"Just do it the easy way!"

JNoelleE

Ugh. How do you ladies handle the negative responses to deciding to do things naturally? I don't even want to tell my friends because I know they will just look at me like I'm crazy... Like I'm somehow trying to be 'cool' or 'better' than those who decided to get an epidural, or who wanted a c-section, or wanted to get induced. I don't want to have to explain myself, but I don't know how not to because I feel like anyone who questions me like that must not have the right information. My step mom was the one who said "Ugh- Just do it the easy way!". I tried to explain to her that when you get an epidural early on it can slow things down, and then they will want to give you pitocin, which can sometimes put the baby in distress, which can lead to c-section, and is probably why c-section rates are about 1 in 3 births now. Some hospitals even more than that. (They all can't be emergency c-sections- lots' have to be the result of many failed interventions!) But she just looked at me like I was making this up, or maybe she just couldn't digest anything I was saying at the moment. (She's weird and was sipping on her vodka, with no mixer!) Anyway- I can't say that to everyone, especially those who have children and did not do it naturally because they will probably think I'm being a rude elitist or something and that's not what I'm trying to be. I just have no desire to do it any other way.

noryang

I can't speak to the issue with you mom but re: friends or the general public - are you volunteering this information? We are planning a home birth and anticipated mny negative responses. So we decided to not tell anyone about our decision unless we HAD to. By this I mean that we only share if asked a question that would require us to lie such as -which hospital are you using? I was also afraid that volunteering this info on a regular basis could be interpreted as showing off. But so far all of the responses have been neutral or positive - mixed with a bit of surprise and curiosity.

fryrat

I'm kinda in the same boat. I am hoping beyond all hope that my gf doesn't ask about my plans. Her first, she hard labored for 24 hours, then had to do c/s. She tried everything, apparently even hanging from the ceiling. The other 2 she just had the c/s, she was afraid of a repeat.

She would likely respond with "are you crazy!?"

frostnoel

I wish we didn't have to explain our reasons.  When ppl decide to have an epidural, they never feel the need to justify that.  That being said, I agree with PP, don't volunteer the information.  The majority of the population has been convinced that a hospital birth with all the interventions that typically go with it, is safer and healthier for mom and baby. 

sschwege

I think that's pretty typical.  As pp said I wouldn't volunteer the information and if it comes up just say you are going into it with an open mind, you will wait and see when the day comes, etc.  

cros8380

This is always a weird situation, but one that I think is important to respond to. I think no matter what you say, it's good to "get it out there" that there are women who are choosing med-free births. I think it will only serve to reverse some of what society views as the "cultural norms".

Now, knowing what to say is the real trick- one I don't have an answer for. I do recommend focusing on your choices and the postivie reasons why, ie " I have chosen a med-free birth because after doing some research/reading, I've decided that this is what is best/safest for me and my baby". Something like that will hopfeully keep the focus of your decision to YOU and what is best for YOU and YOUR baby....not what was so bad for others (i.e. "epidurals pose dangers for mom and baby"). It won't be easy for someone to argue with you over personal decisions you've made for yourself and your baby, and they may even ask you what you've read (although those perfect teaching moments never seem to happen!) 

HTH!

3giraffes

cros8380:

This is always a weird situation, but one that I think is important to respond to. I think no matter what you say, it's good to "get it out there" that there are women who are choosing med-free births. I think it will only serve to reverse some of what society views as the "cultural norms".

Now, knowing what to say is the real trick- one I don't have an answer for. I do recommend focusing on your choices and the postivie reasons why, ie " I have chosen a med-free birth because after doing some research/reading, I've decided that this is what is best/safest for me and my baby". Something like that will hopfeully keep the focus of your decision to YOU and what is best for YOU and YOUR baby....not what was so bad for others (i.e. "epidurals pose dangers for mom and baby"). It won't be easy for someone to argue with you over personal decisions you've made for yourself and your baby, and they may even ask you what you've read (although those perfect teaching moments never seem to happen!) 

HTH!

This.  With my son I had med free with very little intervention due to circumstances.  I planned it that way and told people, when asked, that I chose to for his and my health.  I plan to do the same this time around, too.

Nechie122

My mom made a lot of strange comments about going natural (even after I had done it!) but I just ignored her and didn't take them personally.

I didn't really discuss it with anyone else except my closest friends, sister and another girl I know who was pregnant at the same time and also planning to go natural.

Then again, a lot people here in New York are into the whole eco-friendly, organic living-type stuff so maybe I'm just surrounded by like-minded people who are totally cool with natural birth, even if they don't think they'd choose it for themselves.  In other words, I was hardly the first person they've met to say she was planning to go med-free. 

kristin172429

I like to think that not getting a needle in my spine IS the easy way, thank you very much!  I just tend to tell people that my fear of that needle is greater than my fear of the pain (I'm not really afraid of the pain of child birth - it is what it is).  That tends to shut people up, even if they still think I'm crazy.

pinksweetpea2

Don't offer them the information...don't try to change their minds...just don't talk about it.  

If you do end up getting into a discussion and someone says this to you, tell them that you ARE doing it the easy way.  I mean, for me, there was nothing easier than laboring at my house and giving birth in my living room. ::shrugs::  

JNoelleE

Yeah, I never planned on 'volunteering' this information, but as most of you women know, the subject does come up very easily. I didn't bring it up to my step mother- she just started going off on all this stuff. A lot of my friends would be the types to ask if I am planning on getting an epidural. Some already have, and when I said I didn't want one they were really confused, so I did have to explain briefly about why I didn't want one. They understood, but they also haven't had kids yet. I just don't like how it's something I have to worry about bringing up to avoid getting into an awkward discussion. It should be viewed way more openly than everything else is! Just bugs me.