update -- 2nd opinion

farmerlynda

So we met with the 2nd RE, and loved her.  The difference was unbelievable -- she was kind, professional, and actually wanted to hear what we wanted to do, rather than just forcing her own paradigm on us.  She actually was interested to hear what we do for a living (wow! a friendly doctor!), and was very gentle and professional with all the procedures.  (Unlike the last RE, she went through what she was doing and what I'd feel as she was doing it... ok, putting my fingers in, ok, now the speculum...  which is a small thing, but makes a difference.)

Based on her professional opinion, we will be moving forward with IVF/ICSI after all.  We actually did the mock transfer right then and there to get it out of the way -- it went off without a hitch, just a little pinch when the catheter hit the back of my ute.  The decision was actually pretty easy: she gave us a 10% chance of IUI working, and noted that we might have to use most of one of the frozen samples to get to that 10% -- whereas with IVF she gave us about a 50% chance of success. (She also noted that the 10% chance assumed MH's sperm are highly motile, and since even the frozen sperm had a low count, there might be quality issues for all of them too.)

She's recommending an antagonist protocol, and said there's no reason to put me on BCPs unless I need to precisely time the ER week.  So I'm skipping them, because I hate them!  They also automatically do a natural cycle FET if IVF fails, which is nice because with the other RE, it was automatically medicated.

The only downside is that they have a strong SET policy.  As in, they want to see three tries with SET fail before putting back 2 embies.  That's kind of a bummer but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.  I understand an initial SET policy... but three cycles before putting back 2?!  Well, like I said, I guess we'll figure that out later. This is more in line with MH's viewpoint anyway, so he kind of liked the policy.

I'm guessing that we will be a January cycle because we get back from vacation December 9 and I'm expecting my period right around then.  There's a class I have to take before that happens and I don't think we'll be able to fit it in beforehand, so we'll probably have to wait out another cycle.

It feels so good to have a plan, and thanks for all the support and suggestions you've given me so far! 

pinkmickey24

First off I would like to say good luck with your IVF cycle. Secondly, I am happy to hear that you have found a RE that has a better bedside manner and is willing to listen to what their patients want. It is nice that you were able to get some of the procedures done today. Once again good luck and I hope you and your DH have a safe trip!

tst1998

It sounds like the 2nd opinion was a good idea. It's funny how even with the same plan, you can have a completely different attitude going forward feeling like the doctor is working with you. Best of luck!!

dragontears507

So glad you had a nice visit with a new RE. It can make all the difference to have a doc who lets you know what's happening while it's happening. Last week, the weekend RE didn't even bother to introduce himself to me before coming at me full force with the dildo cam. Yikes! It certainly makes you appreciate those with a decent bedside manner that much more.

Best of luck on your upcoming IVF!

tgreenf

I am so so happy that you felt much more comfortable with this  RE.  I am sure that is somewhat of a relief!  I am also happy that you have a plan in place!!! I hope you can have a wonderful vacation and come back ready to kick IF's butt!!! 

Tracyc617

Good luck with everything!  It is really nice to have a plan that you are comfortable with.  It sounds like your new RE is great. Enjoy your vacation!

TJ1979

That is so great to hear.  I'm so glad the new RE made such a difference.  Also, just FYI, I'm interested in what you do too.  Maybe I'm a nerd, but I find farming fascinating, especially the animals - your goat pic is precious!  GL on your IVF cycle!

mdiblasi10

Yay for finding a wonderful RE and good luck with your IVF cycle!

softbalangel

I'm so glad you got a second opinion! The new RE sounds like a much better fit for you and your H!

limpetfan

I know this might sound weird, but I'm really glad you guys are going to do IVF/ICSI.  You'll have such a good shot at it actually working.  I'm also so happy for you that this doctor was everything you've been looking for! What a relief, right?!

We might wind up cycling around the same time - I'm hoping for a January cycle, too, it just depends on how my cycles line up with that timing. 

