster doesn't know better). It is frustrating.

nosoup4u

Yep. I had to just not post on that post, heh.

I made another poster angry on there bc I called out her comment of how she didn't have any "hang ups" as to how her babies were born (it was a post about VBAC vs RCS). She might not have meant to sound judgy, but it really rubbed me the wrong way.

angelina477

Its really sad how uneducated some women are about birth. They don't take the class or read one book about it. They are totally controlled by their doctors and the hospital system due to their lack of knowledge. I'd let it go and be happy you did your home work!

pepomntpat

I am glad I popped over here, because I was gritting my teeth and sitting on my hands about that post...especially the woman who said to step back and be grateful. 

I am grateful, but it still sucked. And yes, the information is often downright wrong. 

iris427

What post are you guys talking about??  I'm obviously missing something here!

Regina+Philangey

I can't see a problem with women for whom a c/s was a medical necessity being grateful. What an odd view point to take - that a woman who has a c/s shouldn't be grateful.

Regina+Philangey

angelina477:

Its really sad how uneducated some women are about birth. They don't take the class or read one book about it. They are totally controlled by their doctors and the hospital system due to their lack of knowledge. I'd let it go and be happy you did your home work!

I don't think the women on the c/s board are sad, or uneducated, and to assume they didn't take a class or read a book is incredibly judgemental.

nosoup4u

@iris, it's the "grateful for my c-section" post.

Kristine Schilling

nosoup4u:

@iris, it's the "grateful for my c-section" post.

 

I went and read that thread too. While it bothers me that so many women have un-nessissary CS, perhaps those few who needed it for medical reasons have a point there. I do not know the stories behind the ladies who say "they and the child would have died." Perhaps so, perhaps not. the Cs rate in the U.S. may be high, but a few of those really might have ended in death without intervention.

My DD ended up being an emergency CS. I was incredibly uneducated and the Doctor had total control. I had been on bed rest for most of it, and the extent of my "education" had been those shows on cable about birth stories.

I was induced, I ended up with an Epi only a couple hours in and then needed a CS because her heart rate kept falling below 70bpm. Would i have needed a CS if I let nature take its course? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe she would have unwrapped herself if we had waited a few more days before giving birth. But she would have died if they had not gotten me into the OR. The cord was wrapped around her neck 3 times.

 

I want VBAC this time. I want no interventions this time. Will I get it? i hope so, my Dr is on board and I have done my homework (mostly) this time.

nosoup4u

Regina+Philangey:

angelina477:

Its really sad how uneducated some women are about birth. They don't take the class or read one book about it. They are totally controlled by their doctors and the hospital system due to their lack of knowledge. I'd let it go and be happy you did your home work!

I don't think the women on the c/s board are sad, or uneducated, and to assume they didn't take a class or read a book is incredibly judgemental.

Yeah, I agree with you, Regina. 

That post makes me uncomfortable because one's feelings about having a c-section isn't this cut-and-dry thing. Of course it's awesome they are available when medically necessary (and I'm not the one to decide for someone else whether it was truly necessary!), but starting a thread about being grateful for a c-section leaves the women who aren't 100% happy they had one out in the cold.

It definitely comes too close to the "the only thing that matters is that you have a healthy baby!!!11!!" meme for me.

pepomntpat

nosoup4u:

Regina+Philangey:

angelina477:

Its really sad how uneducated some women are about birth. They don't take the class or read one book about it. They are totally controlled by their doctors and the hospital system due to their lack of knowledge. I'd let it go and be happy you did your home work!

I don't think the women on the c/s board are sad, or uneducated, and to assume they didn't take a class or read a book is incredibly judgemental.

Yeah, I agree with you, Regina. 

That post makes me uncomfortable because one's feelings about having a c-section isn't this cut-and-dry thing. Of course it's awesome they are available when medically necessary (and I'm not the one to decide for someone else whether it was truly necessary!), but starting a thread about being grateful for a c-section leaves the women who aren't 100% happy they had one out in the cold.

It definitely comes too close to the "the only thing that matters is that you have a healthy baby!!!11!!" meme for me.

This is the problem I had with it. I believe my c/s was necessary. I am grateful it is an option and that DD and I are both safe and healthy. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt to not have the birth I wanted-especially the way things went after the birth. And I really have a problem being told to be grateful because my daughter is healthy. I am, but I am still super sad that I had a bad experience. Does this help, Regina?

Kitttkattt

Our perinatal rates are about in the middle of other developed countries. That's the one that counts, birth to seven days. That's what the quality peer reviewed. research says.

