Do you pack a bag for when LO is w/ EX?

PrincessFiona9

The CO says he had to provide her carseat and I pretty much just told him he needed to buy diapers, but I haven't been sending DD with a bag of clothes or toys.

Right now the visits are only 4 hours once a week, but after this weekend it will be 8 hours and then after a month of that overnights will start. I don't want to start a habit of providing everything for her when it's his parenting time. Especially when he hasn't started paying CS yet. WDYT?

PrettyInPearls23

Absolutely not. He's just as much of a parent as you are (even though I know it doesn't seem like it), and he can be responsible for providing DD with what she needs.

When XH and I first separated, DS was only 8 months old. XH had never really taken DS on his own, and the handful of time that he did, I had packed the diaper bag for him. So, I bought XH his own diaper bag and stocked it full of anything he might need to take care of DS. This was more of my way of letting him know the things he would need to provide for DS in the future, but it also gave me peace of mind in the beginning that DS would have what he needed.

Now, DS is almost 2 years old. XH picks him up from daycare on his weekend of visitation, and he'll take DS's daycare bag with him. Most of the time the bag remains untouched until he brings it home with DS on that Sunday, and that's the way I like it. The only thing that I send with DS that he needs over the weekend is his 'lovey' (a small blanket w/ the "taggies" around it). Other then that, it's completely up to XH to provide DS with what he needs during his parenting time.

turtle1120

Nope.  I don't send anything other than DD, her lovey and a paci.  My DD has the same visitation as your DD - 4 hours once a week.  Our court order specifically says that he needs to provide everything needed for her during his visits.

PrincessFiona9

Okay good! I was afraid I was being b!tchy lol

I know that if she needs anything his parents or grandparents will buy it, and she doesn't have her paci or a particular lovey anymore.

DarthNBJenni

I do, but only because I want my children to have their own things. It doesn't much matter, since he has them sleep in their clothes and they come home stinking to high heaven (they only stay maybe one night a month). 

LadyLissame

No I do not. If I send something with DS, it is usually me returning the clothes that he came home in that are not from my house. STBX is expected to supply clothes, diapers, formula, etc. We shared a diaper bag at first but i got so tired of getting it back half empty and having to be the one to restock it that I got my own. Now we just pass the car seat back and forth, but we have our own bases for it.

lovetohike

I do.. but I am way too nice. I truly should not seeing that he isn't consistant on CS. He doesn't have a job so mo $ to buy DS clothes. I have more than enough at my house so I send him with some. I just kissed my little guy goodbye for a week this afternoon. I packed a bag for a week of freezing cold weather. I don't know why I am so nice. I don't think his dad knows how good he has it!

Oh yeah about starting overnights.. it is rough. DS started at age 3 and I bawled my eyes out. GL to you!

MiniBabe84

My BD, affectionately known as Spermy McD, is unemployed and has been for over a year.  I sent his PNP and extra car seat that both stay at Spermys, and I send a bag with clothes, sippys, and misc stuff like toothbrush/toothpaste, tylenol etc...  Spermy buys his diapers, wipes, food, baby wash, and other incidentals.

 I do it because I'd rather know my son has what he needs than wonder and worry that he doesn't.