I broke down and am letting her CIO. Nap times have been a disaster...well pretty much always. I don't get anything done with her napping in my arms and laying down with her doesn't work anymore.
Sooo, with pediatrician's blessing I am letting her CIO, comforting her every five minutes or so (gradually longer each time). It has never taken more than 20 min so far.
Since naps have been all over the map, its hard to gauge how sleep is "normal" for her. She consistently sleeps 11-12 hours a night. She slept 30 min nap this am. And an hour just now but woke up crabby and throwing a progressively louder fit (I waited about ten minutes before going in the room). I changed her and put her back down....she's still crying...not fussing, CRYING. She's still tired, right? That may seem like a duh. But reassure me.