37 wks with no care provider...

Germanwife2b

Ok, I will try to make this long story as brief as possible.

I have been planning homebirth #2 this whole pregnancy.  I have had some complications throughout the pregnancy this time though (PTL at 24 wks, pneumonia and three episodes of unexplained bleeding).  First bleed I went to L&D and they found no cause and discharged me.  After the 3rd bleed, my MWs suggested an u/s again to see if they could find the cause.  That u/s (read by a radiologist) showed some sort of fibrous tissue between the baby's head and the cervical os and they suggested a hospital birth in their report.  After talking to the MW, I agreed to transfer my care to the hospital based mostly on the fact that after every complication I had, I would tell my husband, "If one more thing happens, I am having a hospital birth."  I was given the choice by my MW to get more testing done or transfer care and I figured, if there is something there, better to transfer care.  I have been crying ever since I made this decision to be discharged from my MWs (I have been their patient for 12 yrs)

So, I met with a practice of MW's who have hospital privileges at my hospital (I am an OB nurse in a hospital).  I did not get good vibes AT ALL in talking with the one MW at my appointment.  They agreed to take over my care as long as I was cleared by a Maternal Fetal Medicine doc (MFM).  I went yesterday to meet with the MFM doc and have yet another u/s.  She found NOTHING in that u/s.  She could not find a thing between the baby's head and the cervical os like the other people found.  But of course she is still advising against homebirth due to the previous unexplained bleeding.  The thing is....I was not risked out of the homebirth before based on the bleeding alone.  It was based on findings in the first ultrasound that we made the decision to transfer care.  So now, I have an ultrasound done by a VERY skilled MFM doc who sees nothing but now on many pieces of paper, it is highly recommended that I have a hospital birth.  So, although it is NOT what I want, I feel like if something were to happen, I had a ton of warning signs telling me to move to the hospital.

In the meantime, I casually met with another MW at work the other day who is staff at my hospital, but she and her small practice just started taking private patiens to deliver at my hospital.  I got much better vibes from her...  So, i would choose her practice to deliver with...BUT I DON"T WANT TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL :-(

I am 37 weeks, have no care provider, have no appoontments on my calendar and am so confused as what to do.  I am not even sure if I went against all of this advice to hospital birth, if my old MWs would take me back (they have a long waiting list and if someone transfers out, someone else gets that spot).  I am so sad and have done my fair share of crying these past few days.

Do you think I could just stay pregnant forever??? 

I know I have to make this decision, but if you made it this far, what would you do?

Mamasaurus

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this!

Mu understanding is that ultrasound is not as exact as people think. You may still have the fibrous tissue, but on this one ultrasound, something was in the way, this machine's contrast levels meant it was hard to pick up, or something else. I know somebody who had been told "it's a girl!" at the 20 week a/s, then "no, it's a boy," at a later u/s, and then gave birth to...a girl.

If you think there is a chance that this...whatever it is might still be there and harm the health of you or your child, I'd see about getting in with this other MW you like better. You will probably be more relaxed, less stressed, and have a happier labor if you don't have somebody you don't feel good around with you during the birth. It isn't the homebirth you want, but it still seems like an improvement.

Whatever you choose, good luck! I hope that in a couple weeks, you and your baby are happy, healthy, and enjoying life together.

nosoup4u

I would do hospital, for the reasons you listed. If you like the second MW, go w her. It'll probably not be too bad, as you've had a previous vaginal birth, so hopefully they'll be fairly hands-off, and labor will go fast. Hope it all works out!

SeaSoul

Oh, M...it was almost easier when there was a definite thing on the u/s because then you didn't feel you had a choice, huh?  Well, I do agree with the others...you can't know anything for sure and it would probably be wise to err on the side of caution and plan a hospital birth with your MW friend.  I wish you all the best!

julyjennifer

Well, I guess if it were me I would first call the homebirth MW practice just to see if it would be an option for you to return to them.  If that's not an option any longer, at least you know it, and maybe you can make peace with not having the homebirth you hoped for by telling yourself that everything happens for a reason, and maybe the hospital is where you need to be for some reason.

Then I would go with that new nice Midwife.

It's ok to be sad about not being able to birth at home, if that's what happens.

If, though, the homebirth midwife practice would be able to take you back on, then I guess I would listen hard to your gut, make a choice based on what you hear, and go forward with confidence that you made the best choice you could based on the info at hand.  

You could ask the HB midwives about what would happen if there WAS in fact a fibrous thing over the cervix during a homebirth.  is it something that would become clear during the labor, and then you'd simply transfer to the hospital without it being a huge time-sensitive emergency?  Or is it something that could make it super immediately life threatening where you would have wanted to be in the hospital already?  

 

Tigerlilym15

I'm sorry you have had such a trying experience. I agree with the others though that you should choose the midwife you like at the hospital. You have had so many complications/unexplained things happen, maybe it is a sign that you need to be in a hospital. You may still have a completely normal and uncomplicated birth but there is no way to know that right now and I don't think it is worth the risk.

I know its not the same but remember that there are many things you can do to make the hospital more  homey. The most important thing is that your baby arrives healthy!

LaurelBee

It actually kind of sounds like you know what you should do, but you're still fighting for what you want to do.  I'm sorry mama, but I think you need to transfer to the hospital too.  Or is there a birthing center near you that is attached to a hospital?  That might be a good choice for you, so you don't feel like you're giving up your birth plan altogether...

I think once you get in the right place mentally, you'll find that you can still have an amazing birth experience.  Hospitals aren't all that bad, as long as you have a strong supporter. GL!

Kristine Schilling

nosoup4u:

I would do hospital, for the reasons you listed. If you like the second MW, go w her. It'll probably not be too bad, as you've had a previous vaginal birth, so hopefully they'll be fairly hands-off, and labor will go fast. Hope it all works out!

 

This.. also, better to be at the hospital for the birth at this point simpley because you have had so many concerns during this PG. You can still have a natural birth, with the MW you want, at the hospital. Whatever OB is on staff at the time of your labor will take care of you in the event of a massive emergency. (We will all pray that it does not happen.)

CurbsideProphet

I would go with the hospital birth with the second MW. I would sooner be safe than sorry.

LindseyJW

sending you more hugs than my internet connection will allow!

keep in mind that most docs will be happy to suggest hospital birth, even if you had exactly zero risk factors.

i will call you today.  

flyer23

I'd go with the second MW at the hospital. But as much as I love homebirth, I don't think hospitals are all that bad either. And I'd rather be at the hospital when I should have been at home vs. at home when I should have been at the hospital.