I know this life can be better..

mamastich

Hey ladies, Ive been creeping over here the last week or so.. let me give you a little background. I grew up with a single mom and 2 sisters and life could not of been better, my drunk of a dad left when i was probably 2 or 3 and i never wished for a second he had stayed.

So fast foward to my life.. LO is 7 weeks old and almost 2 weeks ago DH told me he had cheated and wanted a divorce. I was beside myself at first and went and saw a therapist and decided not to be angry with him. We had seen each other a couple times after and got along better, and even started talking about working things out. On Monday he went with me to the therapist and we talked some things out and pretty much agreed to 'date' and do stuff we used to and see if we still had/have anything between us. We went to lunch after and talked alot and things seemed better. Tuesday he was supposed to come by the house to see DD and i text him at 7pm and say let me know about tomorrow... he still wanted to come but we had dinner plans and he didnt make an effort in my opinion. We were supposed to go out tonight and Ive havent heard from him...

Heres where my head is: Id rather do this alone. I know how good it can be and he obviously doesnt want to do the work. Hes been around maybe a total of 2 weeks and Im for sure leaving for CA in a month (were in VA) I know once I get there I wont miss him. So rambling aside I guess I just hate how I think I need him when in reality Ive been doing it all alone for a long time. So in a way im happy to be here just the thought of packing up what I can and moving back to my moms is terrifing. Love the support and Im proud of all you mamas and I hope to get my head together enough to leave him.

achase123

Sounds like you already know what you have to do.  Good luck!

Expecting0207

Decide what you want.  Envision the life you want.  And then make a plan and execute it.  You CAN do this.  Your life CAN be better.  You deserve to be loved and not cheated on (speaking from first hand experience here).

mamastich

I know the answer to this. Me and DH went out tonight, we pretty much agreed we are better friends... I told him he needs to be an amazing dad and he needs to support me in anyway he can and he seems to genuenly (sp?) agree. I want to be a single mom and i know i can do it alone, and i want me and DH to stay friends. I dont think we will actually file for divorce anytime soon but Im sure we arent meant to be together.

PrettyInPearls23

tifanico:

If you dont file for divorce then you need to agree on a CS support amount and a visitation plan. Its great that things are amicable between the two of you but you do need to protect yourself and your child.  

This, especially since you're moving across the country with your child. I'm assuming your H is aware of your plans ...does he have anything to say re: visitation of his LO?

mamastich

I wrote up an agreement which he has agreed to (which well both sign and have copies of) it says that i am taking the baby and when hes in town he can see her as much as he wants which the exception of overnights. and he will pay child support. His attitude is pretty much take everything.. which i am. Ill be across the country so I figure he will only see LO when hes in town which may a long time.

expectingnothing

You should have it signed before a notary to make it official.

 Also, my lawyer drafted something stating that STBXH knew and was in agreement that I was moving back to my home state so he couldn't change his mind and come after me.  Make sure whatever you sign is done properly (with a notary!).

mamastich

I will definatly go see a notary about the agreement

As far as child support hes in the military so they give a suggestion as far as child support (1/6 of his take him pay) and we agreed on a little more than that. which is also why were not filing right away, i want to keep my health insurance until i can get it through my job which wont be until next september.

I was planning on going to set up CS officially because he may be getting out of the military next spring and Im nervous he wont be able to find a job/be too lazy to find one.