"Why do you want to adopt a baby?"

Magoy

We have recently started telling close family of our intentions to adopt.  I've been thrown a few times by what people ask me.  Most want to know if we'll get a boy or girl (to which I say, I have no idea.)   

But, my dad takes the cake.  "Why do you want to adopt a baby?"  

It was the strangest conversation.  He knows I have no uterus and can't have anymore. We even have talked previously about adoption.  So, I just kind of looked at him and said, "Uh, well, because we want another baby?"

So, what is the strangest thing that's been said to you regarding adoption?

Dr.Loretta

It may be his weird way of working through his emotions about it. Or he talked to someone about something and it stuck in his head.

The strangest thing was I went to our local health food store when DD was a few months old, looking for multivatimins for me. The lady told me I should get a certain kind "especially because you're postpartum." I told her no, we adopted DD, so I didn't really need that. She said, "Oh, that's great. How old was she when you adopted her?" I said she was 2 days old when she came home with us, and she said, "Oh, so it's like she's almost yours."

silliestbunny

My most aggrevating comment came from my SIL and BIL.

SIL said-  well, you know "they" are all drug addict and all of them will suffer from alcoholism when they get older. 
(Mind you, she's a well educated lawyer that works in social services... yikes!)

BIL said-  just make sure to tell them you only want smart kids.  None of those dumb ones, okay? 

Argh!

Hope2Have

For me, we told very few people before we adopted Hadley (since we weren't looking into adoption at the time and had limited contact with the bmom via text, I was so unsure it would actually happen) so I didn't have to deal with any of that.

After she was born though, people are nuts! We live in a small town and everyone seems to know everyone. People that I didn't even know, one guy that swore he knew me b/c he sees me eating breakfast at McDonalds so much asked when I had a baby, and I would say "Oh she's ________ weeks/months old" and then they'd argue with me proclaiming "You weren't pregnant, whose is it.... really?" When I convinced them after explaining the gift of adoption, then it turned to "who could do that, who could give that precious baby away?" I try to use it as a chance to educate on how it's actually a beautiful thing, but it did get frustrating at times.

One lady just the other day (at a gas station I sometimes go into) said "jew adopt a kid?" BTW, jew in our town means "did you"... )  I just smiled and said "yes, she is almost 4 months old!"

so1966

i had a cafe employee tell me that someone she worked with had an adopted baby and then a baby of her own (showing me with her hands that she got PG after the adopted baby).  i was ready to tell her that my LO is my own, but i just nodded...

 

militarywife2b

What will it be? as if we are trying to adopt an animal of some sort.

Art Teacher

We were told we were crazy to consider international adoption  (through China) because the baby wouldn't look like us.

I was told it would be great if we adopted from China because the baby would be so smart.

I was told a really sad story by one of my coworkers - they had brought a little baby boy home but then his birthparents decided to parent.  It was a true story, but not necessarily what I needed in terms of support at that moment.

When dd was only about 2 1/2 months old, someone told me "Don't worry, it will be just like she's your own."

Oh, and not adoption-related but infertility-related...I was talking about our upcoming IVF with a couple of coworkers who were normally supportive/helpful and the one said something about how he never had problems with infertility because of his 'super sperm.'  Nice thing to say to an infertile woman, huh??

 

 

jillianmb

We have mostly had all supportive comments so far, but I did get one strange one yesterday at church.  A 2 year old boy, recently adopted, was throwing a temper tantrum and an older man standing next to me said, "This is what you're getting yourself into!"

Um, yep.  I am a daycare provider, I realize kids throw tantrums.  

jacksjerseygirl

Well the question from your father will be asked by your agency most likely and maybe even by biological expecting parents as well. 

Oddest that was asked: DS was a few weeks old, we were at whole foods, and a couple of older black women (grandmas) came over to goo goo over DS ... "oh you and his daddy have fine coloring combination" ... "you better be breast feeding this baby - he needs to grow big and strong - you nursing right child? 

LOL on so many levels.