Sharon21

Regina+Philangey:

angelina477:

Its really sad how uneducated some women are about birth. They don't take the class or read one book about it. They are totally controlled by their doctors and the hospital system due to their lack of knowledge. I'd let it go and be happy you did your home work!

I don't think the women on the c/s board are sad, or uneducated, and to assume they didn't take a class or read a book is incredibly judgemental.

Regina - Angelina never said that the women on the c/s bored are sad or uneducated. She made a general statement about "some women" NOT "some women on the c/s bored". Don't be so defensive. 

OP- I can relate to where you are coming from. I was born via c-section and if my LO had been in distress I wouldn't have hesitated to have one. I know that many c-sections are needed but I find it interesting that it seems like EVERY person HAD to have a c/s or they WOULD HAVE DIED! I just don't understand with the c-section rate as high as it is if every women that has one would have died without it then how did the human race survive until c-sections were available? I am sure that each women that says that believes it to be true in their case so I would never call someone out because they may be the person that really would have died. But yeah I have a hard time believing that every women that says they would have died really would have.   

backinpgh

I totally understand how you feel, but at the same time, it's too late anyways. If thinking that the C/S saved her and her baby's life makes her feel better about her experience, then it might be better to just leave it at that.

SeptemberBride'08

On my BMB there was a post about how many women where not taking a class or reading up about labor and just trusting their doctor. Which I think having trust is a great thing to have, however the doctor is not there often and it's the nurses who take care of you with the doctors approval of what to offer. Not being educated on the procedures and just going in "trusting" that they will always do what is right by you is not a great plan in my opinion. I have no idea why people do this when you can be somewhat prepared with knowledge about a major life event and medical decision that women and men aren't. It seems at times that people go into job interviews more prepared than a major life event, labor, that they've had 9 months to get somewhat educated and knowledgeable about.

RayRay007

backinpgh:

I totally understand how you feel, but at the same time, it's too late anyways. If thinking that the C/S saved her and her baby's life makes her feel better about her experience, then it might be better to just leave it at that.

This is why I would never actually question it.

ABeautifulMind

backinpgh:

I totally understand how you feel, but at the same time, it's too late anyways. If thinking that the C/S saved her and her baby's life makes her feel better about her experience, then it might be better to just leave it at that.

 

This.  And, backinpgh, your daughter is so stinkin' adorable!!!!!

StacyADampf

I have to put my two cents in here.  I had originally intended to have a med free birth and up until my c-section, I for the most part did.  At 40w6d I was induced because my OB did not like going past that time and I was fine with that.  I was started on cervadil which kicked me into natural labor.  My contractions started at midnight, my water broke at 1am and the cervadil fell out at 1:30.  I started pushing at 9:30am.  At 3pm, the tried to vacuum my daughter 4 times unsuccessfully which led to the c-section.  Once they had me in the OR, the found that my daughter was turned sideways (transverse breech) and had failed to descend so I could not get her out.  I pushed for 6 hours without pain meds until they gave me the spinal for the c-section.  I took a labor prep class and did my research and I was more scared of the induction rather than the c-section.  I am sorry if this sounds harsh but you do not know each individual reason for a c-section so you shouldn't pass judgement.

redheadinlove

I feel this way constantly. Sigh. Through my best friends pregnancy we had conversations all the time about the pros and cons of medicalized and natural birth.

She was never on my side. Then she went through a pretty crappy experience and now, ttc again, she's all up my butt for information and my opinions =]  

pepomntpat

StacyADampf:

I have to put my two cents in here.  I had originally intended to have a med free birth and up until my c-section, I for the most part did.  At 40w6d I was induced because my OB did not like going past that time and I was fine with that.  I was started on cervadil which kicked me into natural labor.  My contractions started at midnight, my water broke at 1am and the cervadil fell out at 1:30.  I started pushing at 9:30am.  At 3pm, the tried to vacuum my daughter 4 times unsuccessfully which led to the c-section.  Once they had me in the OR, the found that my daughter was turned sideways (transverse breech) and had failed to descend so I could not get her out.  I pushed for 6 hours without pain meds until they gave me the spinal for the c-section.  I took a labor prep class and did my research and I was more scared of the induction rather than the c-section.  I am sorry if this sounds harsh but you do not know each individual reason for a c-section so you shouldn't pass judgement.

Just an FYI, the OP had a c/s. If you read the post over there you may understand better. I also have to side eye an OB who can't tell a baby is completely transverse before you get to the pushing phase. That's awful! 

