I may have a heart attack

CPA04

XH is threatening to have DS baptized in his home church with him and his GF and said I can show up or choose not to and there's nothing I can do about it if he does it on a weekend he has visitation.

Hand me a paper bag before I pass out...

 I'm in tears right now.  Tell me this isn't as big a deal as I'm making it out to be in my head.  Tell me I'm being a drama queen....  or just give me a hug.

HisChamaoleGirl

I may have missed an earlier post, but what are you against the most? The baptizmal? Or the GF thing?

PrincessFiona9

I'm not sure I understand the issue. You can still have your own baptism in your church, if that's what you're worried about. I don't go to church, but Ex and his family are church-goers so I'm fine with DD going to church during his visitation time and if he chooses to get her baptized that's fine with me.

JCGreene85

Do you share legal custody? If not, he can't make religious decisions like that. Are you against his choice of church? If you have joint legal he gets to be apart of deciding right? 

I would be upset too. DS was baptized and I let ex be a part of the process.  

CPA04

tifanico:

It is an important event in a child?s life so no, you are not over reacting. If you two have joint legal custody he cannot do that without your permission.

DD will get baptized on Thursday. We had a long conversation about what faith we would get her baptized and we BOTH decided she would be catholic like me. In addition, he not only will be attending to the ceremony but he picked a godfather on his side.  

We share joint legal custody.  I know he can't legally do it without my permission, but in all practicality, there's nothing stopping him right?  I wouldn't have much recourse legally.  I want DS baptized, heck, I even pushed XH to decide what he wanted last year when DS was much younger but he drug his feet on the whole thing.  We agree on DS's religious upbringing for the most part.

It's the way he's going about this important milestone that bothers me.  I would like a small, private ceremony with XH, myself, and DS's godparents (XH's cousins).  XH wants all his family, extended family, etc. present.  That would be fine in an ideal situation where our families could be in the same place, in OUR church that we were members of and attended while together, but because of all that's happened, it's just not feasible. Under his "plan", none of my family would be able to attend due to location and it would be incredibly awkward even if they were able.

It's more important to me that DS is baptized than to worry about the guestlist, big celebatory celebration afterwards, and the like.  It just seems like he's trying to take control of a situation and then laugh in my face about it afterwards.

Jays-n-Shane

**lurker de-lurking**

 There was actually a big case in the news a few years ago where a mother got a court to issue an injunction preventing her XH from having their child baptized.  I think there was a difference of religion there, but it is possible to have the court rule on it *IF* you want to take it that far.

CPA04

Jays-n-Shane:

**lurker de-lurking**

 There was actually a big case in the news a few years ago where a mother got a court to issue an injunction preventing her XH from having their child baptized.  I think there was a difference of religion there, but it is possible to have the court rule on it *IF* you want to take it that far.

It's one of those things that if he does it, no matter what would happen after the fact legally, it's not something he could undo, kwim?  I realize I'm probably coming off as very dramatic, but it breaks my heart that I wouldn't be there for such an important event and he thrives on having that power.