Gregermis

does the SET policy include FET?  My RE gave me an article to read containing the guidelines they tend to follow, and while I wouldn't only be allowed a SET for a fresh embryo cycle.. I could have two put back if the first failed and we went to a FET.  If does include FET... maybe you don't have to suffer through 3 fresh cycles before they decide to put back 2.  Although... hopefully you get KTFU the first time around an all this worrying is just not worth it!   Good luck!!!!!

misstrish521

I'm so glad that you found a RE you like! GL with your upcoming cycle!

genmalone

Glad you like the new RE.  Good luck!

pulga131

it is so worth drive and all else to find a dr youre comfortable with, glad the appointment went well today and that personality was a better fit. good luck with the ivf cycle!

kellyrn9956

Yay for a plan! Sounds like the new RE is a blessing (although the SET thing kind of sucks). Anyway, best of luck!

kmc84

Sounds like a great plan! Good luck with your IVF!

Run20K

That sounds like an awesome appointment Farmerlynda!  It is so nice to have a plan!

MsGMChick

I'm so glad you loved the new RE! Good luck in Jan, Lynda!

ccam

Sounds like a great fit for you guys. Good luck!!

machole513

I'm sl glad you are happy with your new RE..having someone you like & trust def helps in the whole process.. Good luck with the IVF in the New year!

pugznploons

sounds like a great doctor!  I'm glad you found someone you are comfortable with and it sounds like you have a great plan in place!  Good luck!

sbrowns08

I'm glad everything went smoothly for you! It's so important to trust your RE. I'm glad you have a good plan in place. Looks like we might be cycling together!

farmerlynda

Thanks so much for the encouragement, ladies!  Sorry I did a bit of a post-and-run... I didn't realize how late it had gotten and suddenly we had to rush down to the field to harvest for our CSA program.  It's the very last week, pickup is tomorrow, and we are showering them with Thanksgiving-type produce -- parsnips, beets, rutabagas, celery root, celery, carrots, pie pumpkins and boatloads of winter squash! 

Limpetfan -- I hope we end up cycle buddies, and to be honest, I'm kind of relieved we're doing IVF/ICSI too... I think that IUI would have been too risky and emotionally stressful to get my hopes up and then deal with more BFNs. 

& both limpetfan and sbrowns -- I am truly hoping 2012 is the year for both of you!  And I'm glad to be in good company on this IVF journey.  (As an aside, screw you, 2011, I'm so ready to be done with you and on to the next year.  2012 has to be better for all of us, right?)

Gregermis -- The SET policy does include FET, although I'm not sure if there are any costs that aren't covered.  (I know the IVF price does not include anesthesia, for instance.)  I talk to the financial person on Friday, but from the plans I've looked at on their website, I think I am going to go with the one that gives you 80% refund if the IVF doesn't work (*after* using all embryos on FET, which is also included in the price).  

Daisies1706

Good luck! I'm so glad you found a better RE for you!

Robeano

Wow, this is such fantastic news! I'm glad the new RE was better. It's always better when you like your doctor.

Good luck in the new year with the IVF!

farmerlynda

MissMusic:

Lynda!

This RE sounds like a good fit for you.  I'm glad you guys had such a good meeting, mock transfer and all!  I'm very excited that you get to do IVF soon--keep me updated!

PS- I'm not sure if its ok that I post here once in a while to check in on people.  If I've made a mistake in this, I apologize in advance.

Please do!  That's why my siggy says PAIF/SAIF welcome... if anybody else minds you posting in my thread, then they need to butt the heck out

blueberries8

So, so happy to hear this - sounds like a great plan! I look forward to following your cycle!

eponine7682

I am so happy that you have a plan! You must be so relieved! Best of luck to you!!

DMCKnox

So glad to hear that your new RE visit went well - I wish you the very best of luck.  I like PP's comment about coming back from vacay ready to kick IF's butt - go get em!!!

maggie2324

If this was facebook, I'd click the "like" button.

I hope we get an RE like that, but so far we're sticking with the MFI urologist until he refers us to one (probably next appt). 

MandaS08

I'm so happy that you have an RE you feel comfortable with and a plan in place.  We're hoping to cycle in January as well-so hopefully we'll be going through it together.

Good luck!  (and enjoy your vacation!)

Mitzi Bishi

Lynda, this is wonderful news! 

I really hope the new year brings a lot of fantastic surprises your way and that this new RE is the answer for you guys.

I'm also looking forward to your France updates! I'll be thinking of you.  

steff13914

Happy to hear you found a new RE that you like! Best of luck with IVF. We'll be cycle buddies!