Sharon21

pepomntpat:

StacyADampf:

I have to put my two cents in here.  I had originally intended to have a med free birth and up until my c-section, I for the most part did.  At 40w6d I was induced because my OB did not like going past that time and I was fine with that.  I was started on cervadil which kicked me into natural labor.  My contractions started at midnight, my water broke at 1am and the cervadil fell out at 1:30.  I started pushing at 9:30am.  At 3pm, the tried to vacuum my daughter 4 times unsuccessfully which led to the c-section.  Once they had me in the OR, the found that my daughter was turned sideways (transverse breech) and had failed to descend so I could not get her out.  I pushed for 6 hours without pain meds until they gave me the spinal for the c-section.  I took a labor prep class and did my research and I was more scared of the induction rather than the c-section.  I am sorry if this sounds harsh but you do not know each individual reason for a c-section so you shouldn't pass judgement.

Just an FYI, the OP had a c/s. If you read the post over there you may understand better. I also have to side eye an OB who can't tell a baby is completely transverse before you get to the pushing phase. That's awful! 

That is exactly what I was thinking! And seriously, pushing for 6 hours before they realize the baby isn't descending AT ALL?! That's crazy! 

RayRay007

Sharon21:

pepomntpat:

StacyADampf:

I have to put my two cents in here.  I had originally intended to have a med free birth and up until my c-section, I for the most part did.  At 40w6d I was induced because my OB did not like going past that time and I was fine with that.  I was started on cervadil which kicked me into natural labor.  My contractions started at midnight, my water broke at 1am and the cervadil fell out at 1:30.  I started pushing at 9:30am.  At 3pm, the tried to vacuum my daughter 4 times unsuccessfully which led to the c-section.  Once they had me in the OR, the found that my daughter was turned sideways (transverse breech) and had failed to descend so I could not get her out.  I pushed for 6 hours without pain meds until they gave me the spinal for the c-section.  I took a labor prep class and did my research and I was more scared of the induction rather than the c-section.  I am sorry if this sounds harsh but you do not know each individual reason for a c-section so you shouldn't pass judgement.

Just an FYI, the OP had a c/s. If you read the post over there you may understand better. I also have to side eye an OB who can't tell a baby is completely transverse before you get to the pushing phase. That's awful! 

That is exactly what I was thinking! And seriously, pushing for 6 hours before they realize the baby isn't descending AT ALL?! That's crazy! 

Ya, and I wasn't judging. There are absolutely c/s that are medically necessary and some are life or death situations. A transverse breech definitely necessitates a c/s. (and I agree that it's shocking that you went that long without them figuring out it was breech). But that post was full of misinformation and a lot of women that believe their c/s was medically necessary, but I want to discuss with them whether it truly was medically necessary or whether their OB scared them into it or what have you. The rising c/s rate has not improved outcomes for mothers or babies. But as I said before, I would never actually ask. That is why I have a hard time over there. I want to share what I know and believe and discuss, but I won't.  

pepomntpat

RayRay007:

Sharon21:

pepomntpat:

StacyADampf:

I have to put my two cents in here.  I had originally intended to have a med free birth and up until my c-section, I for the most part did.  At 40w6d I was induced because my OB did not like going past that time and I was fine with that.  I was started on cervadil which kicked me into natural labor.  My contractions started at midnight, my water broke at 1am and the cervadil fell out at 1:30.  I started pushing at 9:30am.  At 3pm, the tried to vacuum my daughter 4 times unsuccessfully which led to the c-section.  Once they had me in the OR, the found that my daughter was turned sideways (transverse breech) and had failed to descend so I could not get her out.  I pushed for 6 hours without pain meds until they gave me the spinal for the c-section.  I took a labor prep class and did my research and I was more scared of the induction rather than the c-section.  I am sorry if this sounds harsh but you do not know each individual reason for a c-section so you shouldn't pass judgement.

Just an FYI, the OP had a c/s. If you read the post over there you may understand better. I also have to side eye an OB who can't tell a baby is completely transverse before you get to the pushing phase. That's awful! 

That is exactly what I was thinking! And seriously, pushing for 6 hours before they realize the baby isn't descending AT ALL?! That's crazy! 

Ya, and I wasn't judging. There are absolutely c/s that are medically necessary and some are life or death situations. A transverse breech definitely necessitates a c/s. (and I agree that it's shocking that you went that long without them figuring out it was breech). But that post was full of misinformation and a lot of women that believe their c/s was medically necessary, but I want to discuss with them whether it truly was medically necessary or whether their OB scared them into it or what have you. The rising c/s rate has not improved outcomes for mothers or babies. But as I said before, I would never actually ask. That is why I have a hard time over there. I want to share what I know and believe and discuss, but I won't.  

It is really hard when you get flamed for sharing information. You can only have opinions, not facts.