PW4: (last one) Boys and Dance...

sundot

So, long story short, I signed up ds1 (Tommy) for a Superhero Tumbling class while dd is in dance class. He absolutely loves it and looks forward to it every Tuesday!! I enjoy watching him play and follow directions and get along with other boys around his age (he is not yet in preschool).

Problem: DH is kinda okay with the class but he has a huge issue with the recital and won't let Tommy participate. (I was extremely surprised at DH--he is not the stereotypical testosterone-rich kind of guy). There are 8 boys in the class and their fathers don't have an issue with the recital. I have told DH that it's all about teamwork and his friends will be doing this. I am getting Tommy the Batman costume thinking that I have until May to change DH's mind. What do you think? Would your DH have an issue with this? Ugh... Thanks, ladies.

ali-1411

He would wear a Batman costume with a group of boys on stage?  How adorable is that?!?!?! 

I think my DH would be fine with that.  I wouldn't want him wearing a tutu with a group of girls but I don't think dance is limited to just women.  Male dancers are incredible athletes. 

mrs.wildman

My husband is adamant that if we have a boy, he will be in both ballet and football. I laugh and he tells me how dead-serious he is. You could totally play the card regarding the flexibility and balance as well as following direction and how it leads to better performance in sports (you know... down the road in oh 10-20 years)

Here's just one of many articles found on google regarding the subject - https://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/writers/jeffri_chadiha/08/03/workouts/index.html

ACR

We've talked about this b/c I would like to enroll DS in dance once he's old enough. Anything to help our kid have more coordination will be a good thing. At first DH balked, but then he realized it wasn't a big deal. If DS likes doing it, then he won't have a problem with it. It would make me sad to not let my son (particularly our very young son) participate in something he likes to do because of our own hang-ups or worries about what other people would say.

AustinAggie01

First, I'm sorry you have to try to convince your DH that this is okay, it makes me sad.  Your DS is in a Superhero Tumbling class, not a dance class.  And, all the other boys will be participating and your DS would see that and wonder why he can't be with his friends (I'm assuming DD will also be in the recital, so your whole family will be there).  It would also be completely fine if your DS was, in fact, in a dance class.  Male dancers are just as important in productions as females.  Plus, he's so young.  My DD loves her dance class right now, but at 3yo, it's just a fun thing to do.  I'm not expecting her to grow up to dance the lead in Swan Lake or anything.  You know?

Good luck.

angelaggie

My DH would have no issue with it at all. He was actually in dance as a child. His karate instructor recommended his students take dance to help with flexibility and balance. DH is a third degree black belt.

AustinAggie01

I also wanted to add that DH did take dance as a child and SIL danced with B allet A ustin for years.  FIL was on the board and MIL has held countless positions and is still active.  DH grew up attending rehearsals and all of his sisters productions.  He also played the piano, played football, swam competitively, is in a band, builds things and does all sorts of other manly things.  He eventually realized that knowing about ballet and inviting girls to the ballet was a great way to get chics...  He is supportive of DS taking any sort of class and participating in any activity that interests him.

KittyFX

That sucks, I'm sorry. I would think your DH would want him to do what the other boys were doing. Isn't it worse to him to think that he would be "left out"?

ndluvsrk

Did you already get the batman costume or do you want ours?

I think your DH might have to go to one of Tommy's classes to see how much he enjoys it and how disappointed he'd be if he didn't get to participate with all his friends in the recital. Would he have the time and be willing to do that?

 

AustinMimi

Well, my BIL is a professional ballet dancer, so no, we would not have an issue with a recital (dance or tumbling) for boys. Lots of male athletes take ballet and FWIW, male dancers do not wear tutus. In fact, here's Arnold Schwarzenegger being schooled by a ballerina in the documentary Pumping Iron:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WP7CrcNi93c 

userdeleted

I think it could be difficult to get DH on board with a dance class, but he'd probably be fine with a superhero tumbling class. And either way, once in the class he would never try to hold the boys out of the recital. I'd just play the angle that your poor DS is going to be really disappointed if all of his friends do the recital and he isn't allowed. He's not going to get why his dad doesn't like it.

I think your DH lost the chance to say no to this when he let you put your DS in the class. Now he's in the class and it doesn't seem fair to not let him participate fully, ykwim? I think that if I were in your situation I would put my foot down on this one.

m_and_m

In all honesty, this is a place where I would put my foot down and say he's doing it whether DH likes it or not. I rarely do that though, so when I do DH knows I'm serious and it's going to get ugly if he pushes me (and that goes both ways). If he weren't willing to come watch a class, then I would be even more adamant- "If you can't take the time out of your schedule to see what it's about, then you don't get a say. DS loves it, the rest of the class is doing it, so he is too."

Is it the word "recital" that triggers him? Can you call it an exhibition or something? That's what we always called it when I was little- recitals were dance and music solos, band had concerts, gymnastics had exhibitions.

sundot

Thanks, ladies. We went to class today and I just can't let him skip out on his recital. I must admit that I don't much care for the word "recital" either but it is a boy tumbling class and my son loves it!! Like I said, I have until May to convince DH that ds should do the recital with his friends. 

To be fair to DH, I didn't get a chance to ask him about ds's participation; it honestly was a last minute decision on my part. And when I did introduce the idea I mentioned that dance is really good for athletes for coordination and balance. I appreciate the link to SI.com--that is really helpful

NDK, I guess I will forgo your generous offer to pass on the Batman and Robin costumes. When I asked you about that I had no idea that Tommy would be getting a batman costume. Thank you!!

And, thanks ladies for taking the time to respond